How many ex-jws move out of town to start over?

by rebel8 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • rebel8

    I was wondering how common it is for ex-jws to relocate after leaving the borg in order to escape the bad memories of being in a cult, or to break contact with cult members.

    I have wanted to move far away for as long as I can remember--even as a kid--for this purpose. Various life circumstances have delayed that--long story--but Mr. Rebel8 and I are thinking of moving within the next few years. I am the one who's most interested in moving to a completely different type of place--different culture, different climate, different everything! I now live on a different end of town than I did when I was a practicing jw, but it isn't far enough away for me. I hate going to the store and passing by places I used to go in field service try to recruit new cult members.

    Despite the fact that most of my ex-cult healing is done, I just don't like the sour memories popping up. I do not want to live the rest of my life in WT NY State.

    (Off topic: I propose a resolution to the forum that we cease capitalizing "jw" because it gives undue respect to an organization that doesn't deserve it. Anyone ready to second the motion?)

  • carla

    I second the motion! (not sure if I usually capitalize anyway)

  • littlerockguy

    I had moved out of town after I started my fade to try to figure out who I was. When I left I still believed that it may be the truth but I wanted to avoid "shepharding calls" and "concerned brothers and sister" stopping by to "encourage" me not on a casual basis but just happened to be in the neighborhood out in service, which made me even more pissed off. I lived in a small town with a population less than 10K with 2 congregations in it and everbody in town knew everybody else, not a place desirable for a JW who just happends to be gay.

  • Ironhead

    I propose a resolution to the forum that we cease capitalizing "jw" because it gives undue respect to an organization that doesn't deserve it. Anyone ready to second the motion?

    I totally agree!

    On Monday I'm going to ask my employees for a transfer. They're looking for staff to work in this particular city, and are willing to help staff with their move finacially. It's the only way to get on with my life after leaving my jw wife at lunch time today. I'm staying with my mother ( non jw ) at the time of writing.


  • rebel8

    Wow, you're leaving your wife today, Ironhead? Are you ok?

    Hope all is well.

  • jschwehm

    My wife and I both agree that the best decision we ever made was to leave LA where we were well known as JWs and move out of state. It really did help us to rebuild our lives.

    Jeff S.

  • serendipity

    I'm going to 'take a break' coincident with my move. Whether that turns me into an ex, remains to be seen.

  • garybuss

    Every time I ever wanted to change zip codes, I found what I really needed was a travel vacation. Three to four weeks is about right. I'm always glad to return home. I have two sons and my grandson here. I wouldn't move from them. I would move to warmer climates for a couple months in the winter . . . be a snowbird . . . but return in the spring like the geese.

  • parakeet

    My husband and I moved to a different state for non-JW, oops! non-jw reasons, about 4 years after I faded. It's been very pleasant not to constantly bump into nose-in-the-air dubs all the time or to listen to other dubs' obviously insincere protestations about how much they miss me. I think I reached a sense of "normalcy" more quickly than I would have had I remained in the same area.

  • greendawn

    It's a drastic move to change residence and relocate far away but if it will help to clear away any remaining jw influences why not? It may be a good idea to check out the place of relocation to make sure that it is suitable eg climate, local culture, cost of living etc

    For me it would be no problem staying in the same jw associated place because I put plenty of emotional distance between me and them.

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