Parents' reaction to the baby (page 3)

cruzanheart

Nos, I completely understand. Chris and I got the same reaction from my JW parents when we announced Jennie's upcoming debut into the world. And we were Witnesses "in good standing" too! When we got pregnant with Jackson (2 1/2 years later), my mother's reaction was "AGAIN?" (I'm an only child; now I know why.)

Hell, yes, it hurt. It still does. I'm 50 now, my parents are dead, my children are 12 and 9, and last Saturday I broke down and cried violently for a few hours -- all because no matter what I did for those people, it wasn't good enough.

You can break that mold by raising your children to feel "good enough" and loved unconditionally. You can look at your own childhood issues, attach emotion, get it out, and move on with your life. Over time the hurt becomes less like a mortal wound and more like a scar that aches in bad weather.

A therapist we know said a very profound thing once upon a time, in a discussion of child abuse and its effects on children: "Some people have two people (parents) to love them forever. Others have lots of people to love them for a little while." In our journey through life, we will hopefully have lots of people love us, even if it's only for a little while.

And congratulations on the baby!!!!!! You are in for one wild ride!

Hugs from one who appreciates you,

Nina

freedomlover

Oh man Scully, I was thinking the exact same thing!

Please, keep us up to date on the news with the baby. I am really missing my neices and nephews who aren't allowed to see us anymore. I'd love to be able to spoil a new baby!

as far as your parents......I can relate. I have a similar situation. It pains me when my mom doesn't get to share life with her beautiful grandchildren. It's truly her loss though. Being a parent has taught me that I need to protect my kids, even if it's from their own grandparents. Your child will be celebrated the way this child should be celebrated!

we are very happy for you!

how is your wifey feeling?????

Nosferatu

how is your wifey feeling?????

Nauseaus and pregnant. We're also a bit stressed out. She had to go on stress leave before she found out she was pregnant. We're eagerly awaiting some kind of paycheque(s) to show up from her group plan and EI.

Thanks all for the kind words and relating your experiences. It helps. I still think I'm gonna have a good cry tonight. I've never done it over this issue before, and I think 10 years of buildup needs to be relieved a bit.

freedomlover

Oh man Nos......I think a good cry is in order. It will probably feel great to get that off your chest...

I am in the field of working with pregnant women. I teach Childbirth education and can recommend lots of good reads when you guys are ready for them. In the meantime for nausea get to the health food store and get her some ginger tea made from real ginger root. Sip regularly through out the day. Also, make sure she is on a good pre-natal vitamin. also available from the health food store.

nausea really makes life miserable in the beginning. It usually subsides about 12 weeks into the pregnancy.

tell your wife, I can relate. sick, sick, sick, when I was pregnant.

Gretchen956

Nos, like others here I really feel you. I pretty much kept my parents out of my son's life because of the way that they are. My son grew up hearing stories about them! For a long time they hurt me, I carried so much hatred and pain from the years of abuse. But I did learn to forgive them. I didn't read the book Blondie and you have, but I just grew to realize that they don't know any better, they are poor, ignorant people kept that way by the bounds of their ignorant religion. Having accepted allowed me to forgive them and then I just didn't have the energy to hate them any more. Takes a lot of energy for that! Still wouldn't choose to be around them if they gave me that choice, but only because I don't let people that negative and demeaning in my life.

By the way, I'll adopt you! You're a couple years older than my son. I'm very happy for you both and I know you will be great parents! Please do let us know if you get set up on a baby registry.

Sherry

Tish

Hi, sorry to hear you have such bad parents, you know now it's down to you to make sure you don't make the same mistakes. As my husband says no one can judge you except your own children.

Congratulations on you baby, may you and your wife be blessed by this child...

Nosferatu

Please do let us know if you get set up on a baby registry.

We were planning on setting up a registry, but not for a little while yet.

In the meantime for nausea get to the health food store and get her some ginger tea made from real ginger root. Sip regularly through out the day. Also, make sure she is on a good pre-natal vitamin. also available from the health food store.

Don't worry, she's taking good care of herself.

freedomlover

GOOD! healthy mommas = healthy babies!

Satanus

Congratulations on the baby. As jws, we were taught that it was the worst thing. It must be a really awesome thing to think that, after you are gone, something of you will be here to continue on. I am sending you a pm.

S

Ps, i know that in provinces like manitoba, sask and, especially macho/bible belt alberta, it is frowned upon for men to cry. However, imo, there is nothing wrong w it, when it is needed.

Bryan

Sorry to hear it Nos. Did I understand you correctly, that your mother is a JW and your father, not? If so, why does your father treat you this way?

Congrat's on the Bambino!

Bryan

Parents' reaction to the baby

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