Ridiculous New System Ideas

by sass_my_frass 59 Replies latest jw friends

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    ... that I've noticed, generated by WBTS, include that:

    - everybody's living room has a view to the distant snow-capped mountains, uninhibited by the neighbour's ugly Tudor that he knocked together at least forty five millennia ago and wouldn't you think he'd have painted the gables by now?
    - they all visit their friends walking over the unfenced meadows carrying baskets of fruit
    - they're wearing machine-hemmed clothes (or the women are damn fine at hand sewing fabric that was manufactured before the big A) and shiny shoes
    - people who weren't allowed to learn a trade have the expertise to keep the water, power and gas systems running (unmanned because everybody is too busy growing pomegranates) .
    - there are lions everywhere in paradise, and they eat grass. In fact everything eats grass, and the grass still looks pretty nice
    - even after many millenia of interracial harmony, white people are still a robust Anglo white
    - geographical forces such as continental drift, erosion, volcanoes and earthquakes have ceased. Streams no longer carry matter to the oceans, islands are no longer born. Magically, the earth looks the same forever except for the slowly building pools of sulphur and methane.
    - nobody needs to know medicine because we're all perfectly healthy. Nobody gets hurt in accidents.
    - we all instantly know everything and are content to exist forever eating fruit and cuddling pandas.
    - the most important driving force behind maintaining your faith - what paradise it going to be like - is the thing least talked about because it highlights exactly how absurd the concept is

    Mr Frass once remarked that the witness view of paradise sounded like a peculiar kind of hell. I am starting to see why.

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    Care is taken not to show the loud speakers hidden in the trees, the rebels hiding in the mountains or the men of the peace and security department. .

    Where tyrany reigns there will be resistance

    alt

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Sass

    shiny shoes

    You mean your folks didn't have you polish 2 pairs of patents every night just in case the Big A arrived, so that you would have clean shoes for the Cover Shot of the next Watchtower after wading through all the corpses of your school mates?

  • luna2
    luna2

    The idea that I always thought was real cool was that we'd take over one of the local mansions that we'd scoped out (in a kind, loving, and oh so Christian way) while attempting to save people by selling magazines. Of course, how great would these places be with no running water or electricity? Might be kind of a bummer to have to remove the dead bodies before we could move in too.

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    For the last 7billion years we've had cherry pie after the Tuesday night scroll study ..

    I wonder if Gumby would mind a change?

    alt

  • Frog
    Frog

    where do you drag all your pics from uncle b??!

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    LOL at Luna.

    As a ten year old I was fascinated by old books in the KH library. One had black and white photos of snapily dressed men driving around in an early model truck picking up the bones left from the great bird fest. I openly wondered where we'd get the fuel and had the book briskly removed from my grasp

    alt

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce
    where do you drag all your pics from uncle b??!

    I took them all myself this morning ... nah you just search google images:

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  • luna2
    luna2

    Now, Uncle Bruce...you know logic has no place in Jegoomba's Magic Kingdom!

    Your cute little Donna Reed picture and Tuesday night scroll study comment has cherry pie dancing in my head now. [email protected] you!

  • geevee
    geevee

    Actually, I wonder why Lions eat grass, when their digestive tract is set up to be a carnivor? They have 10 times as much hydrochloric acid as a human, and very short small and large intestines to speed up the transit time. Did god change them after the flood? and is he gonna change em back after the big A?
    I loved the book "the day of the triffids". Sought of reminded me what life would be like after the big A. Not that I have a fetish for blind women! But the soughting through supermarkets and shops and shopping malls and peoples houses seemed like a great idea, finding all the good stuff, handing in to the temple of elder princes and of course giving all the gold and diamonds to the princesses.....[sorry getting off topic, I'll go now]

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