YOUR LAST MEETING.........................

by vitty 87 Replies latest jw friends

  • VanillaMocha73

    My Last Meeting Two "last meetings." Last meeting I attended because I was "supposed to." The brothers told me how important it was for me to attend all the meetings, even though I would have to quit a job and cease eating in order to do so. Dummy me - I did it. I was still in the "abuse me" stage of life. After this, they never did seem to "get around" to talking to my df committee. My last meeting I was pale, had two black eyes, and was in extreme chest pain. I could barely walk down the aisle to my seat. Nobody cared. My worldly co-workers took one look at me the next morning and dialed 911 - they sent people to make sure I got home and was going to be cared for. Weren't my "brothers and sisters" and "shepherds who tenderly care for their flock" supposed to care more than the worldy people? By their fruits you will know them - that they have love..... I can not picture Jesus ever displaying that kind of attitude and action. Sometime after that, I went to hear my son's Bible Reading - my first trip back to the KH where I was originally disfellowshipped. It was a blast (in an evil sorta way). I sat in the appropriate disfellowshipped row - right beside another df'd brother whom I had grown up with and who also had marriage problems - complete coincidence. I could just see the tongues wagging on that one!!! I looked the brothers who had df'd me right in the eyes and gave them big grins. They didn't know what to do, they totally refused to meet my eyes. I watched the elder argue with my ex-husband that he had to take my section for mike duty (as opposed to the other three sections) and they made him stand right beside me, which I felt was overly cruel. My real friends in the KH came running across the hall to give me hugs after the meeting - to hell with being disfellowshipped. That totally threw the elders into a tizzy. And I walked out with my head held high. I am tempted to return to the meetings in my old KH just to be a brat!!!! (My ex pitched a total fit about my ever coming there again.) List of what I would do: a) sit right beside one of my "favorite" three elders every meeting b) look them right in the eyes with a broad smile c) sing as loudly as possible d) ask for reinstatement every single meeting, loudly e) make barely audible "under my breath" comments about every wrong thing I hear - "1935.. another OTA date." (out of thin air) f) joyfully greet every unbaptized new visitor Originally I was attending my Christian church at 0845 and the KH at 1000a - trying to play both games. I caught myself so uplifted from the real Christian church that I could not fight with myself to attend the "church of condemnation." Sitting through the self-glorification and lies is both amusing and sickening.

  • sf

    Welcome "a-board" Vanilla Mocha.

    Incidently, I cannot drink my morning cup of coffee without Vanilla Nut creamer.

    VanillaMocha sounds even better though!


  • VanillaMocha73

    That is a VERY dangerous policy. The first time I went to the elders about my abusive husband, they sent a ministerial servant to sit on our couch and ask if he hit me. Of course, he said "no" - the front door closed behind the MS and..... it don't take rocket science to figure that one out. I was 18 years old and in total shock and confusion. Some years later, a sister witnessed my husband attacking me at the DC. She went to our PO, who called me in. I begged him not to pursue the same course that happened before. He promised me that he wouldn't. One week later, the District Overseer sat on my couch and asked my husband if he abused me. The front door closed behind him and I bet the brothers never even wondered why they did not see me for two weeks... My mother tried to approach the brothers with literature from DSHS about domestic violence and they told her that "that is not the way Jehovah handles things."

  • serendipity

    Hi vanillamocha & welcome!

  • Old Goat
    Old Goat

    Dear Vanilla,

    I'm so sorry for the abuse and the elders' poor judgment. One of the worst problems Jehovah's Witnesses face is the anti-intellectualism fostered by those in power. We don't educate our elders effectively. An occasional Kingdom Ministry Course doesn't provide what elders need. This isn't 1943 any more. The Theocratic Ministry School doesn't do for us what it did in the 1940s or even in the 1960s. The world is a much more complex place, and our needs are more complex as well.

    Isn't it time the Governing Body address this problem? Provide us with a real Bible education. Test the elder's judgment! Look at what we do now: We rely on the "word" of other elders who may have no better judgment than the person that they're recommending. We rely on the occasional visit of a Circuit Overseer who probably doesn't really know the brother being recommended. We don't educate these brothers in any real sense. We don't really test them as to fitness first. Rather than facing up to it, we cover it over by suggesting that the education we do receive equates to a college education. Hogwash!

    This lack of education and insight is hurting us. Let's put the blame where it belongs. The brothers and sisters in congregations do not make these decisions. The Governing Body and their assistants do.

  • VanillaMocha73

    So, should I waste my time going back to the meetings, just to prove a point? It could be entertaining, but every time I walk through the doors, I feel like I'm being beaten and demeaned all over again.

  • tetrapod.sapien

    at my last meeting, i had a huge big smile on my face, and spoke cheerily with everyone i liked. one buddy asked me, "wow, what's up?" and i said "i have never been happier.', and left it at that. and it was the truth too. the next week they announced my DA. blind-sided everyone.

    i also remember being pretty angry too, to myself, listening to all the shit spewing forth from the speaker, via the "GB" via the "holy spirit" via "jebus" via "yhwh". it was really weird sitting there thinking that here i had wasted my entire life listening to large craniumed, hairless apes, in suits, with god complexes. saved me from wasting any time as a born again.


  • atypical

    amen, tetra-god.

    My last meeting - I had not been attending for awhile but I decided to go because my father-in-law had the public talk. I showed up with a big goatee and a nice suit. I had to sit in my truck trying to get my breathing under control so I could walk in without looking like a wreck. I barely made it through the talk and left and never went back. It was like a huge dose of all the bad feelings I had been enduring there for years.

  • p717

    A Circuit Assembly in summer of 1991. I was treated like an untouchable, and spend the better part making a woman twice my age who was studying with someone else feel welcomed. She couldn't find the woman she was studying with, and no one was talking to her either. I was thinking of how badly this reflects on the Society. The breaking point was when I was standing in a food line to get some items for the both of us, and the young people in front of me (roughly my age at the time) looked at me like I was total trash, even started physically distancing themselves like the high school rich kid cliques. They didn't know me from Adam, and they were passing a non-verbal judgement like "Worldly" people do. AFter the assembly, I wished the (unlikely) sister-to-be luck in her town, and as I was leaving I noticed a large group of people my age (including those I encountered in the lunch line) using the bathrooms to change into "Worldly, summer fun rich college hipster) clothes - and it struck me as odd that they didn't even have the respect to go home or to the motel to change before recreation. That was pretty much the mark for me that this whole institution was nothing more than a fraternity that favors the well-to-do (those who have the luxury of time to devote to the services and spare capital to donate).

  • frozen one
    frozen one

    My last meeting was a school/service meeting during the summer of 1994. I had just moved to town and decided to go to the local hall even though I knew my beliefs in all things jw were barely hanging by a thread. I don't remember much from that night. I remember that the hall was pretty large (actually two halls in one building) but the crowd was small. The attendees seemed to be a rather listless bunch. I remember an elder on the platform going on a rant about birth control of all things and saying something about "people will find out at armeggedon who was right." I don't remember what set him off. I was probably daydreaming. The one thing I really remember was loitering around after the final Amen was said thinking that someone would be curious about the stranger in their midst. No one came up to me and introduced themselves and asked about me. After a while it became awkward to be standing there watching people hustle out the door so I left. And that was the end of that.

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