How many ex-jws move out of town to start over?

by rebel8 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    I moved & stayed in one place...and faded, before I knew that term.

    The small Texas town (10,000) I lived in had only 1 good elder out of 6. When my family was in crises (separation) they did nothing. After awhile I got sick of watching the same hypocritical elders standing at the podium assuring the flock of their tender care and love and how they would be glad to 'help' anytime, anywhere.

    I slowed down on meetings and never got any shepherding calls despite my being declared the innocent spouse. I started going to a congregation where another 'good' elder went. Despite his good efforts I was being stone-walled about "jurisdiction". I still lived in the old Congo. 50 miles away, the CO and the Cong. where my wife was, said I had to deal with my original elders.

    Catch 22...those guys would not do anything. So, I eventually stopped going to the new hall after 6 months. That was over 5 years ago and I have never been contacted 'officially' by the elders, the same ones would told both of us (because of unscriptual separation, then divorce) we would be DF if we "messed up" due to "fleshly desires" or if we re-married it would be adultery.

    I remarried very publicly to a non-dub. I invited 200 JW relatives & 'friends' -- not one of them came. Lot's of elders, ms, pioneers, even a few missionary relatives. For some reason, I am still not DF/DA, but still avoided by some relatives and shunned by my children.

    Rabbit

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Thanks everyone. Interesting replies!

  • NewYork44M
    NewYork44M

    I don't think that my fade would have been successful without a few strategic moves. Moving maked the fade possible. Without getting out of my original congregation I think I would have "crashed and burned."

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises

    I know one. She is a PO's daughter with a hard core pioneer mother. She had a bad marriage and a bad body of elders that just made a botch of the whole thing. She moved to a completely different state to get away from everyone!

    She now is married to a real nice worldy and has a baby. No df, no da, no local body of elders coming around to pester her.

  • damselfly
    damselfly

    I wish that I had.
    I moving soon to anew province and while I was there this weekend it dawned on me that no one knows who I am there! I won't have the daily shunning from people I had known my whole life.
    Nothing in my new town reminds me of anything, it should be a good stay.

    Dams

  • BritBoy
    BritBoy

    I think what I loved best about my move to another country was the fact that NO ONE knew me.... I was Brit.... Not Brit the jw or x-jw.... I could decide who knew my past and who did not. I was accepted as me, as I presented myself. I loved that and still do.

  • MegaDude
    MegaDude

    I chose to move.

    I liked where I lived and would have been happy to stay there but my wife at that time was a JW and I felt our best shot to save the marriage was to get out of town.

    Over the time we both became entrenched in our positions: me very ex-JW, she pro-JW.

    She went back to where we moved from. Divorce ensued.

    It was good for both of us. I met the people I needed to meet here, careerwise and spiritualwise I couldn't have been in a better place. I was just musing about this today how well my move up here to Dallas worked out for me.

    And as for the ex, I think she is quite happy being a JW. Everybody should be free to make their own choices.

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    We did exactly that. We moved next to our son who left the jw's 15 years ago. We moved out of state. Our other son moved out of state also. He has his own business and is happily married to a beautiful woman who gave us our first grandson. I have the same work that I left behind in the other state. How refreshing to not have to deal with the "WE MISS YOU!' "WE LOVE YOU!" over and over, again and again. All we need to know about the jw's is found right here on this site. No regrets at all.

    Blueblades

  • clarity
    clarity

    I wonder that too!

    Certainly a subject that crosses a lot of minds on here.

    To move away from all the negativity or stay and put up with the nonesense?

    Three pages of good discusion .......... enjoy this oldie

    clarity

  • Balaamsass
    Balaamsass

    We moved 45 minutes away..but a well meaning jw relative passed along our address to the new "local" hall and we have been pestered by the P.O. for a "meeting". We should have moved further away or bought the P.O. box sooner. $26.00 return address for peace of mind. Big dummy here.

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