Disfellowshipped and lonely

by ryry 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • ryry

    Hi everyone,

    I was disfellowshipped in 2003. Systematically my family stopped talking to me. I am only 22 years old and I feel a big void in my life. What can I do to feel better?

  • Narkissos
    What can I do to feel better?

    What you just did.

    Welcome ryry!

  • GoingGoingGone

    Welcome ryry!!!

    Sorry to hear your family is shunning you. Stick around here, there is plenty of unconditional love to go around, and a good dose of humor, too!

    Nice to have you here! Enjoy!


  • Will Power
    Will Power

    Welcome! - You've come to the right place. Everyone here understands what you are going thru.

    will power

  • daystar

    The best advice I can give is for you to focus on developing yourself. List things that you like to do, that make you feel accomplished or simply happy, and focus on them. Don't shy away from people as much as you can help it. If you develop those things in your life that you truly enjoy, people of like mind will seem to gravitate to you.

    "Birds of a feather flock together."

    Also, stick around here. Most of us have a clear idea of what you are going through and are more than willing to lend an ear and a heart.


  • damselfly

    Have you made any friends since you've been disfellowshipped? What are your interests? Do you go to school or work?

    I've been D'fd forever and it wasn't until I made a few friends and started back to school that the hole started to fill. This board has been a huge help to me as well. Being able to "talk" and ask questions and just interact with people without having to worry that what I would say would come out wrong.

    If you are interested in meeting people on the board there is a map on here somewhere that shows posters by their location. You could always see who is close to you and arrange a meeting. Please be safe while doing this though.


    ** I forgot to welcome you! Welcome **

  • anewme

    RyRy, Damsel Fly is right. Search out people. Make new friends. And this forum is a good place to start sweetie.



  • Apostate Kate
    Apostate Kate

    Welcome! You did the right thing.

    This Forum is more than just a place to talk about our JW experiences. It is THE information super hwy of what is going on with the Society, and the place to meet life long friends. Many here have met in person, so it is not just some obscure little board.

    The most important thing to remember is, you are not alone. Most here have been through family shunning. Never lose hope that they will see the real truth, about the truth the lie.

    Love to You~Kate

  • Fleur

    Welcome, Ryry!

    Narkissos is absolutely right. You've taken the first step out of your isolation.

    You'll go through a lot of feelings as you deal with being df'd (which I now refer to as the 'blessing in disguise' from my twenties) thing I realized was that my family is so rigid and has such bizarre thinking; surely a by-product of so many generations in the Borg...that I have nothing in common with them even if they did still talk to me.

    You're so young. You've got everything ahead of you. Hang on to that knowledge and know that as you get healthier after leaving the org. that you will find people who value, love, respect, and treat you with kindness because of who you are...not just because you sat in a seat in the KH a designated number of times a week.

    See, I knew there was a reason I came to the board first thing this morning. I think this post is it.

    I'm going to tell you what I wish that someone had told me when I was in my 20's, first out (I tried to DA but they ignored it and announced me as DF, which still irks me because I quit, I wasn't fired !) begins with this: let go of the guilt. Whatever you were df'd for, don't beat yourself up for it one more minute. Mortals make mistakes. Life happens. Especially when you think of the things that they generally df for...don't let the guilt dog you or make you feel like any less of a person.

    The shunning program is set up to humiliate people. Keep your wits and your dignity. You will go through periods of sheer hell missing your family. You may find ways to eventually talk to some of them; it takes a long time. They think that they're doing the loving thing to save your life. That is a powerful message of responsibility that they are carrying. It's a burden. I just wonder now how on earth they square that with Christianity, but that's just me. I'm not a Christian anymore anyway!

    I'm rambling because I got no sleep last night and I'm pre-caffeine but I had to write back to your post right away.

    Important to remember: You are not alone. You are a person of worth and value who deserves every happiness in the world. Just because they stuck a label on you of "disfellowshipped", means nothing to anyone outside the tiny, isolated world that is the JW 'religion'.

    Take courage. Post here and even more importantly, read, read, and read more. And if the pain gets to be too much, talk to a professional, quickly. Disfellowshipping is a brutal, evil practice that has caused many to give up on life. But life is just beginning for you. Don't ever let that go.

    You're among friends here.



  • Brigid

    Dear ryry,

    I'm so glad you found us! You've taken that one first step toward the Light and it now takes a thousand toward you (my version of some words that really helped me through my break away period).

    Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.

    We look forward to getting to know you better.

    Love and Light,


Share this