Anyone know about 'cutting'?

by love2Bworldly 48 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • rebel8
    rebel8
    I think that people with no identifyable mental illnesses, who function in life very well, may also self harm on occasion or for a time in their life.

    I totally agree.

    Having said that, I've seen DBT help people who don't have a diagnosis because their symptoms are not severe enough to meet the diagnostic criteria. At the very least, DBT is a balanced, healthy way to approach life. However, there are ppl it wouldn't help and/or wouldn't appeal to. My experience was in an inpatient setting--the most severely ill people.

  • Dune
    Dune

    I know alot of witness and ex-witness females that do it.

  • Apostate Kate
    Apostate Kate

    {{{{{{{{{{Sirona, Crumpet, Cog}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    I'm so sorry you have gone through this pain. You are brave to write about it, and I hope it will have had a cathartic effect on you. If anybody tries to use it against you, they should immediatly be sanctioned and rated. If you don't know anything about it, don't post if you have no unconditional love inside for those hurting.

    For the one who said if it was a mimiced behavior, I started trying to throw my food up before I ever heard the word bulimia or anorexia.As a JW we are NEVER good enough. This causes us to hate ourselves and repress feelings because feelings are not allowed. You don't want to go to the meetings? You don't want to go door to door? Repress it. Stuff all those feelings DOWN and shut the hell up. The parents are stressed and often take it out on the kids. Perfect environment for personality disorder, depression, and eating disorders.

    I love the way Dr Phil helps those with some problems. He talks about that record that plays in our heads. The one that says, you are ugly, stupid, loser, etc, etc. Fix that record and reply it; I am beautiful, I am worthy of love, I am a child of God made in His image, life is beautiful. Sometimes I will have a bad thought and I force myself to change it. If I am angry at someone instead of mulling over it I'll pray for that person. I'll tell myself it is not how someone treats me that defines who I am, but how I treat myself. It is good to love ourselves. It took me years to understand that.

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident

    If anybody tries to use it against you, they should immediatly be sanctioned and rated.

    You definitely have to be careful who you trust with this information. I have never told anyone about this aspect of my life except a couple of trusted therapists who were experts in sexual abuse counselling. My parents don't even know. I never did it for attention, just self-numbing. I wouldn't want to portray myself to the outside world as a damaged victim. I know a woman who proudly shows everyone her cutting scars. Everyone thinks she is a wacky, nutcase. This is info you should in most cases keep to yourself for your own self-protection. I only told my story anonymously on this forum because I am sensing how common this behaviour is, and if some young woman or girl knows she is not alone with this... well, that would have been very helpful for me when I was younger. I felt very isolated and alone. I didn't know other people did this and there was help out there.

    For the one who said if it was a mimiced behavior, I started trying to throw my food up before I ever heard the word bulimia or anorexia.As a JW we are NEVER good enough. This causes us to hate ourselves and repress feelings because feelings are not allowed.

    Yes, Kate, you have got to the heart of the matter. All self-destructive behaviours are just different manifestations of self-hate. Cutting is no better or worse than others, it just gets more attention for some reason. Interestingly, enough, it wasn't the physical and sexual abuse that triggered me to cut myself. It was all the JW conditioning (verbal abuse and criticism) from my parents that I would never be good enough to be a worthwhile person worthy of love and praise. I swear this is more insidious and destructive to a child's self-esteem than outright abuse because it is abuse disguised as helping you to be a better person. At least with outright physical abuse and sexual abuse you know who the enemy is.

    I love the way Dr Phil helps those with some problems. He talks about that record that plays in our heads. The one that says, you are ugly, stupid, loser, etc, etc. Fix that record and reply it; I am beautiful, I am worthy of love, I am a child of God made in His image, life is beautiful.

    This is exactly the type of thought stopping techniques my therapist taught me to pull me out of the spiral of self-hate and shame. The voices in your head calling you names are not your own. They are the voices of your abusers disguised as your own. You need to yell back at them just like you would if you saw an adult verbally abusing a child. Everytime you hear the abusers voice, you have to substitue a loving positive message for the hateful, hurtful one. I know this sounds absurdly simple, but it is very powerful and it works! Try it all you soon to be ex-cutters out there.

    Cog

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    I just wanted to say thanks for your comments Sirona - I don't think he really believes that itys just attention-seeking - I think he's just put it into a mental box along with other erratic behaviour by me as being beyond the realms of understanding! he has encouraged me to seek counselling a lot and even offered to pay for it as that is the main thing stopping me having it. But I don't know if I'll be able to appreciate it if I don;t pay myself and besides he really can't afford it.

  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll

    BTTT for Elizabeth

  • KW13
    KW13

    I have a friend who does it.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/emotion_selfharm.shtml

    that helped me help her.

  • Joe Grundy
    Joe Grundy

    Self-harm is far, far, more common than most people realise. It affects people from all walks of life, in varied circumstances, etc.

    A lot of people can't cope with other people's distress or illness. If they ask the question 'How are you?' they only want to hear 'Fine, thanks'.

    The 'Fine, thanks' response is a standard response for those who really mean 'I'm desperate, please help me'. One day, I hope, we'll all get better at recognising and responding to cries for help.

  • KW13
    KW13

    I told my mum about my friend self-harming and next thing i had loads of awakes in front of me.

    Here are unqualified people offering solutions to those who need proper help and good friends who aren't offering religion as the solution. It would be nice but offering a paradise with no pain isn't a solution, its like wearing a plaster to cover the wound.

  • Tea4Two
    Tea4Two

    Depression maybe......I am not an expert on these matters.....but I learned this weekend of a friend who is going through a divorce, killed all his chickens and a roster last week, and threw them in the woods...they were his pride and joy...he raised them in his basement from the time they were an embryo until they could live outside and in a chicken koop...he got so excited everytime they layed eggs and he was giving the eggs away there were so many. I have known this person for years since he was teenager...a genuine nice guy who would give you the shirt off his back....I was shocked and dismayed.....We on the outside..don't know what is going on and are powerless to help...His sister is going to stay with him for a month...thank goodness.

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