Should I marry a JW ?

by curiousabouthim 52 Replies latest social relationships

  • BizzyBee
    Yes, we talked about children, we both want children. As far as Christmas goes, I asked if our kids could spend time with Grandma and Grandpa at that time of year and he said yes. although he does want to teach them his beliefs., including his beliefs about Christmas.

    Your children will be getting very conflicting information. If they side with their dad, they will come to despise you and the grandparents. Guaranteed.

    He loves me unconditionally.

    There will be conditions - guaranteed.

  • curiousabouthim

    oh wow, got to get out of this and fast. it is sad really, because I thought he was what I had been searching for, but I can't deal with all this. thank you all for opening my eyes. sadly leaving..................

  • jgnat

    Curious, you change your mind really really fast. First, without fully understanding the implications of his faith, you are ready to marry him. Then, with a few words from us, you are ready to leave him. I think you need to read a book's worth of information to better understand what is going on with him, what is going on with you.

    Otherwise, you will marry the NEXT nice man you meet, without checking if you are compatible at the most basic levels. Child rearing, for instance, is a biggie for me.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    If you want to know if his love is really unconditional, tell him you have been talking to ex-Jws on an internet forum.

  • sass_my_frass
    I am absolutly positive there is no other story exactly like mine

    ... actually no, somebody in your situation shows up here once a week. You're right, you don't understand what you've gotten into. He's not a normal person; deep inside he wants you to believe what he believes, and will only feel truly happy when you do. He will sacrifice everything to keep what he considers his faith, and that includes your life; eg.. if it's you who needs blood, he won't sign for it; he would think you're better off dead. Get out, get out, and find somebody who loves you the way you are, and can think for himself.

  • carla

    ... actually no, somebody in your situation shows up here once a week.--Ain't that the truth!!! And we all feel like our 'love' is somehow different, more special than any story you people here have heard. Our love can survive a cult. But soon our stories become just like the other ubm (unbelieving mate) stories.

    Believe me on this, the ubm club is one you don't want to join. From personal experience.

  • jgnat

    Let me guess, what makes you think he is so unique is that he has a heavy double-life going, doing things you'd think a religious man would not do. This makes you doubt the hold the JW's have over his life.

    If I'm right, and that's what you are thinking, your situation is not unique. The JW's have a lot of rules. Many JW's in order to stay sane, lead that double life. In that sense, you are his "dirty little secret". If you want to test this out, try showing up at his Kingdom Hall, and see if he openly admits his devotion to you in front of his religious friends.

  • curiousabouthim

    Thank you to all who didn't judge me and actully tried to help me.

  • lv4fer

    So, you are in love with this guy. I'm sure he has a lot of fine qualities and that is why you love him. Being a JW can bring out either the worst or the best in a person. In his case let's say the best. You are kidding yourself if you think he doesn't want you to become one. I can guarantee you that he thinks he will win you over and you will become one. Before you commit you need to read up on the JW's. Some of the sites that show the history, their changes in doctrines over the years etc.etc. only after you arm yourself then you show the information to him and watch his reaction. See if he will be as open minded about the information you find as he expects you to be about his religion. There will be one of two respnses. A- he will listen and actually take in the information, digest it and then realize he needs to leave and you two will have a happy life. B- The JW's brainwashing wall will go up and he will say that you are reading Apostate information and that he will not listen or read the information. If this happens you have two choices. Marry him and he will continue to try to win you over the JW way he will wear you down or you will have an unhappy and probably unsuccesfull marriage. Or you can run in the opposite direction and not marry him. My suggestion is to show him the facts on the JW's and see how he reacts. This will determine whether yo want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

  • LovesDubs

    Oh yeah...ask Tom Cruise if he has any intention or had any intention of "persuading" Katie to join Scientology. He dodges that questions like superman dodges bullets baby. But he contends she is "joining of her own volition." You think for one nanosecond Katie had any choice in that matter? And now that they have a think that CHILD will have any choice?


    :) Good luck doll. Let us know how you are out there. Tell Romeo that you are cognizant that he is trying to become unevenly yoked with an unbeliever and that if he cant be loyal to his GOD , you cannot reasonably expect him to remain loyal to YOU.

Share this