Well, I got the dreaded call from the elder's tonight....

by AK - Jeff 47 Replies latest jw experiences

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Sorry for the spaces in that post - don't know why - when I made a lttle change the whole thing went goofy.


  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Let me post the letter again here;

    Mr. xxxxx -

    For my rudeness in hanging up on you, I owe an apology. I also owe an explanation.

    I will relate to you two incidents that had massive impact on me, and that have acted to finally gel my Christianity, and forge my determinations. One of them is a personal encounter with you, the other a discourtesy visited me by the entire congregation. Both derive from the same lack of Christ-like love.

    The first

    occurred circa 1994, or thereabouts. I was attending a meeting at the Kingdom Hall, in the midst of great stress associated with the now second time my child had run away from home, at about 14 years of age. Two weeks previous was the first of such events. Several elders had shown considerateness, and kindness by coming to my home and aiding us through this terrible ordeal. You were not one of them, in spite of your title as presiding overseer. However, what occurred next was shocking in the maximum to me. You asked me to the ‘little room’ at the back of the Kingdom Hall. After a bit of small talk, and some feigned interest in our welfare, you proceeded to utter what were to me the most cruel and heartless words that could come from the mouth of one professing to be a ‘shepherd’ of the flock. I do not exaggerate them; they still burn in my ears; “The elders have far more important things to do than to go out to your house and comfort you and your wife every time your child runs away.” Eighteen times this event was repeated, and true to your hateful words, not a single elder bothered to show any concern over the matter. I knew then something was wrong.

    I was appalled. I still am. Nothing could have been done or said to erase the callous, unloving, unspiritual and unscriptural nature of those words. I could not imagine, as deeply as I dug, what ‘more important things’ there could possibly be for a Christian minister of Christ than succor and empathy at such a time of massive crisis in the life of a sheep. It further escaped me then and now, how one of such ‘spiritual mindedness’ would not have noticed the depth of pain that must have crossed my face. I pondered for years what those ‘more important things’ could be? The preparation of an instruction talk perhaps - Maybe a public talk? Assembly part? Demonstration on how to sell more magazines? I cannot conceive of any matter that would carry more import than the mental, emotional, and spiritual health of brothers and sisters in crisis, can you? But then, that is just my perspective as a Christian. I believe that Jesus’ sheep are of sufficient importance to spend time and energy when they need it most. Jesus did too, someday you may wish to read his words.

    The second

    matter I relate, is the congregational boycott of my mother’s funeral, years later.

    This was perhaps the last opportunity for the congregation to show me that anything that even approached the love that Jesus said would mark his people was apparent among Jehovah’s Witnesses. Short answer? Nope! Other than a couple, whom I personally called and invited to the funeral home, no one came from the hall. We received no calls, no flowers, no visits, no cards. Several ‘worldly’ people whom I never met, but who knew Mom, sent nice flowers and cards. Some called my home to offer condolence. My mother’s family was beside themselves. They asked us what happened to the Witnesses? They had been virtually cut off from Mom’s association in the past due to this ‘weird religion’ of hers, yet not a Witless showed.

    The most despicable part of this, was the shameful way in which this boycott must have been accomplished. I have never been disfellowshipped, disassociated, reproved, reprimanded, or in any other way formally disciplined by the congregation. So the congregation had no reason not to come. Not a single elder had even asked me why were not in attendance any longer. However, reports reached me of elders speaking abusive statements about me in the car groups, and at the circuit assemblies. That is how the elders accomplished such a boycott! Gossip, innuendo, slander. No individual publisher would have a reason to start such vicious rumors about a brother just because he did not attend the meetings. Eventually of course, the entire congregation became guilty of assassination of my good name. But they were just following the lead that was set. Most continue to ‘shun’ me in public, as if I have been expelled. Tried and executed before a trial. In the dark ages it was called Inquisition. You confuse it with love.

    When I read Jesus’ words about love, I can find no comparison to what I have experienced in the ‘truth’. Are these the fruits of Godly love? I think the answer is evident as well as scriptural. I devoted four decades of my life to believing what you do, and thinking that I had true Christian fellowship within the ranks of these people. I found that after all that time there was not a man in the crowd with enough testicular fortitude to come face to face and show compassion and legitimate concern for our spiritual health. When did any of these so called ‘shepherds’ leave the 99 and go to aid the one that had fallen in a pit? Or to even find why that one was lost? You didn’t. Kevin didn’t. None of the James triplets did. Did any of you ever read the Lord’s metaphorical references to sheep and shepherds?

    Now years later, I get a call out of the blue that portends some interest in my spiritual health. Don’t make me laugh. People don’t ignore, repudiate, gossip, slander, shun and mistreat persons one day, then become interested in aiding them the next. Not likely. Perhaps a ploy to entrap me in some twisted way, as if you hold some authority in my life. You don’t. My Master is Christ. I pray that someday He will be yours also. One day with the Father’s grace has been worth thousands spent in the spiritual darkness outside of that Holy light.

    As I carry on in this earthly vessel, I pray my Father will find some good in me. I pray that He will allow His spirit to rest on us daily. I have felt His power in my life. I also pray that He will guide those who have misused opportunities in His service to further their own prestige or power over others. And that He will guide them to the same fountain of life, Christ Jesus our Lord. That prayer includes all who sought to control my Christian freedom and shackle me to their own private interpretation of scripture. Or to bind my conscience with legalistic cuffs. For years I was embarrassed to admit that I ever was a Witness. I am no longer embarrassed. I use the opportunity to show that we can be rescued, by the Grace of God, from even the darkest of sectarian cults. .

    I hope and pray for you. By finally seeing your lack of Christ-like love, the Lord lead me to Christian Freedom, as He taught me the ‘truth about the Truth‘. No greater gift could I have than my precious relationship with my Savior and King. That is my eternal treasure. I hope you someday open your hearts, and your Bibles, and find that Jesus is waiting for you. May the Father knock the scales from your eyes before it is too late for you to come to him and leave behind such hatefulness. Such is not Christianity, but legalism that resembles the Pharisees. Though saddened by such realization, I rejoice in the love of Christ. My prayer is for you in this regard. May God bless you with the Freedom that exist only in our Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus.


  • Jourles

    The "Mr. XXXXX" part should be enough to automatically DA you. Oh, and some mention of "sectarian cults?" If the "Mr." was the lid, then "sectarian cults" provided the nails...

    I would say you're on your way out, officially, sometime this summer. Just in time for a 'fest perhaps?

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Jeff.....((((((jeff))))) your letter was so honest and heartfelt. Your words reflect some of my very own thoughts perfectly. I can only hope this man that receives it will actually read it with an open mind (we can only wish). Do you feel like you have reached any sort of closure with them now ?

  • Jim_TX

    Wow! A great letter! Too bad they won't see it that way.

    The part that I also liked was that you didn't use any scriptures. You told them to go read them... but you didn't give any 'Matthew 14:... sez...', like they do.


    Good Luck Jeff,

    Jim TX

  • vitty

    What a fantastic letter!

    The only part I would leave out, was that you were "embarrast" as a witness. They will dismiss everything you said and pick you up on this point. Thereby showing , you were not a "real" witness anyway.

  • rebel8

    awesome letter

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff
    I would say you're on your way out, officially, sometime this summer. Just in time for a 'fest perhaps?

    Yep. I am not going to play games with em, not at least by thier rules.

    I might be coming to the Motorfest - and I am trying to arrange one myself here for September. I wonder if any elders will be snooping around the park to snap a few pics of us daring to choose our own associates?

    I have decided that my 'stategy' is to be honest and open for the most part, while not giving them license to DF me. If they do they do. I plan on taking the whole 'fall' so that Wifey will be able to associate with her Mom and others in her family. They will never meet with her as long as I can use the 'head of my household' Wt rules to protect her.

    Along the way I will drop as many nuggets of reality in the laps of the elders as I can. They are a gossipy bunch and they might actually help the 'apostate cause' with their gossip about me in the car groups - who knows who might want to actually speak to me in person to see if I am as evil as they say. I won't be waiting with bated breath - but who knows.


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