With interest I find that once again the LDS faith is cast as the twin tower of Mordor to the Watchtower Orthanc. We are not the same my precious. Read these quotes below to see just how different we really are.
Active members (I can't believe how cocky they are!)
"What nutritional value does it have if it doesn't contain Jello?"
"I needed a blood transfusion and both my hometeachers turned up with their sleeves rolled up and their emergency first aid kits."
"I have so much wheat that I've built an extension just to put the silo in."
"My church get's so much money through tithing that you could almost believe it actually is a kingdom."
"I enjoyed my mission."
"Its so cool - I get to go inside the temple and see all the best bits while everyone else just has to bitch about it from the outside."
"I'm in so much debt - I went to university"
"I could never work out why we never put out any literature against other churches? Heck, we don't even belittle anyone on our website. I wish we'd print some 'your beliefs stink' tract or something just to yank the chains of the heathen christians."
"I can undesrtand why some religious people get peeved by us - we have a prophet, a martyr, angelic visits, continuing revelation, new scriptures, healings and stuff. I guess they want us to be boring and give all that up and just do like they do and pretend we know the scriptures better than anyone else so we must be right"
Inactive Members
"Hell, I had to go visit members of my church - even when they had left. I wish I could have shunned some of them. Come to think of it I have some fundamentalist family members who I would love to have a proper excuse to avoid."
"They made me study the friggin bible in the morning! It wasn't like I was even memorising stuff that could be used to bash other faiths. And then on top of it all I had to actually go live it."
"Tithing - what a joke - Abraham did it and look what happened to him. How can anyone think that God could need cash both sides of the birth of Jesus!"
"Like I had to baptise and bless people - they said I had some kind of authority - like you need God to say its OK to do stuff for Him! Heck if I want to I could set up a church right now and God would just have to go along with it and accept I was His rep - God's cool like that - you get to teach what you like and blame Him!"
"I was actually encouraged to work really hard and not accept simple menial work as all I was good enough for. They said I was good enough to be a God and so should try and be great at all things I did- what a crock of garbage - I just wanted to clean floors."
"Hahaha - they said I could actually ask God if any of it was true and that I should only be a member if God himself said I should - ah well how bizarre is that. They miss the whole point about the bible - that's the only proof you need (as long as your willing to accept the latest interpretation ) - there's no need to bother God along the way."