I just read the Mary/Gumby where are they thread. I want to say right from the start that I like Gumball very much. I've talked by phone to him in the past and we've had some discussions here over the years. He's a great guy!! .......That being said, I would have a very difficult time listening to the "Truth" again, knowing what I know now. To be reinstated for family considerations-----I can totally understand it. But I don't believe I could ever do that. i guess him credit, he must truly love his family and it must be worth the sacrifice......Somehow, my heart and brain tell me he won't be able to continue the double life. Meanwhile, I wish him only the best and hope he doesn't get caught coming here.
Your Feelings On Getting Reinstated For Family Considerations
by minimus 102 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
megsmomma
I can understand it...and if I had to (like for my daughter) I would concider it.....However I would have to get really good at controlling the urge to roll my eyes all the time.Or make these facesAnd lastly.......
I hope the ultimate reason for "going back" is accomplished....and worth the mental anxiety.(For all that do)
-
fullofdoubtnow
Well, I don't have any family in the org, so I would never have to consider the step Gumby has taken, but I know how families treat those who leave, and I really do sympathise with him for having to take this step merely to have contact with his loved ones. I hope he can do this on his own terms as much as possible, by not going in the service, and missing as many meetings as he can get away with, and I hope he is still able to post on JWD.
Even if I had family in the org, I really don't think I could go back and sit through any of those meetings again.
-
OUTLAW
WTF!!!..Gumby`s going back???..Say it isn`t so!..Wow!..Lots of people on this board do,what they have to do..I guess thats where Gumby is..I don`t see him lasting long..He`s too smart for that sh*t..I do wish him well though..Come visit us often Gumbster!...OUTLAW
-
juni
It's very sad and unfortunate that most JWs feel that they should manipulate family members in order to satisfy their selfish needs - which I feel comes down to preserving their "status" in the cong. and for some of these people it's a show of power over that person. They want to call the shots and it doesn't really have anything to do w/the religion's teachings, but is an excuse for being a bully. They hit them where it hurts; family relationships. If that is the case, then they will forever find you coming up short and will have some reason to hold you back from their "love". If you are a kind-hearted and loving person they will bulldoze you and rant and rave until you give in to their desires. You'll never be able to please them.
Even Jesus said to love your enemies. They won't do that to those that no longer believe as they do.
But with that being said, Gumbro like others in his position have to do what is best for them. I couldn't and I love my adult kids so much.
Juni
-
givepeaceachance
I think Gumby has shown a lot of love and respect for his family.
But I think he is going back for the wrong reasons.
But the important thing to remember is we all need our families love regardless of how disfunctional they may have been.
We should all support his decision and respect it.
-
NewYork44M
I would never judge a person for going back for family. I feel sorry for them, but I cannot be critical.
Consider going back theocratic warfare. In some ways going back undermines the stability of the congregation. The congregation now has one more person who does not believe. That can't be a good thing for them.
-
kid-A
At the very best, its like using a band-aid to try to fix a flesh wound. At worst, its like putting out fire with gasoline.
Ultimately, it is a decision that will possibly postpone disaster, but not prevent it, once all the simmering resentment underneath reaches its boiling point.
IMHO, its nothing more than an attempted validation of false premises, false beliefs and artificial, conditional love between the JW family and the DFd person.
Nevertheless, its arguably the most brilliant tool of emotional blackmail at the JWs disposal.
-
LovesDubs
I could no more go back to that organization than I could get into the jeans I wore when I weighed 129 pounds!! I couldnt possibly LIE well enough to convince anybody and Im sure I couldnt keep my mouth shut. I wouldnt last two seconds. And I know..."you can never go back" because its never the same as it was before you left. Just like cheating on your spouse, even if they forgive you and keep you around, that "thing" is always and forever going to be there and they wont trust you any more.
My mother in law, god I love her to death because her heart is huge and good, studies Christianity more than anybody I ever met and was a JW for 20 or more years when suddenly her studies started causing her mind to draw DIFFERENT conclusions about what the scriptures said than the JWs were teaching her and had been teaching her and the dissonance began. So in 1999 after a long deliberation time, because we ALL know there is "no good reason to leave Jehovah", she DAd. Her JW Elder husband left her, her two JW grown children shunned her and she lost friends that were as close as family to her and suddenly found herself on the outside looking in at something that had been her entire life lo those many years. And I was the only one she could now, ironically after shunning ME...talk to. In 2002, she broke down, the loneliness and isolation got to her and she drew away from me. I knew what was happening. And her youngest son one day emailed me and said oh..didnt you know? Mom is going to meetings again. I was NOT surprised. And after a solid year of groveling and kissing butt, and allowing the JWs to let her 35 year old Downs daughter get BAPTIZED against her better judgement which she DIDNT voice out of fear, she was reinstated. Her JW elder husband came back, very very slowly, her JW children started to talk to her again, with trepidation because NOBODY believed she was back because of the religion...and all her ex friends DIDNT accept her back with open arms as she thought they would. They regarded her with suspicion and as damaged goods. So...after 2-1/2 more years of trying to make a square peg fit a round hole...she realized she DIDNT believe any of it, as she tried to convince us all she did...and she DAd again at the beginning of 06. Her husband stayed..tho that situation is tenuous. And her JW children immediately shunned her again and now her Downs daughter is being told that her mother is under Satan and left Jehovah and that if SHE followed her mother that SHE would be disfellowshipped and not be in paradise! Can you believe the balls of these people telling a retarded child that???
If anybody can actually make this work...god love ya. The price is way too high for the likes of me.
-
Bumble Bee
Whew, that's a tough question to answer. I'm not sure about it.
Not all of my family is JW, and those that are I don't see hardly anyways, so it wouldn't be a big deal. My mom and my sister I have a relationship that is not the same as it was before anyways. I think they are distancing themselves after the recent article in the rags, she doesn't call anymore, but will talk to me if I call.
I'm closer to my brother and sis in law and the kids now, so I wouldn't want to give that up, but I think they are on their way out too. (Celebrating birthdays, exchanged "Christmas" presents, hardly attending meetings.)
I could maybe do what gumby is doing - get reinstated then start the fade, his family must really be worth it, I'm not sure that the majority of mine is. (Sad thing to admit isn't it???)
BB