JW restrictions on sex, lead to over hype that made sex disappointing.

by free2beme 65 Replies latest jw friends

  • Forscher
    Forscher

    when I think about it, my first time wasn't quite what I expected.

    Several factors were in play. The watchtower hype, a nervous divorcee who was unsure of having sex with another man (she'd only had one sexual partner prior to me), and my own inexperience as I'd never done it before. The three factors combined to make for an experience which was not up to what was expected. Once my new wife got past her initial nervousness, she put her experience to work. By the time we fell asleep early the next morning, it had exceeded all expectations! I cherish the memories.

    Forscher

  • choosing life
    choosing life

    A young MS got married at the age of 20. When he returned from his honeymoon, all I heard was how the sex was a big let-down. He even stated that he would not have gotten married if he knew that the sexual experience was going to be so disappointing. He said that he only got married so he could have sex.

    I felt so sorry for his young wife. How embarassing! Never did hear any response from her. They are still together though. She is a pretty and nice girl. Kind of shy. I thought this brother should have been raked over the coals for treating his wife in such a fashion, but nothing happened. So, I would say that many young ones do get married just to have sex and many are probably disappointed after all the guilt trips they receive when they are young.

    Thank goodness I was already married when I joined up and am still happily married.

  • DaCheech
    DaCheech

    Just 2 tidbits about sex and women:

    1) one thing I notice is that I always supported my wife emotionally, whether she was 110lbs or 155lbs.. But when she lost some weight her self esteem got better, and she enjoys herself more, and asks for it more often.

    2) one think I miss is the reciprocal pleasure. Even though we have great sex, sometimes I feel a,little missing since I have to do more on her (spend more time also) than she does on me!..... But I guess I put up with alot for love and being horny

  • JapanBoy
    JapanBoy

    miss katiekitten.....i lol when i read you post about the 'elders' son....what did you really want to do with that kid? god i have a dirty mind...k

  • done4good
    done4good
    Later he explained, that his bride was so hung up in guilt over the act, that it was often an awkward and less then exciting experience.

    My ex-wife.

    j

  • JapanBoy
    JapanBoy

    and seeker4.....it must have taken more than a good personaility to hook your partner in......what's your secret?

  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    Well there is hope, even for the most disappointed ex Jw's among you.

    I married a young 17 yr' old jw girl with some experience with sex, when I was a 20 yr' old with NO sexual experience. She married to get away from mother and family. She never really enjoyed sex, maybe due to my ignorance and trying to follow the wbts rules.

    In 12 yrs, of marriage and 4 children. The youngest one was only 18 months old. She decided she never wanted a husband and 4 children and abandoned Our family, not to be seen again for 24 yrs.

    Married another jw 9 years younger than me and sex was not much of a source of pleasure for her and was a disappointment for me. Why? I think it was a lack of experience and being raised in a jw family for me and or a family where she was molested.

    After another divorce and me being df'd I met and married a "worldly" ( I hate that word ) woman who actually taught me what good sex is.

    Unfortunately she passed away.

    I have known a lady for a while that is 73 y'rs old and I am 70 . She was in the area and came to visit.

    Fortunately that part of our bodies is still functioning for us both. We had some of the best sex I have ever had last night and we awoke this morning and did it again.

    So there is still hope for you youngsters if you get rid of the jw mindset and begin to trust some of those evil people who do not like the jw's demands. Being kind gentle and not aftaid to ask your partner what it is they like and do not like.

    Do not even let the thought of what might be right or wrong enter your mind.

    Concentrate on what the other one wants and please them as you tell what you like, and how good they are at it.

    Then both focus on what pleases the other, along with some kind and loving comments and praise and thank your partner for the pleasure as you receive it, not tomorrow.

    Relax and try any new activity while You explain it and ask, is this ok to try??

    See, it is not so difficult.

    Outoftheorg

  • Kudra
    Kudra

    WOW outoftheorg!!!

    reminds me of the couple in the movie "the world's fastest indian" (you old foxes)

    ;)

    I worked for a 70+ yr old man who told me that he and his wife were "still very passionate" (with a wink)

    Stuff like this warms my heart.

    :)

    -K

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    Looks like I'm screwed, then (pun intended). 21 and I didn't cheat, like my friends and family did. And seeing as how I'm not staying in this cult for the long run...no JW wife....

    Man am I screwed.

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Sex was definitely placed on a pedestal in my time. They didn't talk about it like 'the icing on the cake', it was the only thing you couldn't get before marriage and therefore the most precious and sacred thing. It had to be something good if God cared that much about it!

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