I was kinda down and out today....

by IronClaw 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • Frog
    I started thinking what a waste life is when you don't have anyone to share beautiful moments like this with. It kind of takes away from the beauty and serenity when you look at it from just one set of eyes.

    Sorry your day was a bummer IC. But I can relate to your feelings and that song is one of my favorites. From time to time I take a ride to some scenic place and then it hits me. I'm alone with no one to share the moment with. It happens at other times too. It really sucks!

    Then again.......I always get bummed out this time of year. Unlike you with a wife who views you as dead..........I don't have a wife. Wish I did though! Next month will be 10 years since my wife died and although the "heartache and pain" are gone, I still have memories and wish I could go back.

    Hiya IC & happydad...I hear you both clearly on this one and understand your sadness. While I myself haven't been married, I know what it's like to feel a real emptyness around moments where you experience something that should be so uplifting, but without either that someone extra special or really special people around you love to share those moments with they seem so shallow and wasted. I've travelled to some great destination overseas, but have felt that with all the build-up to getting there I've been consistently disappointed upon arrival, not because the place itself wasn't all I ever dreamt it to be, but that without seeing the joy and excitement on a loved ones face it's just not all that moment could be.

    I hope you both find love again, you've still got many years ahead of you, and you both deserve to be happy and much loved.

    All the best, and at least know you are loved by this lil frog, x

  • FlyingHighNow

    Iron, we still have the bond we forged while inside the org. The gov bod would love it if witnesses outside the org. obeyed them, did not speak to each other and begged to be reinstated. But they cannot tell us we cannot speak to each other, comfort each other, share with each other.

    Here's a song by Dan Fogleberg. I was listening to it, one day in my car, when it occurred to me that this is exactly what coming out of the org. not just physically, but mentally and spiritually feels like to most exwitnesses, including me. I made a thread about it. It's on page one of my the topics I have started. Here are the lyrics.

    If you ever get the chance to listen to the song, don't pass it up. It has an orchestral arrangement that will make your soul soar. The lyrics alone are beautiful .The last verses in red sound like the way you feel now. I hope someday soon that you will come back and tell us that the rest of the words are how you feel.

    Nether Lands By Dan Fogelberg

    High on this mountain
    The clouds down below
    I'm feeling so strong and alive
    From this rocky perch
    I'll continue to search
    For the wind and the snow and the sky Oh I want a lover and I want some friends
    And I want to live in the sun
    And I want to do all the things that I never have done Sunny bright mornings and pale moonlit nights
    Keep me from feeling alone
    Now I'm learning to fly and this freedom is like
    Nothing that I've ever known

    Oh I've seen the bottom and I've been on top
    But mostly I've lived in between
    And where do you go when you get to the end of your dream ? Off in the Nether Lands I heard the sound
    Like the beating of heavenly wings
    And deep in my brain I can hear a refrain
    Of my soul as she rises and sings

    Anthems to glory and anthems to love
    And hymns filled with earthly delight Like the songs that the darkness composes to worship the light Once in a vision I came on some woods
    And stood at a fork in the road
    My choices were clear yet I froze with the fear
    Of not knowing which way to go

    Oh, one road was simple acceptance of life

    The other road offered sweet peace
    When I made my decision
    My vision became my release...

  • IronClaw
    I hope you both find love again, you've still got many years ahead of you, and you both deserve to be happy and much loved.

    Thanks Frog. I hope HappyDad and I both find true love. You should be turned into a princess.

    The Claw.

  • FlyingHighNow

    Iron, I recommend, if you do break up, don't go looking for your soulmate. Make friends, if you find a lady you like enough, take her out. Don't ask yourself, "Will she be the one?" Just get to know people and hope that someday, you will find you have found her.

  • IronClaw
    Oh I want a lover and I want some friends

    Yep, my heart bleeds for this verse. Thanks for the song. I'll have to dld it and listen to it. I'm at that fork in the road right now. Hope I make the right choice.

    The Claw.

  • FlyingHighNow

    If you can't find the song, let me know and I can e-mail it to you.

  • codeblue


    Great song...........

    I have been thru the down and out's before.......

    I was married to my first husband, he was a JW...that cheated right an left on me...(with many women and one of them my best JW girlfriend)

    he left me........

    Then I was blessed to meet husband #2....although a JW, his first wife left him .........we got married.

    but a twist......

    we are both fading as of 3 years now.

    So, take heart.........you can find a soulmate.........like Flyinghigh said.........

    take care,


  • Cabin in the woods
    Cabin in the woods

    Hey there Claw!

    One thing that I have noticed about the JWs is that the harder they push someone to see things their way and to make choices that put the 'secret society ' first the more obvious it is that they are seeing tiny cracks and fissures in that persons resolve.

    Here is a suggestion... even though your heart is breaking you need to smile and get out and have some fun. If it just seems impossible right now then get a hobby just do something that helps to calm you . She needs to see that leaving the borg brings peace and happiness. If she sees you a broken man then that just bolsters her jaded views. This probably sounds ludicrous right now but it really does help.

    Just a thought.

    (((((((to you!))))))

    Mary in the cabin

  • primitivegenius

    sorry to hear how things are for ya Claw but i think mary has a valid point there. if you seem miserable then it confirms the wt bs that only through their spirit guided and directed mind controll can anyone be truely happy. she sees you having fun in a healthy normal way hey might be the crack that breaks the dam

  • WildHorses

    Don't ever give up on love. I had for years and had resided myself to the fact that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. Then, when I least expected it, someone from my past came back into my life. It was my first husband.

    My first husband and I had tried two times before to make a go of it. We broke up the first time because he cheated on me. He did it only one time but I, being as hard headed as I was at that young age couldn't forgive him. We had a child together and even though that should have made me try to work things out. I was to pig headed to try, so I left him. We got back together a couple of years later and by this time he had a drinking problem. He was drunk almost every night. We fought a lot and one night it almost came to blows and at that moment I decided to leave again. We lost contact with each other for sixteen years!

    I used to blame Hector for most of our problems. Sure, he cheated on me once, but only once. And yes he ended up an alcoholic. BUT, he also had a heart of gold, treated me like a Queen when he was sober, gave me numerous back and foot rubs. Helped me around the house, never let anyone say anything bad about me, but me, being the stubborn person that I am could only see the bad that he did and didn't try to work it out. I ran. It's funny, but I never realized it until years later when I thought it was to late and didn't know where he was to tell him how good he had really been to me.

    Fast forward to this January. I was on the computer and I get an IM from my sister. Her message........."I have some news. I don't know if it's good news, but I have some news. Give me a call." So, I call her and ask her what this news is. She said that Hector was there and that he had been looking for us. He just happened to run into a mutual friend of theirs and they told him where she lived and that he had been trying to find us. He gets on the phone and we set up a place to meet and from that day on we have been inseparable. We both got to tell each other how we have both held onto the feelings we both held for each other all these years and I finally got to tell him how sorry I was for not trying to work it out. The good thing is that it wasn't to late and I will never make the same mistake twice. I got a second chance. Thank heavens I'm smart enough to realize that. Also, he hasn't had a drink in over ten years!

    So, never give up on love. Even if your wife may not be THE ONE. There is always someone out there who is and it will be when you least expect it. Funny, I never believed that until now. No matter how many times I had been told that.

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