My mom is stepping up her not-so-subtle mind games with kids.

by ithinkisee 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • misanthropic
    Naturally I am fuming mad about it, but my mom will not return my calls. I wanted to talk to her personally about it, but I guess if she doesn't return my call today I will leave it in voicemail that she is not to send that kind of stuff again. If she chooses to keep sending it it will be returned to her unopened. She has ONE more chance.

    Good, I'm glad you're putting your foot down about it, hopefully she'll get the point.

  • In Between
    In Between

    It seems to me like a 'control' issue. She can't control you anymore, so she's going after the kids.

    I see similar stuff like this with my mom and my kids. She knows she can't do anything about me, so the one 16 year old, that lives with his mother, gets all the 'extra' attention because he's the only one attending a K.H.

    Sorry to hear about your stresses. Hang in there. The family break-ups that I have seen because of this faith is alarming.

  • Sparkplug

    Ithinkisee- I would be fuming mad. My mom always tries to sneak a little witness in to them, and they smile and are polite because they had better be. Then they wait till out of my sight or hers and giggle away. But at least they were respectful to her.

    I let my brother that lives here take them all the time. (But he is a really bad witness and will not shove anything down their throat) He tried to give them some stuff once, but they believed it all was from a cult before I did even. When my sister sends them JW books, or used to they just file them away never to be read just to be nice. Though.. I did bust them cracking on the younge peopl ask book. It was so funny.

    My daughter will wear a cross to his house just to freak him out, even though she is an atheist I think. she says she is, so I will go with that. My son is an atheist most assuredly.

    My point is I think it is how well the kids get a clear perspective from you too. They are not fooled easy nowadays.

  • sass_my_frass

    I think you two are amazing; and congratulate you on protecting your kids. I'm sure you've thought of this but I'm curious... well to sum up I'm angry with my mum for not letting me get close to my grandparents - she started studying when I was a baby and moved to the edge of the city where we wouldn't see them much. I love them now and can't see them enough, and it's just another of those things I resent my mother for.

    Are your kids 'allowed' to see their grands, do they miss them? I know that this kind of thing is going to be hard to control, and not one of the biggest priorities. But if I was say, you or Es, I'd be making it clear to my parents that they can see the kids, as long as I'm there too. I wouldn't leave them alone for a minute, and I'd do some intense deprogramming afterwards.

    But hey I don't have kids, so ignore me. Keep it together loves.

  • jwfacts

    Send her letters back unopened with RETURN TO SENDER.

    My mother refused to contact me last time she was in town, but rang my wife and wanted to make a time to meet with her. I was very upset and asked my wife not to. My mother said to my wife how shocked she was and couldn't understand why I felt like that. JWs loose all sense of respect of decency.

  • freedomlover


    **Are your kids 'allowed' to see their grands, do they miss them? ***

    It's funny because of course they miss them, but they have been busy with new activities and making new friends. As soon as those *wonderful* pics my mom-in-law sent got to my oldest (she saw the package on the porch - we couldn't hide it all) well, those pics made her cry. Just the effect my mom-in-law was hoping for!!!! (She hasn't cried once yet for her old friends or family)

    Fact is, my MIL and her hubby were up here a few months ago, (doing work for about a month) and never once called the kids to see them. Yet she sends them these letters about how much she loves and misses them. IT's SO SICK!! I won't let my kids be exposed to her tactics. The other thing that really hurts is she sends stuff for them and completely ignores our existence. I won't allow someone to set that example. So, no. She won't see the kids unless she stops her cooky indoctrination tactics.

    I told hubby that when he talks to her let her know that as far as I'm concerned if she ever speaks to me again - the conversation better start with an apology from her or I'm not interested in talking to her. She WAY overstepped her boundaries IMO.


    Wow... JW psychological abuse at work. Sorry to hear that your kids were put in the middle like this by your mom Ithink. She is probably just using them to get to you and your wife.

  • Balsam

    My oldest son has a little boy by his girlfriend. My beautiful grandson in in my picture here. My ex-husband the father of my children have been to the birth of the Ayden. But Heather is fearful that any assoication with JW's by her son could cause him to be a JW. I've told her so long as he is a little one it likely won't have any affect on him. But as he gets big enough to talk then it can be a problem because the first word they will try to force him to say will be Jehovah and start pushing the religion into his mind. But I don't think they have much interest in Ayden anyway and that is good. I love him and have everytime I can. It is a concern though not allowing grandparents to undermind the parents especially when you've left the JW's.

    Seen other JW grandparents pull that stuff on their disf'ed kids by turning the grandkids against them.

  • ithinkisee

    She is still not returning my calls. I finally left a voicemail with the details. We'll see what happens.

    This is what I said:

    Hey mom. I'm not sure if you left your phone back home or whatever, but I wanted to talk to you.

    Since I am not getting any return calls I wanted to let you know that all future mailings to [child name] and [child name] will be returned to you unopened, unless you call so we can clear some things up.

    All of your subtle and not-so-subtle jabs at us as parents have been duly noted and we will have no more of it.

    You stepped way over the line mom. I was originally going to call and give you one last chance to send something to the girls that was genuine and not passive-aggressive, but after the little note dropped out of [child name]'s book I know there is no limit to what you will do. I remember all too well as I was growing up the guilt you heaped on us.

    So it ends now.

    If you would like to remain in contact with the girls (which I think as a grandparent you should), you need to call me first.

    It sucks to have to say all this and I'm sure you are just listening and shaking your head in that condescending manner that you do. Just remember I do love you, but you are not their parents. We are.

    You can call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx.[child name]

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    way to go ITIS.

    Very,very cool.


Share this