My mom is stepping up her not-so-subtle mind games with kids.

by ithinkisee 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • ithinkisee
    ithinkisee

    My mom and her new husband (robo-elder with GB connections) have been trying to undermine us as parents so I have been on the offensive stopping it.

    We recently left to another state to get away from the JWs.

    She has been sending letters to my oldest daughter about the assembly. There was a demo at the assembly about how a kid didn't listen to his non JW dad and decided instead to be a JW. She wrote about it in the letter to my daughter. My daughter will not get the letter until she is older.

    Yesterday we got a big collage of pictures from where they live. She sends them from time to time to let us know how much "fun" they are having and they wish we were there. One of the collages is of the district convention (yuck!). She put the convention program in the collage too and highlighted the part on "Avoiding an independant spirit" and also put the tract in the collage that they distributed before the convention - and in the little coupon on the back for a FREE HOME BIBLE STUDY she put my daughter's names and address in it!

    There were also pictures of their newly remodeled home office and all the pictures of family members were there - except our family.

    Naturally I am fuming mad about it, but my mom will not return my calls. I wanted to talk to her personally about it, but I guess if she doesn't return my call today I will leave it in voicemail that she is not to send that kind of stuff again. If she chooses to keep sending it it will be returned to her unopened. She has ONE more chance.

    Just felt like I needed to document this somewhere.

    -ithinkisee

  • blondie
    blondie

    Oooh, ithinkisee, she plays dirty and is a coward to boot. My husband checks the mail for sneaky crap from my family. He just shreds it and doesn't tell me 99% of the time. It is always abusive. It's more frightening because these are children.

    Even when I was a "good" JW I never got on the bandwagon about separating non-JW parents from their children unless the parent was a pedophile or physically abusive.

    Blondie

  • Celia
    Celia

    It makes my blood boil to read about such attempts by grandparents to undermine the parental autority of their sons or daughters and to try by all means to get the grandchildren to join their cult.... Why are such grandparents so bent on ruining their grandchildrens' lives, and destroying families ??? If I were you, I would burn these letters and collages. Or perhaps keep them in a safe as proof of their attempts at inculcating their grandchildren.

  • Lo-ru-hamah
    Lo-ru-hamah

    ithinkisee:

    I feel your pain. My husband and I have a similar problem with his family. It is very annoying that they feel the need to undermine us as parents. Sorry you have to go through this. They don't understand that they would get farther with kindness but that doesn't happen.

    Loruhamah

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Recently my JW hubby and I began seeing a therapist. Maybe some of her advice might help. Remember HOW MUCH YOU WALKED AWAY WITH. You have your wife, your children. You did a heroic job keeping that together. Your wife is an amazingly wise woman who made the better choice.

    Reminding yourself of your richness every day will take the sting away, a bit, for what you are losing.

    Silly mom.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Sorry to hear about the games, that sucks.

    Let me say again how happy I am for you that you were able to get out with YOUR family...the one that really loves you.

    WLG

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    ITIS:

    Is there a chance you could intercept the mail for all the kids? And then express to your mom somehow that she is not to be sending mail like that?

    She is showing such disrespect to you as head of the house (the jdubs really dig the whole "head of the house" authority thing).

    Just a thought.

    Best wishes to you and FL.

    BSoM

  • truth.ceeker
    truth.ceeker

    Sometimes, it takes a firmer hand, sometimes it takes an underhand, but which ever method it is, you must find one that works, or maybe a combination. For example, you could start sending her tracts on how the witnesses have lied to the people. There are several good ones to choose from. Or you could take newspaper clippings about JW pedophiles or court cases where the wtbts has been involved where they really shouldn't, etc etc. You could even send her pictures of your children having a wonderful time at a party or other venue. To show her that your children are not missing out on life just because they don't believe what your parents believe. The list goes on. Since you know them best, you would know if any of these suggestions would have any effect.


    ..truth.ceeker..

  • Scully
    Scully
    Yesterday we got a big collage of pictures from where they live. She sends them from time to time to let us know how much "fun" they are having and they wish we were there. One of the collages is of the district convention (yuck!). She put the convention program in the collage too and highlighted the part on "Avoiding an independant spirit" and also put the tract in the collage that they distributed before the convention - and in the little coupon on the back for a FREE HOME BIBLE STUDY she put my daughter's names and address in it!

    Am I the only one who sees the irony in this? Here is your mom, promoting to your daughter to take an "independent spirit" against her parents, contrary to Eph 6:1-3, in order to do her grandmother's bidding. And what does she offer in return? A belief system that is going to take that "independent spirit" away from her. Frankly, I'd RETURN TO SENDER all mail from her and stop phoning her for a while, until she calls you and confronts you about it. Then you can advise her that any interference with your parenting from her or anyone else is going to receive the same reception.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    My mom did that with my husband. I asked her nicely to stop & she didn't. Finally I shredded it and mailed it back to her with a note saying we will no longer accept any mail containing mention of religion in any way/shape/form.....and if she tries it again, we will mark all mail "return to sender" without opening it. She is abiding by that.

    Everyone is different--just an idea for you.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit