Ok, wow. I have read some posts here that are so onesided. Before I go into what I am imagining with be a very long post, I will drop a few opinions of mine.
I am very very very very sick of women labeling men as stupid, mindless, oh so fucking lucky, irresponsible, unloving assholes. Get the fuck over it. We are not all like that. I know of a few women who use abortion as birth control. Almost the most disgusting thing I have ever heard of. If we are so bad, become a lesbian and leave us the fuck alone.
"True" Deadbeat dads are classified in the catagory as above mentioned females. Says EVERYTHING about that guys heart. F all of them. Its your fault that Men who try get f*cked.
I have had sex a few times. And am pretty sure that it involved 2 people. Sometimes one :). A woman has just as much control if not more than a man does. Regardless, if you can bump uglies. YOUR both at fault if that results in a prego.
Don't you love it that you can kill an unborn child who is the result of a rape but not the rapest. Boy, that makes sense. personA punches personB so lets punch personC in retailation.
ok, I am sure i missed some of the points I wanted to make in the above rants but oh well.
Ok I have a 4 year old as a result of an unplanned pregnancy. I was no where near ready for this. It has DRAMATICALLYchanged my life. And in a lot of ways, mainly finacially, they have been negitive. Know what though. I wouldn't give him up for all the money in the world. My mother, who is in need of serious mental help (jk love you mom) after raising my brothers and I on her own, asks me one day "would you jump into a pit of alligators to save your son?" Any parent here doesn't have to think about that answer.
That off the wall question really made me realize what being a parent is all about. And thats the child. They come first. Any sacrifice is worth it for my boy, and its worth it if it helps him in the littlest way become a better person. Anyway my point is that I love my son with all my heart and can not imagine not having him.
That being said. I will share a tidbit of my story that I think ties into this thread perfectly.
I became a father because of a one night stand. We were dumb and were not carefull enough. I knew the woman. We worked together. were from the same small town, she knew my family a little but she KNEW OF THE THEM. So we bump the good ole uglies and shortly afterward and having nothing to do with our sexual encounter I ended up moving 2 hours away. I had no idea whatsoever that she was pregnant.
I found out that I was a father via letter, FROM THE STATE! He was 5 months old when I recieved that lovely, large manilla envelope that changed my life. She couldn't play that "oh i didn't know where you were" card. She could have went to my employer and asked them to give her the number. THEY WOULD HAVE GIVEN IT TO HER. Or just simply drove to my parents place and got a hold of me. But no, not until the state got sick of paying the bills.They choose to find me. NOT her. And because of legalities and plain common sense we had a blood test done. another 2 months go by.
Where were my rights? I was screwed out of being at my only child's birth and first 7 months of life and the one of the first statements i get was to start saving because I have to pay back support for all that time i didn't know! Life is not fair, I know this but come on!
So if you know anything about the child support you know that the courts move at glacier speeds. So 11 months after he is born my child support starts and is back dated through out the pregnancy to then. Thats one big bill considering it was set at 700 a month plus expenses. Nevermind the 7% intrest the state tacks on for "loaning" me that money.
The next 3 years are full of working my ass off to pay CS and then trying to find time when I am not working to get to see my boy. I am not perfect so I can not say that every spare moment I was rushing down to see him. I tried gettin my ducks in a row so I could provide a stable father for him. I tried going to school but could working the 3 jobs and school full time and see him so I droped out. I hope i get a chance to go back soon.
You know what, I work my butt off to pay my support because the whole "a dollar short a day late" rule applies here. I haven't always been able to pay the full amount so I get my license pulled every time i am late. Great, so I can't drive to work or see my kid. That makes a ton of sense. That will help me pay my support not to mention strengthen my relationship with junior. You know what its like going in to pay a fine for "not paying child support"? Oh it doesn't say that its set uber high and I was only short 50 bucks does it? nope. I have been labeled a deadbeat dad by default.
I am so very sick of that bs. I work my rearend off (as anyone from thoms chat can attend to) and get no breaks. Screw all this. In 9 days I will be living very close to my boy and am going to see him all the time. I am moving to a shit hole little town where I will not make very much but I don't care. Call me a deadbeat if you want to. But I am goign to spend every second I can with him. I don't know if i will make enough to pay my bills and pay CS too. CS comes first though, right out of muh check. None of that matters, I am going to be there for the little guy and he is going to get teh pops I didn't.
Moral: Guys do not have it easy. And some of us love our children and will do anything for them. We deserve some rights too. It takes 2 to tango.
I personally do not think that either person should have a opt out. You made the child. Now step up and take care and love that kid! or GET FIXED
Sorry if this is jumbled or hard to read. It is 530 in the morning and get done at 8am and I am working a double shift..again. and have to be back at work at 1pm.....lovely.
**sorry for bad grammer** **actually I am not sorry :-P** Your mostly adults...deal with it.
Oh and btw, when i have sex now. I make sure she is on the pill, wearing a diaphram, uses spermicidal foam and i wear a condom..when its time, i pull out leap from the bed then run out of the room thru the front door and down the street and drop my deposit into a can of gas and light a match. Then, I run back with limpy waggin in the wind and grab the lucky girl and drive her to the drug store, steering clear of the still burning can of man batter, and buy 4 bottles of the morning after pill and force feed her all the contents..including the plastic bottles. Then drive home to my sperm voodoo dolls and start stabbin those little bastards while I cry myself to sleep.