Hi, I'm the non-JW half of a mixed marriage. I can relate perfectly to your dilemma.
I think your boyfriend is of two minds, and he hasn't reconciled them. Ironically, it's envisioning a future with you that is probably triggering the repressed belief system he was born with. In his defence, he probably did not consciously set out to deceive. It's just that, well, JW's are coached to keep the weirdness well hidden from the world. My favorite comments you've received so far:
JWDaughter: but for his own piece [sic] of mind, he needs to determine if being a JW is really what he wants. Then he needs to do it. Or not. And go on with is life. If he wants to be a 'good JW' he ought to marry a REALLY good one that will keep him in line. However, now is a good time for him to examine the religion objectively-since he is out anyway, he has a right to fully investigate before considering going back in.
Narkissos: Your friend has probably reached a painful crisis through which he will have to choose, as you wrote,"between who he is, which is beautiful, and who he thinks he 'should' be".
You are wise to get your boyfriend to face his demons before you get any more involved. If you can do this WITHOUT him starting up a study again, you are 3/4 the way there. I suggest Crisis of Conscience for him, and Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan for you. www.freedomofmind.com Or, if you can afford it, have an exit counsellor familiar with the JW doctrine to spend a few hours talking to your boyfriend. You might be doing him a huge favour.