My mom is stepping up her not-so-subtle mind games with kids.

by ithinkisee 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    Naturally I am fuming mad about it, but my mom will not return my calls. I wanted to talk to her personally about it, but I guess if she doesn't return my call today I will leave it in voicemail that she is not to send that kind of stuff again. If she chooses to keep sending it it will be returned to her unopened. She has ONE more chance.

    Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

  • carla

    I couldn't agree more! You are being more than generous by giving her even one more chance! You could always send her the UN documents or some other anti literature. God knows you have enough to choose from!

  • parakeet

    Sounds like you have the situation well in hand, ithinkisee. My parents tried similar tactics when my son was small. When I would drop him off for a weekend with my mom, she would tell me she would love to take him to the meeting on Sunday. I cut her off with a "no." I didn't need to explain; she got the message. I was fortunate in that they didn't try to do anything behind my back (at least that I know of!).

  • nelly136

    letters like that used to come to my littlun, i read the first then binned the rest. .......wonder if the poor sod who moved into my house got any after we'd gone.

  • HappyDad


    Yesterday we got a big collage of pictures from where they live. She sends them from time to time to let us know how much "fun" they are having and they wish we were there. One of the collages is of the district convention (yuck!). She put the convention program in the collage too and highlighted the part on "Avoiding an independant spirit" and also put the tract in the collage that they distributed before the convention - and in the little coupon on the back for a FREE HOME BIBLE STUDY she put my daughter's names and address in it!

    There were also pictures of their newly remodeled home office and all the pictures of family members were there - except our family.

    I take it that you are scanning these letters since you said "she will not get the letter til she is older." Why not have your daughter send a letter back stating how much fun she is having in the new location and how much happier she is now, along with a ton of pictures of all the things she is now doing and enjoying.

    Then she should put in the letter how bad she feels that grandma doesn't seem to love her anymore because she doesn't have pictures of your family. Throw some guilt to grandma.


  • mustang
    Sorry to hear about the games, that sucks.

    Ditto, that goes double from me.

    When Jesus mentioned that families would be divided, I felt that he was saying it with regret and that it might be inevitable in some instances; I also feel that hopefully it would be the exception rather than the rule. But JW's seem to take it as a command and a right; it begins to seem that they feel that they must make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    My JW zealot father used to quote about 'honor your father …', 'the first command with a promise'. Then he would pull stunts like lying to 'brothers' near where I lived to get them to try and drag me to the KH.

    I have come to the conclusion that the only thing JW's are at is wearing out their welcome.


  • bebu

    Loved truth.ceeker's thoughts. Why not fight fire with fire?

    Sending them shredded mail like rebel8 did would be a powerful way to make your point, too.

    Hang in there, ITIS.


  • LovesDubs

    From the other side of this equation, as a JW I used to send literature to my neice and nephew, and my sister and her husband tolerated my pushiness as long as they could. 10 years of it. Then at a graduation party, my neice from 8th and my nephew from high school, we had given them each $50 and a Revelation or Live Forever book. Next day we were having family potraits done at my dads and all day long my sister looked...strange to me. She was cold, she looked like she hadnt slept. At the end of the day when they were leaving she called me out to their car and she took the books AND the money and THREW them at me and my husband and said that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES were we to contact her, her husband or her children or their friends, schools or anyone associated with them ever AGAIN. No calls, no mail, no email no NOTHING. She said as long as I was a JW, I was no longer her sister. And she left. She said "and you can KEEP that BLOOD money!"

    I thought I was doing what Jehovah wanted me to do...and I categorically stepped over the line where my own family was concerned. She and I were as close as twins growing up and it hurt to my marrow to be apart from her and to know that I had hurt her. Four long years we were solidly separated. I was devastated. Im sure it hurt her so very deeply to do that to me but it needed to be done. It made me really analyze closely what I had exchanged my loving family FOR. Four longgggg years.

    When I DAd...I wrote my letter to the elders, my JW husband hand delivered it to them. And I was terrified to do it, but I sent a FAX to my sister to see if it would go through, telling her I had left the JWs, that I missed her, loved her and hoped she would forgive me but that I would understand if she didnt trust me any more. And then I waited...

    She faxed me back not even 10 minutes later and said..."I love you. I have waited for this moment. Call me."

    And I have to tell was like being BORN again I was sooooo ecstatic with joy at our reunion.

    Grandma has everything to lose here. EVERYTHING.

    Make sure she understands. Do not mince words. She hasnt. Her message is perfectly clear as yours should be.

    hugs, Loves

  • restrangled

    It is good you have the ability to filter what comes into your house as invasive as it is. My mother did the same thing to us. She lived 2 blocks away. One of my sons was in the boy's choir for the city of xxxxxxx and did a beautiful Christmas performance downtown. They were also sent to Japan to perform. My mother had the nerve to send over and elder and talk to my son about what Jehovah thinks about this, and she on the side lines would make him feel guilty every chance she got, without my knowedgle and/or permission....(mind you she never went to one performance anywhere)

    The choir were all invited to a very prominent donator's house to perform at Christmas time and were treated to a wonderful party and a gift. While there my son threw the gift back at the host saying it was against his religion.

    I have never been so embarrassed. After that he refused to be a part of the choir. He was about 9 or 10 at the time.

    In later years he himself is mortified he was so influenced and at his own behavior prompted by my mother and that elder's visit.

    By the way, when I realized the elder was at my front door talking to my son, I promptly told him this was our family business and we would handle it and I was told I should be listening to my son's conscience.

    The nerve of these people seems to have no end.


  • garybuss

    The single biggest mistake I ever made was to give my Witness relatives access to my sons. I let my dad come into my home and study with my son. How dumb was that? BIG dumb! Today my dad and my son both shun me.

    If I had it to do over, I wouldn't let a practicing Witness within 100 miles of my family. I think my relatives being on the same planet as me is way too close. I'll never trust anyone again, especially relatives.

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