I'm so conflicted (page 5)

Frannie Banannie

That will be something new for me -- no judgments? I can think, feel and say what I want without fear of being taken into the "little room in the back?" I won't know how to act.

LOL, Joyal! That's assuming you're not an *sshole, chere!

Frannie

Joyal

Thanks again, everyone (I seem to keep saying that over and over again -- but I really do mean it. I am overwhelmed)

JWFacts - I especially appreciated your analysis. It describes me to a tee. I also read your "5 minutes" piece and I thought you must have gotten inside of my head and wrote down my thoughts! I actually sent that to two of my JW friends who are also having major doubts.

I was raised in a religion that forbade women from wearing pants, makeup, lots of jewelry and your skirts had to very long. Then in my late teens I found the JW's and had a whole other set of "rules". Unfortunately I think I have been in prison to organized religion for the entire length of my life. Thanks to all of your advice, I woke up this morning determined to slowly try to "break the chains", but I do think I will need professional help to do this. Fortunately (or luckily - I can say that now, right!!??) the company I work for has a program to provide emotional help when needed so I think I will give them a ring.

Joyal

slugga

Unfortunately I think I have been in prison to organized religion for the entire length of my life

Hey, dontcha know, "the truth will set you free"

:)

our truth not "theirs"

Happy for you Matt

sass_my_frass

Wow, welcome Joyal, and congratulations on finding LIFE!! Don't panic, just expect to take things slowly, I don't know how you can 'speed up' the process, as it's a big deal to realise that everything you've ever been told is a lie. I think though that now that you've opened your mind to other possibilities, it's going to get a lot easier soon.

Sorry about your depression, just take things carefully. DO find somebody to talk to about it, you can't keep it all inside, say a counsellor, or failing that just use us for now, we've every one of us been right where you are.

Much love to you!

greendawn

Welcome to the forum Joyal, like so many others you also came to realise the truth about the JWs that they are not what they claim to be and that they certainly don't lead to any paradise those that blindly follow them. Despite the turmoil at first, things will clear up soon.

TopHat

Hi Joyal, ((((HUGS))))...Yes the book COC can be depressing when you find out a few men sitting around a table have controlled your life for a long time and it is all hoax. I have the book COC and everytime I pick it up and read a chapter, I to become depressed but only for a moment. Still I feel I must read the whole book to understand the message. I will go for days before I open the book again and read a little more.

Glad to see you here Joyal

liquidsky

This thread is making me all teary eyed.

(((((((Joyal))))))) Welcome!

serendipity

((( Joyal))) welcome to the forum!

TMS

Joyal,

I still recall my first hesitant post to JW.net, a purported pro-JW site with strong undercurrents. Hitting the "submit" button was a nerve-wrenching experience.

Looking back, I know with 50+ years as a JW and nearly a decade out, I cannot erase my witness past. I can only understand and learn from it.

tms

Joyal

Hi again to all and thanks for your "hugs" and encouragement to "talk" through my issues on this site. It has helped a lot.

Tophat - your comment struck me as right on point. I did believe in a Governing "Body" that sat in a room and prayerfully and solemnly discussed issues to find godly answers. What a shock and surprise to learn of the reality! Especially the Malawi/Mexico issue and the fact that, for lack of the required number of votes, people lost their lives. It was almost too upsetting to continue reading -- but I did. And I still have not completed my "blood" information card from last year because it just didn't make any sense to me. I had been hoping to get a better understanding this year, but now I feel it will just be another "song and dance routine" like it was last year so I don't even want to hear it.

Much love to everyone here. Will now venture out to see some of the other discussions going on. Many times during my year of "lurking" I wanted to answer a question or tell of something I personally experienced, but I never could because I didn't want to register on an "apostate" web-site. Well now I can contribute because I finally see that neither Ray Franz nor any of you "thinking" people measure up to the WTS' definition of apostasy. Your eyes have simply been opened and you are helping others to open theirs as well, and that is a good thing.

Joyal

I'm so conflicted

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