Should you try and call an old dub friend? What if you did?

by gumby 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • Satanus

    I called my jw mom last winter. She didn't hang up, but told me that she doesn't want to talk to me again until i come back to jehoover. I just finished talking to my fundy christian uncle, and he said that if i don't believe that the bible is inerreant, he has nothing more to say. He did, however, say that we could talk again. I tried to contact an old jw friend - couldn't. Haven't bothered w any others since.


  • LDH
    She didn't hang up, but told me that she doesn't want to talk to me again until i come back to jehoover

    I can just *feel* the love!!!!


    Brrr! it's cold in here Class

  • moanzy

    Good luck Gumby!! I sit here cringing thinking about the end result when they hang up on you.


  • gumby
    What would be the point, other than to see whether or not they hang up on you? If they haven't kept in touch, they don't care about what's happened to you.

    The point is, I still consider him my friend and I'd like to say hello.

    I disagree that "they" don't care about us. I'm sure he also would like to speak to me, still remembers old times, and considers those old times often. Him and his wife still have conversations via e-mail. ( rarely) with my wife and he told her 9 my wife) that not many days go by he doesn't still think about gumby. Some of us still have those who care for us, they simply have to play the part.....just like we did.

    Mouthy my sweet granny, I'm not really lonely for old friends, although I think about them still......, and only a handful of them.


  • cabasilas

    I've had a couple of successes in contacting old JW friends. I resigned over 25 years ago so the wound is a bit old. About 5 years ago I contacted an old elder friend and was surprised he would agree to some contact. Religious discussion is usually avoided but we've actually discussed a few points here and there. Our contact is sporatic and is only through email but it's nice to hear from him periodically.

  • Frog

    Hi there Gumby my man,

    I totally hear where you're coming from, I had a few times in the past thought about contacting my ex housemate who is still an active dub. I had known her since I was 13y/o, and we lived together for over 4 years in Melbourne a few years or so back. We were really close, and she was the best housemate I've ever had. We're very different people though, and I knew that once I decided to leave the org that it essentially meant that we no longer had a connection to eachother, except through history. That's the reason why I wasn't totally cut when she moved out of our apartment. I knew that I was close to her on account of our connection in the org, and as sad and unneccessary it was that we should have to part, I just accepted there and then that that's the way it had to be.

    I really honestly think that when you have people in your life like that, that they know in their heart of hearts how you feel about them. So on account of that I just thought it was best just left where it was...

    Having said that though!! A couple of months ago I contacted an old JW mate of mine that I was really close to as a teenager. I had heard that there was a chance that he was no longer active, so I thought I'd take a punt at it. It turns out that he's recenty gone back to the org, had been inactive for a while, and his now engaged to be married at the end of the year. He was really supportive and respectful of my position and stance on things, but at the end of the day it was clear that we had taken very different paths. To be honest I found the whole thing pretty emotional and confusing, and even though I don't regret contacting him, I can only suggest to others considering doing it, to just hang off until such a time as you figure out what it is that you expect from it, because the chances of being disappointed are pretty high.

    I think it's usually just passing moment of nostalgia that inspire those sorts of feelings, which is totally normal, but I think from personal experience that in most situations it's just not really worth it.

    Cool post Gumby man :)) frog x

  • fullofdoubtnow

    One of my best friends in the jws contacted me recently, and we've been in touch since, discreetly for her sake. She has visited a couple of times, and I am expecting to hear from her today. She knows I am da'd, she was in the kh on the night the announcement was made, and she knows I now live with my boyfriend, she knows him well, but she still wants to be my friend. As for contacting others myself, I haven't tried thar yet, thougfh there are a few I would love to hear from again, so maybe I'll give it a try sometime.

  • luna2

    The only real friend I had as a dub exited about the same time I did. We took slightly different paths, she is more straightforward than I am, but we both ended up in the same place within a year or so of each other. Its wonderful to have a friend who was there from beginning (we came in at the same time too) to end and that I can talk to endlessly about some of this stuff.

    I have/had a fondness for a few other dubs but was never all that close to them. I think I always knew that those friendships were conditional upon our being JWs together.

    Of course, I didn't grow up in the troof either. I'm sure I'd wonder how friends I grew up in the org with are doing now...and if they'd talk to me.

  • diamondblue1974

    I have just recently got back in touch with a witness friend of mine as I knew he was having some problems (understatement really given his son is extremely ill and his mother in law is terminally ill);

    I think they were pleasantly surprised that I wasnt some raving demonic lunatic trying to disuade them from their views but instead offered any help I could give at this really shite time.

    I got a great welcome and I will see them again soon.


  • greendawn

    Chances are they will be negative due to the FDS brain washing that demonises apostates so much, don't forget they are cunningly led to believe that the ex dubs were defeated by the Devil and became his followers and subjects.

    Only a small percentage of dubs are open minded enough to talk freely and without any complexes to the ex dubs.

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