the seven year itch

by Crumpet 125 Replies latest jw friends

  • Crumpet

    ex -mr crumpet and I after just shy of 8 years together have found we are arguing more and more and have decided to split up. Since we made the decision on Monday this week we have been getting on like a house on fire.

    The arguments have stopped, he is on time for all his appointments to meet, which hasn't happened in years, he phones if he's going to be late and I have stopped being a moody cow and drinking all his wine without permission.

    The hope is that we will get back together and find eahc other attractive again after a break from one another. Has anyone else broken up a relationship after a long time and what were the results? Did you get back together?

  • slugga

    Sorry to hear that but it sounds like you both needed a pressure release and have found it.

    Sometimes couples do need a break and a chance to appreciate and miss one another.

  • Crumpet

    I hope it works in our favour. At the moment it doesn't seem real though. I've been with him most of my adult life! he's abit older so its not such a significant chunk of him invested. I can't move out until after my operation so nothing is being rushed. At least we are a lot more relaxed and calm and our sense of humour has returned. we've even created a imaginary line down the middle of the bed to avoid inadvertently touching each other - I call it the Maginot Line.

    I said if he wanted to start dating that I would try and cope with that, but it would be difficult. i can't really imagine going out with another bloke, but I do think there might be a gorgeous woman out there for me!

  • slugga


    Sod that !

    Now that the pressures off you both and you're both relaxed around one another get him to take you out for a meal or something, talk over the good times and start "dating" again.

    that is if you want to

  • tijkmo
    we've even created a imaginary line down the middle of the bed to avoid inadvertently touching each other - I call it the Maginot Line

    ha ---- i called it hell.

  • Spectrum

    "Has anyone else broken up a relationship after a long time and what were the results? Did you get back together?"

    Several times but everytime we got back together we also got back into the routine that got us separated.
    It was obvious that we were going round in circles so we broke up for good. I think had either one of us found someone else between the breakups we would have not got back together. So getting back together had alot to with being with someone, espcially one you are used to, than no one, rather than that we really missed each other and couldn't be apart.
    I've been without her since and much better for it, not that she was a bad girl, if anything she was the better person of the two of us.

    Crumpet check that this isn't happening to you or him.
    Oh yes we lasted 7 years on and off.

  • arrowstar

    Dear heart, I do hope things can work for you as you hope. The thing about "ex-sex" is that it can be very passionate and if there hasn't been that "spark" in awhile that makes it all the hotter. Speaking from experience, the spark will fade and people return to old habits and behaviors.

    Sometimes, it's just best for the cowboy to ride off into the sunset so you can get on with your life. It'll hurt like hell for a time but you'll be better off in the long run.

    just my 2 cents....


  • Crumpet

    Tij and Arrow thats what I am hoping that it will be "hell" followed by hot ex-sex. He said he wasn't sexually attracted to me anymore. And I appreciated his honesty. Mainly its just got stale and I think we are holding each other back from achieving things we want to.

    Slugga its way too soon for us to date each other - meals and things stuff. We've doen all that - there's no spark. We're bored. and our boredom with each other is makign us nasty to each other and causing arguments. Do we stay together for the sake of old times and make each other miserable or shoudl we just call it a day and move on and stay friends. We decided the latter, with the option to get back together.

    And yes I said he could see other women, because I want to see other women. He's been callign me a lesbian for years - I might as well find out if I am! hehe!

    I'm feeling quite jolly about everything now but when the tiem comes to really leave that could be very painful. I'll miss him terribly as a boyfriend although if I play my cards right we can still be friends and better as friends than as a couple maybe.

  • arrowstar

    Sometimes you can be better friends than spouses. I know my son's father (ex#2) and I get along better now than when we were married. Long story I'll share with you over margaritas some day.

    And you're's going to be painful. Breaking any habit is tough. But, you're beautiful and a delight to know. You'll be happy, there's no doubt of that in my mind.


  • wanderlustguy

    I split up with my current gf and we both dated others...definitely gave us both a new appreciation for each other.

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