by enlightenedcynic 70 Replies latest jw experiences
I wonder if the minds of the GB are regulated by the Holy Spirit. But how can she divorce you anyway if you haven't committed adultery or ill treated her? It sounds like the cult is again at work trying to destroy a good marriage.
Is apostasy grounds for divorce?
your the head of your own household... you can state that the elders may not meet with your wife alone..that you have to be present at all times. if you really wanna be annoying to her,when the elders want to talk to you, ask that she not be present. show her how unimportant a woman is to the elders by excersising your " god given" right as head of household.
Enlight:
You were not abusive, you didn't stop her from going to the meetings, and YOU even went to the meetings and service. I don't see how she would have grounds for separation.
You did have doubts about the Org., so what can you do? Deny it?
I've often thought what would happen if I were found out here, even though I have covered my tracks pretty well. If I was found out, I would just have to 'fess up and get it over with, even though there would be 1000 fiery hell's to pay.
Sorry about your situation, and I feel for you. I might be in your position someday and if I am, I will need JWD more than ever. If you need a listening ear, p.m.me.
No matter what, keep us informed and keep posting so we can help.
Warlock (the understanding one)
Sadly, the religion does break marriages and families, however much they deny it. On the funny side, I had to laugh at the "mind not regulated by Holy Spirit" coment, like she noticed you are experiencing freedom of thought.
This might be a gift opportunity. I was able to get all my Witness issues with my wife worked out by a secular marriage counselor. Find a marriage/family counselor well familiar with high control group dynamics. For a family like mine, marriage problems were a blessing.
I've seen some wives I'd pay to get rid of but I kinda liked mine. I'm glad we worked our differences out enough to stay married one day at a time.
The ONLY reason we are still married is there are NO Jehovah's Witnesses tolerated in our lives who promote divisions between us. I tell ya, Witnesses relatives are the worst. Witness in laws like mine would rather see my wife on a street on a park bench than for her to be with me. That's a sad state of affairs but it's very common if Jehovah's Witnesses are in the picture. Did I mention Jehovah's Witness relatives are the worst?
Get the Witnesses away, get to counseling.
Is apostasy grounds for divorce?
I think they allow for separation on the grounds of spiritual endangerment. Not grounds for divorce (heck, your honeybun can be screwing livestock and its not grounds for divorce according to the WTS).
I like jgnat's idea of making her do all the legwork on this. You aren't the one who's looking for a separation, why should you be the one to have to bust a gut giving her what she wants?
call me cynical but it seems weird youre having these problems now if it wasnt a problem before this article ? http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/10/114474/1.ashx are the floodgates about to open with a new marriage get out clause?
I hope you won't mind if I comment as an outsider.
You've been married 14 years, you have children. You love your wife. She loves you (or at least she does but this JW stuff is intervening).
You have something, far more stable and lasting IMHO than the JWs, WTBTS, elders, whatever, can ever be, because (from an outsider's point of view) the religion is based on shifting sands.
Do whatever you can (and I appreciate in an academic way it's not easy, never experienced it) to keep the religion out of it. Tell them lies, threaten them, whatever. Go to marriage counselling, and if you can, find somebody who knows about manipulative cults. There must be someone here who can give you recommendations. If not, PM me and I'll find someone for you from 5000 miles away.
If you love your wife and your kids, then fight for them, I say, and fight to keep your marriage and family together.
Sorry if this sounds simplistic. But honestly, really, the love of a family can overcome anything.
I see 2 problems, first the UN thing. They ae so jumpy now about apostates, they may overreact. Be very prepared to grovel on this but still they could call it a spiritual endangerment.
the next is the oral sex. Truly, if she tells them that you have forced it on her, they are not going to like you. That right there is cause for her to leave. I know you do not feel you have force it on her, and techinicaly you have not, but when she starts carrying on about the unclean things she is having done to her and how does she deal with this, after all you are her husband and she is to give you the "due", well, when she gets done with that, there won't be a dry eye in the room. of course she likes it at the moment, but you are endangering her,or so she will say.
really, they can't stop her from leaving if she has made up her mind to do so. this newish thing about spiritual endangerment is just a way to get out of a marrige they want out of . jws have been looking for loopholes to get out of bad marriages for a long time, and this one works. of course she can't remarry until you commit adultry, but she'll bet you will
arent' jws nice people?
If you love her enough to still care after she has betrayed you to the nazis, then see if you can get to couples therapy. but I bet the elders nix that idea,. the oral sex is gonna get you beferethe UN thing.
Man that sucks! I'm sorry for you. My wife once told me that the only reason she'd ever leave me would be if I became an apostate. What a sick mentality, they have more love for their man made organization than their own mate.
If a divorce does come down, make sure she's the one who leaves your house, and get custody of the kids!
