So why are you going to "turn yourself in" anyway?
Trust me....Jehovah does not keep watch over the congo....I know 4 or 5 friends that were committing grave sins the whole time they kept getting "promoted" up the ranks. First to MS, then to elders. All the while living a lie. What happened to these so called brothers getting prayed over at Bethel before they are asked to serve? Pretty crappy system if you ask me.
Why has the Watchtower been wrong so many times about the end of "the system of things"? My parents kept telling me I would never go to pre-school before the end...then it was elementary school....then jr. high...then high school...then college.....still blab about it coming tomorrow. It's been 30 years. Pfft.
Read old Watchtower magazines....and Society quotes. They are embarrasing. http://www.reexamine.org/quotes/
how to behave in judical committee? pls help
So why are you going to "turn yourself in" anyway?
Hi Albert - I'm an elder in Britain. Most of the responses you will get will be very negative - "get out of this cult" etc - as they are from apostates & very bitter & twisted ex-witnesses (many of whom have been DF on porneia grounds themselves). You will get probably 50 posts today - they don't get many existing witnesses posting & you will be a minor celebrity & regarded as easy meat for opposers!
My response having served on many JC is - be honest & open. The elders aim is to "gain you" as a brother - not vindictively disfellowship you. DF is absolutely a final option. Tell the facts & how you feel. Pray to Jehovah. The passage of time isn't necessarily a factor - it is a positive matter that you want to get the matter sorted out.
The above poster is an elder? Do as I say not as I do? What is he doing on an a so called 'apostate' board himself? Right here it should show you how hypocritical the society is. His blanket statement about people here is just wrong. Some people were df'd for not believing a certain doctrine, some for being sexually abused, many different reasons. I myself was never even a jw so technically not even an apostate.
You should ask yourself if some mere men in your community are truly acting biblical when they require these intimate details. As an outsider you can not see how very perverted that looks to me! By them asking for such details they are much worse than men who watch pornography, the difference is their pornography is verbal instead of with actual pictures which their own imaginations supply. To me, elders are the perverts of the society. Always wanting intimate details that do nothing but arouse the elders. They serve no other purpose. They will just df you anyway after they get all the 'juicy ' details from you.
Do you honestly believe the Lord would require you to tell such details to mere men? Where is this in the Bible? Why are these men able to decide if you are 'repentent' enough? what is 'enough'? How did they learn to read men's hearts?
Well said Carla. Couldn't have put it better myself.
apostates & very bitter & twisted ex-witnesses (many of whom have been DF on porneia grounds themselves)
Speak for yourself billyboy. It's obvious who the wa***r is here.
billyboy was right, the elders do not want to d/f people for things like porneia so if you act really sorry, as you sound you are, you will generally get away with it. If you are really worried about the other sister approach the sister and then go together, say you were both feeling guilty and discussed it and felt you needed to confess. That way you should both be able to get off.
On the other hand, I know for a fact that Holy Spirit does not direct the WTS. I know brothers that have been habitually committing sins for up to 20 years and still have not been caught. I know brothers appointed as elders whilst committing fornication. So you would be better forgetting about it and moving on with you life.
Better still, research the Watchtower history and see the number of mistakes that the Governing Body has made. The number of failed time prophecies. That they have made substantial changes in doctrine such as worshipping Jesus up until the 1950's. Read the posts here and sites like jwfacts.com. It is not worth ruining your life over the guilt of a religion that is not truly following the word of God.
Billyboy maybe you should start being honest with yourself as well and think whether you are interested in truth, or will do anything it takes to prove you have 'The Truth', regardless of the facts.
As the others have said, I don't know why you are contemplating turning yourself in? Is whatever you did about to come out via other people so you are trying to minimize the damage or are you feeling so guilty that you want to confess?
I once thought that it was important to "keep the congregation clean", I have since found out that many others don't have such a delicate conscience. They live double lives while enjoying a good reputation within the congregation and somehow Jehovah never finds out. Even if Jehovah does give a rip, this business of the elders acting as intermediaries between you and Him is disgusting. The JWs like to criticize the Catholic religion, but here they are mimicking Catholic priests by listening to confession, and even worse, determining guilt and then punishment.
I'd pray to your God yourself for forgivness if that's what you feel is necessary and not put yourself or the young lady involved through the ringer. From what I've heard, these JCs can be brutal, emotionally exhausting and abusive...all so a bunch of imperfect men can condemn you.
I find it sad that human sexuality is degraded and made to feel dirty by a bunch of extremely old men in Brooklyn.
oh fake 'em baby....they are told not to be fooled by tears but generally that applys to women...if a man cries then men tend to view this as either contrition or weakness...either way they are unlikely to find you guilty of deliberate wilful wickedness...
i tried the stiff upper lip. tell the whole truth and nothing but, the holy spirit will do the rest line of reasoning.
they df-ed me
and the only time they acknowledged that i was showing signs of repentance was when i finally, after a year and a half, broke down and cried.
and by this time it wasnt cos i was sorry anymore.
so my advice...cry like a baby....cry cry cry and then cry some more..
it will be demeaning undignified and ultimately disillusioning
and thats what they want to see
Porneia is no big deal - in fact, almost nothing is a "big deal", except for one thing: Asking questions about 607/1914/1919/children abuse/legalism/authority. Repent, and you'll be pardoned for anything - except for asking questions.
Good luck Albert. What you're doing takes guts. It may not be the road others would choose but you have to do what you feel is right.
Be honest and sincere. For the elders to truly feel that you're repentant for what you've done you'll have to give up the sisters name. She needs spiritual guidance and adjustment as much as you do - in their opinion.
Remember, the forgiver of sins isn't the congregation or elder body but Jehovah God based on his son's ransom sacrifice. Make sure you sincerely approach him in prayer over the matter and ask his forgiveness.
I would like to add that I wish you would stick around and see much of what is written here has merit.
Again, good luck. I hope you are able to maintain your family relationships through this difficult time.
I'm no elder, but I think tijkmo hit it on the head.
it will be demeaning undignified and ultimately disillusioning and thats what they want to see
I don't think you can go through this AND maintain your dignity. I WOULD SUGGEST to the girl that YOU GO FIRST, DO REFUSE TO SAY HER NAME. Let her watch what it's like for you and she can make up her own mind if she wants to confess. Lie and say the person is no longer in the congregation. Don't be fooled. They may say they already know who it is but don't. Give no identifying information up. If this is one dignified act you can accomplish, do it. It will be a gift to her.
Meekly ask to submit to any discipline the elders may have in mind. DF'ing is not so bad. Six more months of humility and you'll be back in.