by Afrancis 32 Replies latest jw friends
If I was your mum, id say id had a one night stand, (she doesnt have to actually do the deed) get reproved or DF and then go back sit on the back row for 6 months (if she can stomach it)
Shes already wasted 6 years of her life, how much longer is she going to wait for THEM to decide if he can get it up or not
This is the most ridiculous suituation ive heard and ive heard a few.
As another contributor here brought out, even evidence that a man and woman had spent the night together "under improper circumstances" can be used to find a JW guilty of immorality. But I know that it does not always bring a guilty finding.
I remember a case in which a somewhat mentally impaired woman had moved into a man's home for awhile because of having nowhere else to go. The elders involved looked at the situation pretty closely. It seemed clear to them (for a variety of reasons) that this woman and this man were not at all likely to be having sex. The chairman of that committee--himself a heavy hitting JW often used in appeals cases--made the statement...
"Just because an elder body can use this as grounds for fornication doesn't mean they must do so. In the absence of any other evidence that they are living "improperly," even though this arrangement is to be discouraged, we cannot take away her freedom to use her own conscience in this matter."I remember feeling somewhat refreshed by this statement, since it seemed so different from typical JW puritanism. And now, remembering his words, "freedom of conscience," I have to wonder: how long before he leaves this legalistic organization?
If there was a Best Of thread for Utterly Ridiculous Things Elders Have Done Or Said, this would definitely belong. And on the How They're Ruining People's Lives thread too. I'm so sorry for your mum.
Yes, I understand why you're losing interest. I hope your mum does too and realises what her life is worth before she thinks she's put too much of it behind her.
This is crazy. I couldn't drive an elderly sister home at night without a chaperone for fear of being called up to a JC.
Exactly! There only has to be evidence that two people of the opposite sex (no matter how broad their age differences) entered a private residence or car for them to brought to the judicial to explain themselves so I don't really buy this story. And I remember late nights having to accompany my dad taking my mum;s bible studies home from meetings on school nights when I was 5 so that I could be the chaperone. Its no wonder i have grown up totally insecure and don't like my other halves being alone for any reason with other females - but I am getting over that gradually because its ridiculous and insane!
Good grief. I can't believe they bought that line of crap.
I like Satanus' suggestion that the ex-wife should move in with another man who is also impotent. Let's watch how fast the double standard works.
tell her to move on, get married if she can and repent, be on restriction for six months and move on with her life.
I love the "impotent man" approach, too. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. Your mom deserves to move on and be happy. Tell her that from me, a woman who waited far too long. AND she should marry whoever she likes, JW, non-JW, freckled, striped, or wrinkled.
I guess that means your mother could move in with an 'impotent' man and avoid trouble as well.
A similar thing happened in my congregation. A sister walked in on her husband naked in bed with another woman. He claimed he had not had sex with her, so the elders (and their beloved 2 witness rule) said that she had no grounds for divorce. She ended up having to stalk him and photo him in the act in order to get a 'scriptural' divorce.
Speaking frankly, even if your dad was impotent he wouldn't need an erection to bring his mistress to orgasm so the whole elder situation is ludicrous.
One in ten males in the UK suffers some form of erectile dysfunction - but they can be helped by viagra-type drugs (viagra isn't considered user friendly these days due to side effects and so newer drugs have been developed). In other words, if you're dad genuinely does have impotence check his pockets!!
Ian
Just remembered another experience.
My best friend was a gay alcoholic. They could never prove drunkeness but really wanted to disfellowship him. One night a sister stayed over at his house because she had some drinks and was worried about getting caught for drink driving. The elders disfellowshipped him for apparent immorality, simply on the basis of the impression he gave by having a sister sleep as his house. It shows disfellowshipping is up to the whim of the elders and who they like or want to eliminate.
It shows disfellowshipping is up to the whim of the elders and who they like or want to eliminate.
Let's be honest here, a guy who pleads impotence wouldn't reveal any juicy bits to a JC. Elders only want to listen to really juicy sex scandals. It's their kick for the month!
Ian
