how to behave in judical committee? pls help

by albertjw 51 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • willyloman
    4. If the sin was habitual (took place during long period), does it show that I am unrepentant no matter what I say now?

    Again no.

    Slugga's response is on the money, although I'd be concerned about no. 4. The "flock"book dictates that elders should be wary of a sinner who expresses repentance when the sin was carried out over a long period of time. Depending on the elders who are on your JC and the circumstances of the incident -- and they will probe for details -- this could give them an excuse to DF you, even if you appear to be repentant and shed tears.

    I think you need to think long and hard about a bigger issue here, and that is that you're going to have to give up the girl's name. How does that make you feel? Do you think you have the right to do that? And isn't something terribly wrong with a "judicial" system that forces you to disclose such intimate details when another person is involved?

    "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell" is not just an antiquated slogan, it speaks to an honor code that has stood the test of time.

  • Think

    The aim of the Cult is to KEEP YOU IN THE CULT ! And suck you from money, free labor.

    Everybody in the Cult have to follow the Leader. ( Remember Waco, Jim Jones, Heavenly Gates).

    Some of the members in the Cults may sincerely believe, that God is with the Leader, but Believing in something does not make it RIGHT. Some believe in Holy Cow.

    Some believe that the Earth is flat.

    Some STILL believe that Hitler was a good man.

    For me, I believe in TRUTH.

    And RapeTower is as far away from God, as East from West.

    Get out of the Crazy Cult.

    I know is painfull. But following a LIE is even more paifull.

    Following a LIE is like following a SHADOW.


  • inbyathread

    You will have to tell them the girls name otherwise as already posted you will be seen as unrepentant. Also the time in the congregation will be used for or against you.

    A JC I am familar with involved a girl in a congregation since birth and a boy who recently moved in. Both were DF'd due to the time from the accused sin to when the elders were informed. The JC was 25% questions regarding the sin and 75% questions regarding the elders authority. Subsequent meetings reveal the elders true feelings. The boy is likened to Prince Shechem and the elders actions are like Jacobs sons who had Shechem killed. They had no intention of allowing this boy from ever having or continuing to have a serious relationship with this girl. They were (past tense) engaged to be married.

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Hi albertjw,
    Welcome to the forum. It takes courage to be here and I honour you for that.
    You said that you've apologized to the girl involved. So you've laid bare your sin between the two of you, the only two involved. And I'm sure you've sought Jehovah's forgiveness as well. According to Matthew, that is what must be done. The rest is necessary for the maintenance of the watchtower power structure.
    I can relate to your experience. 6 years ago I was disfellowshipped for porneia. No intercourse, just touching. My "sin" only happened on two occasions and it was I who came forward to confess, almost immediately. My judicial committee was 6 hours long. I was honest, sincere and repentant. Yet they disfellowshipped me anyway. I appealed. I went through another long judicial committee, which said I was indeed repentant but still upheld the decision to disfellowship me. I was out for a year and a half before being reinstated.
    During that time, I had nightmares and flashbacks of my jc experience. The intimate questions, the callous elders, the lack of love and empathy. I tortured myself wondering what more could I have done. What should I have said not to get disfellowshipped? Should I have cried more? Cried less? Said more? Said less? Used a different tone of voice? Wore different clothes? After months of this my doctor diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress due to my jc experience. I was put on stress leave from my job. To this day, 6 years later, I still have the occasional flashback and panic attack because of that jc.
    All the while, I still believed this was the true religion. It was the only reason I was willing to go through all of that hell. I truly believed these men, although abusive, somehow had God's backing. I now know differently.
    After doing a sincere study of the Bible and learning the organization's history and how they've consistently misapplied the Bible, I disassociated myself last August. If I had known during that jc 6 years ago what I know now, I would never have confessed to the elders. These men have no authority over you. They cannot read hearts.
    The reality is no matter how repentant you are, no matter how much you play their game, if they want to disfellowship you, they will. And the mental torture you will go through in the process can be devestating. Make no mistake, it is a game. You may have a sincere loving elder on your jc but it only takes one who's on a power trip to override the other two. This is YOUR life they're messing with. Do you really want to give them that much power?
    All my best to you. Private message me if you'd like to chat further.
    tall penguin


    I was an elder and the P.O.. I have no respect for the organization and for its handling of judicial matters. You need to get out and be done with this mess. However, since that doesn't seem to be your mind-set at this time, here are my suggestions as if I'm still a JW elder. Have you considered talking to the sister and going together to confess your sins to the elders? That would be better for both of you. If she says that she isn't going to confess her wrongdoing, you're on your on with just your word against hers unless you provide another witness to the incidents. This means you could get reproved or disfellowshipped and nothing happens to her. The next thing to think about is if she doesn't confess, nothing happens to her but her reputation is ruined. Elders and their wives gossip. Committee meeting are the next best thing to having sex among some elders and they tell their wives all the juicy details. The other thing is if you go and confess your sins and refuse to name her as your cohort, this is considered as a non-repentant act. This increases your chances of disfellowshipping. If indeed you both have stopped the acts of porneia and some time has elapsed since the last sexual episode, it does show restraint on both your parts and is viewed favorably by most elders. I once sat on a judicial committee where a young sister pioneer and her MS boyfriend, to whom she was engaged, did the same things you're admitting to. Three months passed with no further incidents before they confessed to the elders. He was publicly reproved in his congregation. She was privately counseled, not reproved in ours. As P.O., I caught hell for that one from the C.O.. I felt like she had reproved herself enough emotionally for the months that had elapsed. With her strong sense of guilt, it nothing short of pure torture for her. Why should we on the committee discipline someone who had disciplined themselves? The C.O. said when a judicial committee is formed and wrong-doing is confessed, them minimum discipline is private reproof. The C.O. didn't go against our decision but he wasn't too happy with me. I hope this information helps you out whatever decision you make. As I said before, so shall I say again, LEAVE THIS ORGANIZATION. You're just a young man doing what comes natural and that's not a sin except in the eyes of these judgemental bastards.

  • IronClaw

    Hey Billyboy, Why don't you tell him just how JC meetings really are conducted.

    • Cant bring anyone with you
    • 3 or more elders to you alone
    • They control the meeting, when you ask questions they are usually sidestepped
    • No recordings????? WHY????? ( Are they afraid of saying something wrong )
    • Sounds like Witch trials to me
    • Where's the Justice?
    • In the Bible they took cases to the PUBLIC SQUARES ( dust off your bible its in there )
  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    There is no one that comes between you and the one that died for your sins. No one else can know your heart, or judge your repentance, except for God. That is a very personal thing. No institution, body of elders, or single person, can judge your repentance, or require you to attend a meeting of men, themselves sinners, to judge your repentance, your value to God, or whether you will live on in the new world order. For, the time you are being shunned by these equally value-less men in the eyes of God, you are not part of the body of Christ, and you are already dead and therefore not worth anything in God's eyes. Armagheddon could come at this time and you could be permanently dead, in their version of reality, because they *say so*.

    Who are you, a mere human, or any *other* mere human, to stand in the place of GOD to judge your worthiness for existence on this Earth? I think they, and you, are presuming alot. Who died and made THEM God? Nobody. But *somebody* died, and it was Jesus, and he made it so you can be ASSURED of living on in whatever life he will make for you, if you accept him as your Christ.

    JW's are so presumptuous as to configure their little human lives, not so much more than ants ona pile of dirt, and presume to act in the place of the Almighty: directing everyone's lives, making them feel guilty for not putting in enough time, not doing enough in the congregation, and forming these little tiny ant-like conferences to decide whether to put the worker ant out and make him feel like crap, when the BIG GUY says that we are all saved by Grace, and that our repentance is through prayer and with HIM.

    If you'd like to stay in the "Christian" congregation, well then, that's totally up to you. I would advise that you take responsibility for your actions, but I'd also think you'd like to act in the name of honor and not reveal details, which is undignified, disrespectful and downright invasive to your accompaniment. Say you will accept punishment for YOUR actions, but you are not ratting out the lady, who is responsible for her OWN part in the sins.

    I know it does't work like that, but please be an honorable man and just take responsibility for your own part, and not rat out other people. There's nothing worse than a tattle tale.


  • bennyk

    James 5:16 (NWT): "Therefore openly confess YOUR sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may get healed." No Clergy/Laity distinction there.

    You confessed your sin to US. WE will pray for you. You will be healed.

    Do NOT go to the Elders: that is a self-inflicted wound. Go your way and sin no more.

  • MinisterAmos

    1. Lie. Are there two witnesses. If not, say it is not true and lie. If there are two or more witnesses, you can't do this.

    2. (pretend to) feel veryy sorry what you did. This only works if it is done only a single time or very few times, and/or if you report it yourself. If the behaviour is repeated much, there is les chance they will fall for this. You already say that it is repeated behavoir. But when it is long time ago, you can say that you fell so sorry now, and that it is long since stopped. What is very important in this case if it is found out, or you tell yourself.

    Hey man if you have more than one witness that means a THREESOME! You DA MAN!!! Admit nothing. Even though they talk out of their a$$e$ about the importance of truth, WT has said that lying is OK.

  • diamondblue1974
    I know some will bash me on here for helping him stay in but heres a bloke looking for help, someone who's family is deeply involved. I don't have the heart to see someone cast out and shunned by his family by those bastards because he made a boo boo .

    Nah...theres no need to bash you matey... shows true compassion which is more than what this poor bloke will get at his Judicial Committee Meeting.


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