in love with a very confused jw

by limitless 50 Replies latest social relationships

  • AudeSapere
    i do believe the man is trying to tell me to 'move on' with my damn self...

    I think so, too.


    PS: Have a save trip. It must be torturous to have to wait still another day to leave...

  • hampstead

    has anyone heard from LIMITLESS?? is her bro ok???

  • hampstead

    does anyone know if limitless is ok???

  • limitless

    hey everyone...

    i am alive. am in taiwan. my brother is still in a coma. it's a rollercoaster of ups and downs.

    this is the worst thing that has happened to me in my 33 years and it is not even happening to ME. that being said, my ex has not been a very good friend through any of this.

    there are people who have never claimed to have loved me. they are expressing genuine concern...sending emails, trying to call, offering their help. this man has claimed to have loved me and i get almost nothing. what little has been said by him has been pointless. it's like dealing with a stranger, a walking zombie. he has totally clicked off.

    he is not there for me in any form, least of all as a friend. i will never forgive him for this and do no longer care who he is, how he is, etc. let the watchtower society have him. he wants to be had.

    he no longer exists for me.

    my brother may lie in a coma, but in his state, he is still more alive than my ex will ever be.

    thank you for all of your help, nonetheless. i received much solace from your advice when it was so needed.



  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Sorry to hear about your brother Rachel.

    Healing thoughts are on their way.

    Keep in touch, we care about you both.

    Christian love


  • OnTheWayOut

    Your update on your brother is very rough.

    I wish you love and support. Focus on the true help you receive and
    not on those that are not supportive. You need positivity now.

  • wvpeach

    He's confused, so are we all sometimes, much of the world is confused most of the time.

    I Know a man who attends a Church Of God who is telling his girlfriend the same thing right now as your man has been telling you.

    Thing is he is a good friend of mine. What he is not telling her is he is looking for things to blame his own sin on, in this case its her.

    You know the devil made me do it. If she had not looked so good we would not have had sex and I'd not feel guilty about it now.

    My friend has done this before, I know I saw him. Chances are your man has done this before too.

    My 2 cents for what its worth is dump the guy as a boyfriend once and for all. People like that no matter the denomination they belong to of church's will end up blaming somebody else for thier problems all thier lives.

    The good news is when they stand before God they will not get the chance to blame anybody but themselves. God knows.

    Unless you don't mind being responsible for his misery every time he thinks he's miserable. Dump him and only talk as friends if you fell like it after the sexual tension has disapeared.

  • wvpeach

    So sorry to hear about your brother , update us when you get a chance.

  • Abandoned

    also...when he could have made it clear what his beliefs were, he never did. when my mom asked him what he was doing for christmas, he never said he didn't celebrate christmas. when he talked about not going to college, he never mentioned that it was mainly to do with his beliefs. it's like he kept it all hidden...

    One thing about the indoctrination process of the jw is to learn how to lie without lying. Lying is bad and will lead to destruction but to be a jw, you have to lie. So, instead of lying jw learn how to change subjects and evade and leave someone thinking they received the answer they were looking for without actually saying anything concrete. It is a part of the "bible study" from day one.

    Another aspect of being a jw that plays a part here is the fact that some part of the mind can see the inconsistencies in the religion. Through the watchtower and other publications they are taught how to ignore doubts and replace unsettling thoughts with pleasant ones of the paradise they've carefully painted. But, even with all the indoctrination, there's a part of the brain that knows it's being dishonest.

    This man is not going to change unless he decides to investigate the doubts. If he doesn't he may go back to the jw for awhile and then leave again and go back because his brain has been trained to believe that it's the only religion and that for him to be truly happy, he needs to be do his fair share. If he examines the doubts, he'll see the inconsistencies and can then break free from the indoctrination.

    I've been out for over four years, and up until this year, I KNEW I was an evil and worthless person who was going to be destroyed. It's asinine. It's your choice to do what you want, but my advice is to remember that you can't change anyone that doesn't want to be changed. If you don't mind the uncertainty about his beliefs, if his positive qualities outshine the negative, you may have a great thing here, but there are no guarantees that he'll ever make a complete break from the jw.

  • BabaYaga

    So sorry to hear about your brother (I just found this thread)

    STRENGTH to your brother, you, and the rest of your family. I hope your brother rebuilds soon and is back to his health.

    All the best...

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