From the other side of this equation, as a JW I used to send literature to my neice and nephew, and my sister and her husband tolerated my pushiness as long as they could. 10 years of it. Then at a graduation party, my neice from 8th and my nephew from high school, we had given them each $50 and a Revelation or Live Forever book. Next day we were having family potraits done at my dads and all day long my sister looked...strange to me. She was cold, she looked like she hadnt slept. At the end of the day when they were leaving she called me out to their car and she took the books AND the money and THREW them at me and my husband and said that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES were we to contact her, her husband or her children or their friends, schools or anyone associated with them ever AGAIN. No calls, no mail, no email no NOTHING. She said as long as I was a JW, I was no longer her sister. And she left. She said "and you can KEEP that BLOOD money!"
I thought I was doing what Jehovah wanted me to do...and I categorically stepped over the line where my own family was concerned. She and I were as close as twins growing up and it hurt to my marrow to be apart from her and to know that I had hurt her. Four long years we were solidly separated. I was devastated. Im sure it hurt her so very deeply to do that to me but it needed to be done. It made me really analyze closely what I had exchanged my loving family FOR. Four longgggg years.
When I DAd...I wrote my letter to the elders, my JW husband hand delivered it to them. And I was terrified to do it, but I sent a FAX to my sister to see if it would go through, telling her I had left the JWs, that I missed her, loved her and hoped she would forgive me but that I would understand if she didnt trust me any more. And then I waited...
She faxed me back not even 10 minutes later and said..."I love you. I have waited for this moment. Call me."
And I have to tell you...it was like being BORN again I was sooooo ecstatic with joy at our reunion.
Grandma has everything to lose here. EVERYTHING.
Make sure she understands. Do not mince words. She hasnt. Her message is perfectly clear as yours should be.