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by RaceBannon 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • RaceBannon

    I am one confused dude and need serious therapy. Leaving is very tough. My family are in a life and death race to save me before "the end". I have been away for a couple years but still cling a little bit to a few JW friends - very few left now. My family is freaked out because now I have a "wordly" girlfriend. Oh the horror.

    I have agreed to meet the elders and tell them my sins, after which I expect to be disfellowshipped. Its all so crazy but it had to come to this. Some friend say I should just stay away and not let them disfellowship me... HELP!

  • candidlynuts

    hi race welcome!

    a few questions to help you think..

    are you an adult?

    do you think your relationship with your girlfriend is "sinful" and wrong?

    do you really want to invite the elders into your life to judge your relationship with your girlfriend?

    step back and look at your relationship...would you condemn any of your friends for having a girlfriend?

    if you go to the elders your telling them and your family that you still submit to their authority.

  • Es

    Welcome to the board, glad you found us.

    How long have you been out, if its more than three years they cant D\F you, I know its hard ive been there myself, I have left family and friends behind, and yes it hurts and it takes time for that hurt to go away.

    But i tell you what i love my freedom, and i love my new life, and the only thing that upsets me now is that i wish i had of done it sooner.

    All the best


  • wednesday
    How long have you been out, if its more than three years they cant D\F you

    hi, 3rd generation jws inactive jws here, and never heard that rule

  • ajsmama

    Hello RaceBannon!! I was never a jw, but made the mistake of getting engaged to one.

    When his family found out he had a worldly girlfriend, he was called to meet with the elders, and was disfellowshiped.

    I could Never understand why he would let these fools not only judge him, but to judge our relationship as well. It led to alot of problems and me with the feeling that he thought that we were something to be ashamed of.

    If I were you I would never do that to her, or to yourself. You should never have the feeling of having to answer for choosing to lead your life the way you wish!!!!

    All the best, Christine

  • RaceBannon

    I am very much an adult - over 30. I think I want to be disfellowshipped so I an get closure, rather than disassociating.

    Why do you say I can't be df'd if away for 3 years. I have never heard that.

  • Cellist

    Welcome to the board. And, welcome to life.


    P.S. They don't actually disfellowship anyone anymore. They announce them as "no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses". And they can do that whether you meet with them or not.

  • inbyathread

    Welcome to the board Race. There is no time frame for elders to convine a JC for the common publisher. It's only if an ELDER can hide his own sins for several years. He will not lose his position or privileges.

    It use to be that marriage to a non-JW resulted in a DF that is not the case today. The elders will counsel you on the problems associating with yokeing with an un-believer. If you invite them into your home, you are only playing their game with their rules. You cannot win. Please please, just thank them for showing concern but state that you have your life and sprituality under control. They will try but don't let them get into a debate about authority of the elders or the Faithful and Discreet Slave (FDS) over you. Good Luck and hope you stick around.

  • purplesofa

    hey race.......... of my favorite cartoons!!!!

    Race was so .........well......he is just a cartoon


  • Axelspeed

    The first question I would ask you is do you still believe in the JW beliefs? Do you want to return? ...and why? Because of family pressure?
    It is seriously not worth it. Just walk away, dont look back and enjoy your life. I would seriously re-consider subjecting yourself to that kind of humiliating tribunal. The only power these guys have is what you give them.
    If you are having doubts, but still not sure there is a lot a reading you can do to allay your fears. A good site to start with is, and then plenty of books (Crisis of Conscience, or something like Orwell's 1984 -- a book nothing about JWs but yet everything about JWs)

    Stick around.


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