Disfellowshipped and lonely

by ryry 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • Es

    welcome to the board.

    Im so sorry that you have gone through this....try and take one day at a time and realise in the end its your family's loss and not yours

    we are here for you


  • sassycat

    I can emphathize with you. I was df'd about 4-5 years ago and was shunned by some friends and family members. Luckily not all my family shunned me, even though they are baptized. But I did lose my best friends at the time, but I quickly made others through school and work, real friends that like you for who you are, not just because you attend the stupid KH.

    I recently started attending dinners that are organized by meetup.com where other ex-JWs meet, tell their story, discuss current issues, chat about family and friends. It's great to talk with other ex-JWs as they can relate to everything you say. It also provides for a good laugh. You could check it out and see if there is a group in your area. And don't be nervous about attending - everyone is nice!

    Chat and discussion rooms are also great and you can find a lot of support. Plus you'll see others posting about topics that you've thought about too.

    Try not to feel too lonely - feel proud that you, like me, got out at an early age. Early enough to pursue a happy and meaningful career or your choosing, not the society's. You can follow whatever dreams you have, whether it has to do with your career, love or family.

    It gets better with time. I have never been happier and I feel bad for those who are still JWs and lead oppressive lives.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear RYRY,

    Don't forget the power of prayer! Pray that your families hearts may open one day. I know my heart did. My brother at a very young age was disfellowshipped too. Being raised a VERY strict JW we of course followed proceedure and shunned him. Thinking it would help him come around, we did it out of love. But we also did it out of policy. Later he was reinstated, only to drift away, back into the world. The elders decided to one day pay a visit to him and after telling them he just wanted to be left alone, and that he wasn't claiming to be a witness anymore, they publically disassociated him. Which requires the same treatment as disfellowshipping. At first, we once again followed proceedure. His life was on spin cycle. Drugs finally landed him in 6 months pre-prison. Thats when my family and me realized if we ever wanted to truely help him, we needed to actually SHOW him love. We supported him the whole time he was there. Visiting him as often as we could. After he served his time the authorities told my parents that they felt he wouldn't be back, and would be one of the few that would staighten out their life. The next step for him was hard core prison time. The authorities felt it was all the love and support his family had shown. Although I must admit I still prayed he would come back to the organization, I realized how very much I loved him! And my- o -my, how things have changed since those days. Its been several years now, and he has his life back together. My parents and all my siblings, my husband and daughter and myself, are also out! It took a long time. And like you must feel, he too was very lonely for many years. The thought of that just breaks my heart! I cannot change the way I acted. But I am determined now, to help any and all that need someone! So welcome aboard, and NEVER give up on them. Pray for their hearts to open. Until then, use the time you have to make new friends, like the ones here that will give you much insight and wisdom.


    Lady Liberty

  • Cellist

    Welcome to the board, ryry.


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