I'm so sorry your parents reacted like this. And I can so relate.
My mother is emotionally abusive. I'm a slow learner apparantly, because I kept going back and taking more and more of her crap for 40 years before I got a clue. And she's a JW... I've now DF'd HER One of the best decisions I ever made.
I feel really bad for my kids, not having grandparents who love them the way they deserve to be loved. But you know what, they have loving parents, and that's more than I ever had. We have to work with what we've got, and this is reality.... The years my kids were in contact with my mother, things happened and were said that I wish I could take back. I don't regret cutting her out of our lives, not for a second.
I'm not saying that that's what you should do, but you do need to stop looking to them for approval. Most likely you won't ever get it, and trying will suck the life out of you. I think that once you recoginze that, you sort of go thru a grieving process, similar to the death of a loved one. But once it's behind you and you've learned to find approval from within only, it's a huge relief.
The book Toxic Parents that Blondie recommended is great. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. Good luck... and an extra congratulations on the baby!!!