by love2Bworldly 48 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I am someone who really cant stand any pain, so this made me shudder. I saw a program were a girl was sticking safety pins through her flesh!
It cant be for attention cos its done in secret, but it seems to be getting more and more common. Do you think young ppl try it, like drugs because theve heard about it. it surely cant just "pop" into all these plls minds to do this from nowhere!
What a thoughtful response Sirona! and this comment is sooo true
They think you're doing it "for attention" or "because you like it". That isn't the case at all.
I know that my other half feels half that I am a nutcase and half that that I do it for attention - except most often he doesnt even know that I have done it until weeks or months later when I forget to hide the scars.
I do it because the grief for my family is buried not gone. I do it because I need to feel something. I do it to punish myself for being a loathsome person. And possibly I do it, but only in minutest part, for attention.
I hope someone thinks that what I've said makes some sense. Or is that the final nail in my insanity coffin?!
Perfect sense matey
Db74
I also used to cut and like sirona it was because I felt so much pain on the inside but it never seemed validated because no one else could "see" how much I was hurting. Maybe it was also to validate the pain for myself too. All I know is I always felt better when I would see the blood, like it was a physical representation for the emotional pain. I would suggest talking to the person and letting them know you are there for them. That they can always talk to you without fear of judgement and be very careful of what you say. The most innocent comment can sound to a depressed person as if you are minimizing what they are going through or judging them, because they spend all their time telling themselves that no one cares. And most of all really listen to them.
((((((((( crumpet))))))))))
Vitty - it does just pop into yoru mind though. I never knew anyone else did it at all until I'd be struggling with it a good few years. the first time I did it I was just so angry and helpless and wanted to lash out and thats how it happened. However I do remember that maybe there was an infant stage to the practice - at meetings when I was as young as 6 or 7 I remember how I was so bored I used to give myself papercuts or scratch noughts and crosses into the skin on my arms with a sharp nail.
Kate, I went through training on DBT, taught it to other counselors, and used it in therapy groups. It was originally geared towards treating Borderline Personality Disorder but has been used for other disorders since then. It is based upon Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques but removes & adds some things.....CBT may not be as helpful to someone with BPD because it directly criticizes the thinking process & BPD folks tend to respond better to more supportive therapies.....DBT supports both change and the person.....it adds some cool concepts such as mindfulness (from Buddhism) to promote self-awareness as a method to avoid negative behaviors.
Outpatient programs could include a variety of techniques. The full program ideally consists of group therapy, availability of the therapist by phone to process unexpected stressors using DBT techniques, etc. The patient must promise not to self harm. The group program contains classes on mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness (acting in the most effective way to get your goals met--my favorite), distress tolerance, and more. Here's some more info: http://www.behavioraltech.com/downloads/dbtFaq_Cons.pdf The books I linked to earlier are good too.
In the inpatient setting, I did see some self abuse being done for attention or to manipulate others (ie, "I'll scratch myself if you don't let me have a cigarette," stuff like that). I think most times it is done as a maladaptive coping mechanism (punish oneself, to spark a feeling when emotions are numb, etc.) vs. attention.
Rebel8,
This may appear to be some kind of justification, but I'd like to make this point: People with very serious diagnosable mental illnesses do self harm, but I think that people with no identifyable mental illnesses, who function in life very well, may also self harm on occasion or for a time in their life.
There is a danger in categorising self harmers as those who have to be sectioned because they cannot function in life. For me, the actual self harm was very isolated to a time in my life, even though I admit to being "self-destructive" sometimes nowadays (i.e. overeating / overdrinking due to emotional problems).
Sirona
Crumpet,
I know that my other half feels half that I am a nutcase and half that that I do it for attention - except most often he doesnt even know that I have done it until weeks or months later when I forget to hide the scars.
It is hideous, isn't it, that the one person who is supposed to be closest to you could think such things? I mean, does he even bother to look up the subject in books or on the internet? Does he even begin to consider that "attention" is far too simple a reason to do something so hurtful to oneself? Are there other ways to get attention? Of course there are!
I know exactly how you feel. That sort of response is going to push you to keep it secret, because of the judgements and the ridicule.
Having said that, it must be very hurtful to see someone you love doing something which hurts them.
Hugs,
Sirona
The only insight I can offer about cutting is that every cutter I ever knew had been sexually abused in one way or another...perhaps there are those who weren't, but all the cutters I ever knew had been...and I've known many. I'm not a professional, this is just my own experience.I hope she gets the help she needs, this is one self destructive thing I haven't done...but I can understand the desire to...I did other things. am so sorry anyone ever has to feel so bad that they have to hurt themselves to try to escape the pain. It makes me so sad.
(((((hugs)))))) to anyone who is dealing with, or has dealt with this issue. To any lurkers...if you're cutting now, please seek help. You are worth it. You are, you are, you are. You deserve to be, just because you are here on this planet. You deserve to be, and you deserve to be happy and feel loved.
You do.
essie
