new too

by RaceBannon 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • juni

    Welcome Race to the board. You do what you think is best for you. I took control of my life and DA myself. I feel the only way to stop the game is not to play it, you know?

    Best to you and look forward to more posts by you.


  • Legolas

    Welcome to the board!

    If you have to leave them...Do it on 'YOUR' terms...Disassociate yourself!

  • sass_my_frass

    Hi Race; welcome to the board and to newbie week!

    Okay, reverse the genders and I was in your shoes a year ago. I let my parents do a real number on me; after telling them I'm marrying my beloved they got right into my head and talked me into confessing to the elders. It was inevitable that I'd be disfellowshipped, and it was a few months before I could get my head around all the insanity again. Now I think, well on the one hand, I'm spewing that I gave them all that control. I should have realised that I don't want their crazy life and just not played their games; don't call the elders, don't go to any meetings they set up with me. Just let them do their silly thing without even taking an interest. But then I wouldn't have learned the duplicitous and heartless things they do to retain control of the flock, and one day I might have fallen for it all again.

    Anyway, the point is that it's your life. Do you know where you're headed, or at least have you made a decision as to whether they have the truth? Because it gets a lot easier when you've realised that they're bollocks.

  • serendipity

    HI Race and welcome! Tell Johnny & Hadjii I said hello.

  • Poztate
    Why do you say I can't be df'd if away for 3 years. I have never heard that.

    There is NO TIME LIMIT on when they can come after you. I would suggest you not give them the satisfaction of appearing before a JC.

    Since you are "living in sin" and don't plan on changing or returning to the "truth"™ the answer will be the same. They will announce that "you are no longer one of jehovah's witnesses" The announcement will be the same if you DA"ed or were DF'ed so I can't see how it would give much extra satisfaction to you to DA yourself.

    My advice...IGNORE THEM.They only have the power that you choose to give them. They HATE to be ignored.


    P.S. They don't actually disfellowship anyone anymore. They announce them as "no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses". And they can do that whether you meet with them or not.

    They don't call it disfellowshiping any more becaue of legal issues.They also no longer read out the grounds for DF'ing as they used to but make no mistate the end result of the announcement"no longer one of jehovah's witnesses" is still a DF or DA statement and you will be treated as such.

  • TresHappy

    I love Johnny Quest - my favorite cartoon, and Race Bannon was such a hunk!

    Welcome to the board!

  • Virgochik

    Just my opinion, but... if you go, they'll ask you a lot of nosy questions, and pry into your personal business. Why would a grown man of thirty let these guys disrespect him like that? Will your fiance appreciate their intrusion into your privacy?

    Glad you came to the board. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best, and hope you stay awhile!

  • parakeet

    If you plan on severing your ties with the JWs completely, don't attend their little JC kangaroo court. They want you there so they can ask their salacious questions about your personal life, then try, convict and sentence you on the spot. They love doing this--it makes them feel "spiritually" superior. And the upshot will be your getting booted out the door anyway. It's a no-win situation for you, and a sick thrill for them.
    My advice is when they call to set up a JC meeting, refuse to go. If they threaten dire actions (DFing, etc.), tell them that if they make a public announcement about you, you will sue them for slander. Then tell them to get lost.

  • jwfacts

    Welcome to the board.

    It is very tough in your situation but as you read through the stories of others it will help you recover bit by bit.

    You can be disfellowshipped for not attending a judicial committe ( it is considered loose conduct as you are disrespecting the elders) I would go but not confess anything to the elders. Just say you have a worldly girlfriend, what is wrong with that? Moses had a non Israelite wife and Solomon had hundreds of wives that did not worship Jehovah. Do not confess to any sexual petting, etc etc. It will put them in a pickle.

    I tend to agree that being disfellowshipped is the best way for closure. In the jc you can then start brining up apostate ideas if you really want to be cut off. To be disfellowshipped on the basis of apostasy is far better reputation to have.

  • MsMcDucket
    Some friend say I should just stay away and not let them disfellowship me... HELP!

    Do your thing man! Get away from them whichever way is best for you.

    Why do all you new guys have super hero names?

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