Then: suicidal
Now: indescribably happy
What Difference Is There Between Your Life As A Witness----And Now??
by minimus 42 Replies latest jw experiences
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Dismembered
I've finally been able to scrape that watchtower shit from right off my shoes!
Dismembered
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Bam412
I wouldn't say that I have run off to that rainbow and found gold and living happier ever after... I still get happy days and miserable days, but I am realise now that this is normal and happens to everyone. To blame Satan for bad and thank Jehovah for good is just a form of superstition and mentally, very unhealthy.
For me however, the pro's are: -
Getting pissed and feeling good about it!
Doing those things you do with the one you love and not worrying that a Watchtower is coming out and feel that everyone is pointing at you!
Reading a fictional book and not feel guilty because you haven't done this week's bible reading! Generally having a good time and not worrying that you haven't prestudied a book about Jesus' life for the 5th time running!
Finding really true friends who love you unconditionally and are really there for you. They are not going to judge you because you did something that the WTS say not to.
Not being judged wrongly all the time by badly educated simpletons who don't know themselves but feel it their obligation to know and judge you. And worse, having to answer to them! Arghhhhhhhhhhh...
Freedom of speech.
Having my confidence back!
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Mystla
Bam412: Near as I can tell no one has welcomed you to the board yet, so.. here it is...
WELCOME!!
misty
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Ex-Jo Ho
Wow!!! Where do I begin! FREEDOM....the guilt is subsiding...the fear is also going away. I've been able to think for myself, ask questions and become a more independent and confident woman. And yes....free time...ha ha...imagine that? I just came across this site and so glad that I did...I think I've found an outlet. Hey everybody!
Jo
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mouthy
Welcome EX-JO-HO Welcome to the board. Glad to have you join us ...Sure is great to INdependantly think now. Using the brain our Creator gave us ((((HUGS from Granny on board
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done4good
Welcome Ex Jo-Ho !;
No more guilt over stupid things. Free time on weekends, and evenings. Confidence. Self-honesty. Better decision making. More fun. Able to pursue intrests without guilt, and have time for them. MUCH less judgemental of others. Don't get angry nearly as often. Don't blame/praise mythological forces for everything that happens in life. HAPPIER!
j
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NanaR
From an outside point of view: While looking at pictures from about 5 years ago, my husband said, "You look way younger now than you did then!". Reason -- 5 years ago I was still kind of "in the middle" on what to do about my life. Now I feel secure in myself, who I am inside, and it is showing on the outside. (Dear hubby still doesn't really understand this about me, but we are closer now as married folk than we have been in YEARS :-) I am happy, and it shows in my face and in the things I do.
From an inside standpoint: I have grown up mentally and emotionally (about time, don't you think?). What I mean is this -- while studying psychology and philosophy (I started college at 42), I discovered the childish nature of "magical thinking". Children believe that things happen just because they wished them to happen; children also believe that the adults who care for them are omniscient.
When I decided in my heart that I was no longer a Witness (in 2003), I joined the Ladies Auxiliary of the AmVets organization. I attended their meetings, pledged allegiance to the flag (of course I knew every word, having listened in silence to it my entire life!), among other things. I did this in spite of a certain amount of irrational fear; I was convinced that the elders would immediately know what I was doing. After all, if God knows everything (and I still do believe this, but don't ask me to define God just yet. I'm working on that one.) and IF the WTBTS is God's ONLY representative organization on earth, and IF engaging in these activities automatically makes me an apostate and constitutes my disassociating myself by my actions, THEN does it not follow that the elders of the congregation would find out very soon about my activity? How could they not?
Well, either they didn't find out or they did not act. Judging by the fact that old friends still speak to me, come to my house to leave magazines, invite me to meetings, etc., they really seem to be clueless. Don't get me wrong, I am quite sure that at some point the **it will hit the fan (maybe after I attend a Catholic Mass this evening for the first time), but the interim period has given me a good opportunity to become strong in myself. I have my answer ready, and it is this: I no longer believe that ANYONE or ANY GROUP is God's exclusive representative on earth. That being the case, I have no basis in faith for remaining one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
So my life is different because I 1) am happy and 2) have confidence in my ability to think and act for myself as an ethical and moral person.
Nana R
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LongHairGal
Lonelysheep:
I agree with you about the guilt. I used to be consumed by it but it has worn away.
Now I have to get over the residual anger. I am angry about how anybody dared expect me to always feel guilty for what I couldn't or wouldn't do and/or always be apolgizing for something I never did (the original sin thing).
LHG -
moshe
in those pre-Tivo days as a witness I missed a lot of TV shows. I enjoy my evenings at home with the new family and watch whatever I please.