by BlessedStar 77 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Senario1
Matt: Hey Jdog, how's it hangin bra?
Jesus: Bow before me you insolent fool!!
Matt: Ahh J, why you gotta be that way, I used to think you were cool.
Jesus: Wha?? come on man Jesus still cool...
Senario2
*Zap*
Senario3
Matt: Hey Jdog, sup brother?
Jesus: Just here to clean up Xiandoms mess
Matt: I hear ya, say hi to buddha next time you see him
Jesus: Right on man
My favorite
Senario4
Matt: Hey Jdog, toke?
Jesus: Right on!
Jesus is with us Always
whether we want Him to be or not
Oh I almost forgot. If that coward/bully wants to burn me in hell for any amount of time, let him.
"Chap, you really need to do something about your followers. They are going crazy down here, You really need to reel them in and get them under control. How about a new book? Out with the old and new testament, in with the new easy to understand christianity for dummies.
You could do with just spelling things out for these people, perhaps start off with the the fact that you can't just knock up a functioning earth in six days and that these things take time even if you are god. Perhaps you could cover the whole killing people is always bad thing as well, as not all your followers caught that one last time round. Obviously I don't want to tell granny how to suck eggs but you really left a mess last time you were here so sort it out.
Oh any chance of a bit of the old healing miracle while you're here?
(Keeping in mind that God is the Judge and some people will go to heaven and most will burn in hell!!)
That thought alone amuses me.
I would say to him:
"Wow, I never thought you'd be so kind and non-judgemental since that is how so many of your followers, such as BS, act!"
BS in emphasis for the obvious reasons.
What would I say?
Nice to see ya around but I really feel that the number you're trying to reach is no longer in service. If you feel you've reached this message in error, please hang up and try again.
Lisa
I'd ask him what the H in 'Jesus H Christ' stands for.
steve
I'd say "Hey, are you that insecure that you need everyone to worship you before you'll be their friend?"
You've heard about Jesus.You've choosen to believe or not to believe.
You've accepted Jesus or you haven't.
Let's say Jesus came down now for His people.What would you do or say to Jesus if you now know He is true?
I suspect the Flying Spaghetti Monster is far more likely to make an appearance. http://www.venganza.org/
I'd express my sympathy for his having to spend the next eternity with "His people".
