by Terry 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • ballistic

    Somebody who seems genuinely interested. Somebody who isn't all about scoring points at other people's expense. Somebody who can carry on a conversation. Somebody who is amusing and fun to be with.

    They do say though that you decide within 5 seconds, yes or no. Many of the things you said you can't really tell until you get to know someone. There is something else, and unfortunately the word "chemistry" doesn't explain what it is well enough. With online dating, it all happens back to front. You may decide you've found good "qualities" in someone (or they you) after chatting for a bit - and then you meet up and there's nothing. I wonder if what Terry meant is what is that elusive ingredient in the "5 second factor"? edited to say in other words, what is "chemistry" exactly that makes someone decide, "yes" in the first five seconds?

  • luna2

    Hmmmm, you're probably right, ballistic. I'm afraid I have no answer to that. Sorry.

  • serendipity

    Why don't the women out there tell me a couple of things that make you INSTANTLY decide positively for a guy on first meeting.

    Hi Terry,

    I may not the best candidate to answer your question since I will give nearly any man a chance as long as he is not repulsive, dirty (hygiene), sleezy, obese or short, too young or too old, smokes, chews tobacco.

    Here are things I find appealing and that will affect my opinion within a few minutes:

    I like men who smile and make eye contact and appear interested in me as a person. They get my attention quickly if they ask about me, my life, my family, my interests. I am impressed when men honestly answer my questions, even if the answer isn't flattering. I stay interested in men who don't monopolize the conversation, don't lecture and don't assume they have the answers. Negativity is a big turn off. I like men who have a variety of interests and men who ask me for my opinion on matters. Years ago, one guy at work who I didn't initially find attractive asked me "What's your favorite xyz? ". No man had ever asked me that before! That made him much more attractive and I started to seek him out to get to know him better. If he had liked my daughter (or kids in general), I would have dated him. I'm attracted to men who exhibit a passion for things other than sports, politics, drinking, hunting, cars. Good manners go a long way.

    Make the most of what you have physically and to show that you care about yourself. Keep your hair trimmed (don't forget nose and ears). Dress in attractive, clean, pressed clothes that flatter your coloring and that fit well. (Men like to wear earth tones, but very few men look good in those colors. If you have gray hair, steer clear of muddy colors.) Wear nice shoes that are clean. Don't wear white socks or anything worn out. I'd suggest buying some new clothes, shoes and belt to make a good impression. They don't have to be expensive. If you wear cologne, buy one of the newer colognes if you haven't already, then wear it sparingly.

    And just in case you missed it the first time around:

    (Thank collegegirl for reviving it. )

  • Terry


    Superb advice.

    I'm absorbing it into my pores!

    Soon I shall be invincible!

    (That means nobody can see me)


Share this