Cordelia
Being scared that it is the truth is natural and totally acceptable especially as you have been brought up in it as I was. It is however part of the whole mind control tactic and this will only stop when you either change the way you think or spend less time away from such a controlling environment. The process however is gradual.
Another way of controlling peoples thoughts is to operate a system of social control such as peer pressure, how many times have you looked over at the person in the watchtower and felt guilty for not preparing for the meeting? If you arent doing what everyone else is doing how much are you invited to social outings? If you leave you will be shunned - this speaks volumes about the social pressures placed upon people and you yourself have experienced these things yet you are still wondering, still scared.
Let me tell you that that is what they want you to be, humbly in submission to their theorcratic order, i.e scared shitless that you wont get through at Armageddon that you will do almost anything, you will deny yourself of almost everything, all to be accepted.
A book I read which helped me was Combatting Cult Mind Control, by Stephen Hassan; his book is not apostate but is a general overview of how cults whether commercial, religious or otherwise control their members; it also provides some useful strategies to help yourself identify your vulnerable areas and to stay away from controlling environments.
I read it with open mind and was staggered by the similarities between the witnesses and other well known cults in the world.
If you want my copy (as I am finished with it) PM me and I will arrange to send it; you wont look back afterwards.
DB74
