by curiousabouthim 52 Replies latest social relationships
He loves me unconditionally
Jehovah's Witnesses are ignorant of the definition of "unconditional love." Their love is expressly conditioned upon acceptance of and adherence to their beliefs. It's hard to believe that this man will stray from the programming he has received. But hey, everyone needs to make their own mistakes in life, good luck!
bizzybee- what do you mean, a rat?
I am lost here.
Don't tell your boyfriend that you are visiting this site for info. JW's are taught to not do research on the Internet or talk to ex-JWs. Do you know if he is baptised? I am surprised he is dating you and my guess is that he hopes to convert you.
I wish you much luck on your decision, but if you marry him you will be in for a lot of heartache. Even if he ends up leaving the religion, a lot of JWs end up leaving and then going back; the brainwashing they do can be pretty successful on those who are not willing to do research on all the skeletons in the Watchtower Society's closet.
FYI--your sex life will be limited, as they have a lot of laws regarding how a man and wife act in the bedroom.
Also--beware of showing interest in the religion and then changing your mind. They often shun people who were never baptised into the religion.
bizzybee- what do you mean, a rat?
Uhhh.....never mind..........my morning meds hadn't kicked in yet.
Hey, BTW, how old are you and Mr. Wonderful? I think that has a bearing here.
Well, to the JW cult you, your family and all the rest of the world are only sinners that will die at Armageddon. Your boyfriend is under a very high form of cult mind control. Yes it could work with him and you could have a great life but odds are that he would choose Jehovah (his false god) instead of you if he had to choose. A good way to know is to ask him which person he loves more, you or Jehovah. I f he choose his false god that would mean that if a conflict arise between you and him and involves personal beliefs important for you he would probably reject them and maybe reject you. Food for thougts.
me, mid 20's, him, 10 years older
He already said that he loves Jehova more, which I thought was rational. I use to go to a Christian church and at that time, I would have said the same thing. This is a warning sign I take it?
There is a lot more to this story that makes me believe hi is not the typical JW, I dont want to post all the details in fear of the wrong person reading it b/c I am absolutly positive there is no other story exactly like mine, but if someone knows about all this JW stuff and wants to hear it to help me out, I would greatly appreciate a pm.
Thanks again everyone
If you ask a JW if the Jehovahs Witnesses are a cult they will undeniably state that they are not but they will hastily point to the Catholics and say THEY are. The JWS believe: That they and they ALONE are the ONLY Christians on the planet. Every other "Christian" is considered of "Christendom" and Christendom is solely under the control of the devil as are ALL other religions...in fact ALL non JWs are under Satan. Period. And that includes you my friend so why is this devout JW you are dating hanging around with someone so obviously against his beliefs? There are probably 10 JW women for every JW man available to marry so why is he looking OUTSIDE THE ORGANIZATION for a mate unless he secretly is against the kind of women this cult produces? Mindless, subservient, blathering, bland personalities? The JWs believe that God hears ONLY their prayers and nobody elses on the planet. Zip nada. They believe that when Armageddon comes (the date for which they have predicted many many times obviously wrongly) that they and THEY ALONE will be in the Paradise on earth that is supposed to follow, with everyone else on the planet suffering a horrible death at the hands of God himself, all of them being left as food for the birds. Nice image huh? Yeah. They believe that holidays including Fourth of July, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Birthdays and anything in between are satanic and pagan and even though he's putting on these airs to please you right now to keep you in the picture, after you are married and he takes on his ROLE as head of the HOUSEHOLD missy...forget about celebrating ANY of that. And short of allowing you to actually have a Christmas tree, he will be filling your childrens heads with the evils of Christmas and how mommy is evil because she brings demonic pagan Christmas symbols into the house and that they should get baptized and be servers of Jehovah and SHUN MOMMIE so they can be in paradise with Daddy. Your children will not be able to say the pledge of allegiance. They will not be able to make holiday crafts at school and will be sent out of the room when there are parties. They will be treated like oddballs at school. They will not be allowed to join sports, cheerleading, or band if they dare to play things like the national anthem or march to patriotic tunes or to have practice or concerts that would interfere with them going to meetings, going out door to door or studying with Daddy. They will be encouraged to NOT go to college because college is EVIL and to not take that promotion, or advancement at work because that would be materialistic and the extra hours would interfere with meeting attendance. The elders will be watching him very closely and be putting pressure on him to take control of his household or never be given the opportunity to advance in the JW organization and for a guy thats huge pressure to comply. And if you dont join the JWs, the JWs will continue to invite your husband and your children and not you to JW gatherings further increasing the gap between you, even encouraging him to perhaps go to singles get togethers and telling him you are a spiritual endangerment to him and the kids and he should leave you. I have met MANY JW women online since leaving the JWs in 1997 who have had their children kidnapped by the JWs and taken over state lines and not seen them for years. Dont think for a minute you might be the exception. Still waters run deep.
And...ALL Jws are "nice"...til you cross them.
You think Im kidding? We have all LIVED THIS nightmare honey. Its real. Its as real as that screen your eyes are popping out of staring at. Its REAL.
Educate yourself about the JWs. Ask HIM the direct questions, pursue your thirst to find out the facts about this religion. My guess is he will see that you arent going to just walk into living with him forever before finding out who you REALLY will be sleeping with.
caution...CAUTION...do not let your heart lead you in this or it will be forever broken.
Loves
If he said he loves more Jehovah than you, yes it is a warning sign. For JWs, their organisation (The Watchtower) equals God (they wont admit it). This organisation is ruled by old crooks in Brooklyn but at lower levels from the elder in your boyfriends congregation. If the elders decides they dont like you they could 'advice' him to not see you anymore. For him it would mean that Jehovah as decided by the means of his terrestrial organization ruled by the governing body (the cult leaders) who appointed Elders in his congregation. So if he loves more Jehovah (the organisation) than you, then you are on the looser side and the JW cult has total control on your relatioship. Sad isnt it :( Joff
Welcome to the forum.
NO! If he just wants you to 'read' with him, he is already hopeful that he can lead you to "the truth". He may be very sincere in his love for you, but he is a dedicated witness, goes to all the meetings. . .he is assuming you will bow to peer pressure before kids are an issue. He may not think he is being dishonest with you, but their whole goal is to bring people into the organization, and he will be 'reasoning from the scriptures' with you until your brain is turned inside out with the convoluted teachings. Don't fall for it.
He may be 'perfect in every way' but this is a recipe for disaster. If he was Catholic and you were Episcolpalian, it could work. If one was Baptist and another a Methodist, it could work. But JWs believe that everyone who is NOT JW is going to be destroyed at Armageddon. EVERYONE, including your children! How can you believe that this man who says he loves you now will allow his children to be part of a world that he thinks will result in their eventual destruction by Jehovah God? There is no way.
He is counting on you being malleable and giving in to his religious teachings and getting baptised. No matter what he says. I was raised a JW and I know how they think. That he even dates you and considers marriage with you indicates to me that he may not be totally under the WT mind think, but once he is married-he will be pressured like crazy. He *may*(not sure how the cong. would react to his marrying you) also be disfellowshipped, which could be a blessing or a curse-because if he DOES really believe all that, then he will be devastated, and YOU will be the focal of his disappointment.
You really need to understand all the implications. Theres more, but I don't want to give you nightmares. You might want to check out http://www.youtube.com/confirm_email?cid=FFCD69098CA4A53C and hear quotes of what the WT org. teachings are about non-JWs (all of them) and think about how that would translate in a marriage relationship.
Some welcome. I am sorry I sound harsh, but marriage is hard enough!
***The blood transfusion thing, he already said that on his medical, I would be have to deny him getting a blood transfusion, whatever, personal reasons, don't understand why, but you can bet i would not let my kids die if I could prevent it, so no, to answer that question, I would not be ok with my children not being allowed medical attention in that matter.***
You would risk your future children's lives on "if I could prevent it"????? If you're delayed getting to the hospital and it's just him and your child, HE WILL LET YOUR CHILD DIE.
And if it's you unconscious and bleeding to death in the ER, HE WILL LET YOU DIE TOO.
I'm so not kidding.
