New and SAD... (page 2)

Jez

Oh wow. I am sooo sorry for you. I can't believe that you went and confessed, only to be df'ed. How unloving. Too bad you fell for that ol "they have a right to know everything about your life." It was none of their business what happened in your personal life. Sadly, the boundaries between privacy are very blurred when you are in.

Going to meetings for one year and still not reinstated!! And df'ed only for drinking!! Crazy! I was df'ed for adultry and reinstated within 3 months. No consistency. It is about who you know and whether or not they like you.

My heart really goes out to you. I hope you find peace and fill your life with positive ppl. The sad thing is, once you are shunned by your family, it is never right again because you see a part of them that should never be seen. For them to be able to do that, hurts much deeper than anything. Conditional love is not love. Five for fighting's song "The Reason". He says one line that always sums up for me now what is so lacking with most JW's. "I love you free". I won't accept anything less now. At one time, I was desperate for acceptance, even on their terms. Now, I want to be loved, free.

You are in my thoughts and hopes. Jez

BlackSwan of Memphis

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((mals))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

It is interesting isn't it, if God can forgive a person in well under a year, why can't some man made org?

Welcome to the board.

mavie

((((Dreamer))))

I left last year. All of the family and friends I had/have were in that religion. It will hurt for some time, but you can find a great support group here. Take advantage of the great research about JW's that others have done, get involved here and make some new friends.

Trust me, it gets better and you will wake up one day smiling inside.

tijkmo

I went to them and told them that I have a problem with drinking but, after the judicial committee they decided to disfellowship me. I got drunk along with my best friend who is also a witness. She was not disfellowshipped but, I was. I pleaded with them and asked for help for my drinking problem but, nonetheless, they took away my life

and they still have the gall to print in the wt that only unrepentant people get df

shoot the wounded

so welcome

i too have done the crying in the night thing..it is just so bewildering ..i dont do it so much now tho..4 years on

yesidid

Dear ((((Mals)))),

Welcome to the board. I hope we can comfort and help you.
Yours is a gut wrenching story, even just reading about
it. I can’t bear even to imagine what you are going through.
Loss of family and friends is such a tragic emotional blow.

The cruelty of those elders is absolutely scandalous.
To d/f you after your contrite confession is anti Jesus,
anti love and not even humane.

And they call themselves Christian!!!!!!!!

I have often wondered how I would cope in such a
situation and have thought that I would probably
prefer to put up with a year of hell at the meetings
than indefinite separation from my family and friends.
You must remember they really think they are doing
the right thing. They think Jehovah expects that of them.
They are deceived, as we all were.

The very sad thing is, they also are hurting deeply.
I imagine your mother has cried almost as much as you.
Remember they still love you, however they are captives,
and not to the word of God, but to the men in Brooklyn.
Men, they think are directed by God.

The good thing is even if you temporarily went back to
regain your family, you would never be a captive of the
WBTS again. And after a while you just may be able to
help them. You can’t help much, if you can’t talk to them.
In the final analysis you must decide. In your situation
there is no right or wrong approach. You must do what
is best for your conscience, peace of mind and emotional health.

Hugs

yesidid

BabaYaga

You are right, Dreamer, Jehovah has definitely forgiven you. Those elders cannot be the judge of ANYTHING, and what they have done to you is WRONG. Welcome. You are in the right place.

The cold sweat waking crying dreams dissipate in time, trust me.

Hugs and strength to you,
Baba.

patient

Sorry to hear of you sadness - in time it will pass - not much comfort for now, sorry but knowing you are going in the right direction may give you comfort - as you develop and build a life beyond the "control" of the JW machine you will become a free spirit enjoying life ever more as each days passes - believe me after 30 some years blinded by the mind control tactics - I for the last few years "one day at a time" have been gaining my life and my personality which had till then been dictated by the Society rules!

Also if you have had the fortune to be involved in a 12 step program as part of your recovery (if you have not yet look up an "Al-Anon" meeting they are great for Ex JWs in more ways than you can imagine) - you will have began to understand the concept of acceptance, equality and forgiveness that our creator has blessed us with - for me learning that we are each acceptable to God as he created us made me more determined to accept and love others as they are - those who cannot accept us (you) as we (you) are - they are the ones losing out and there are better friends to be had - as hard as the transition is it is worth the effort

Kind thoughts go to you from me....

Patient

searching4truth

Welcome mals

((((((((((((mals)))))))))))))))

my heart goes out to you

compound complex

Dear Mals,

Pour out your heart and soul here any hour of the day. You will get many a response - a variety of viewpoints that go way behind the unsatisfying, canned WT answers to life's problems. I am "merely" inactive, but I do feel the pain you describe even though my circumstances are surely not as harrowing as yours. It's taken me five years to recover from what began - five years ago! Don't give up!

Love and peace to you,

CoCo

Balsam

Welcome Mals,

Understand how much suffering your going through, many here have suffered the same kinds of stuff. God forgives but the Elders and congregations don't. They believe they are superior and their not. I've been disfellowshipped 6 years, it gets better as you gradually make friends with other people and move away from the Family pressures.

Balsam

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