Bizarre JW stories of enduring hardship

by Vormek2.8 43 Replies latest jw friends

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  katiekitten

  found something given to him by a jw telling him to remain 'strong' and how difficult this past year has been for him. Poor thing.

  Crikey Carla what an insult to you.

  Id be tempted to write a real nice card back saying how much you appreciate the concern shown for your husband, he needs all the help he can get, it really is hard for him, especially when you do the goat ritual every night with the local wicca coven, he also struggles at mealtimes because you only ever cook animals sacrificed to graven images (the graven images you keep in the front room on the mantle piece), he finds it hard to do his personal study because every wednesday is Lesbian Porn night, and he has to sit in the downstairs toilet all evening to avoid the naked girls wandering round, and it upsets him that you use the literature as loo roll (well, its so absorbent and the ink doesnt run).
• 

  carla

  hahaha, Kattie,

  Oh I've been tempted to all of that and more! Instead it just pisses me off and I will probably go off delivering even more antiwitness literature and leaving them in more local public places. Though I need to print off a few more, using our jointly owned supplies of course! So he actually has a hand in helping to pay for my antiwitness activities. Ain't life grand?
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  LittleToe

  I'm not doing anything this Wednesday. Can I come?

  "Oh, just a little bit of peril" Holy Grail
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  katiekitten

  Only if you bring the spatula of righteousness, LT.
• 

  LittleToe

  I also have a Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
• 

  Sunspot

  ***Oh yes all the TRUE stories of poor African brothers in the desert walking uphill 20 miles to the meetings in heavy snow. How fortunate we are.... to not believe the crap!

  LOL @ G Money....My buddy JT gives the example of the poor African sister who has to wade through piranha-infested waters to get to the meetings....and wonders why the WTS couldn't provide one small raggedy old school-bus to transport her and her family to the KH! It sounds funny when he says it....but the truth behind this is that the WTS can well afford to provide for its members FAR BETTER than it does!

  Do they really NEED yet another high-rise building on prime real estate in NYC....or would the brotherhood in Africa that sits on mats swatting moths and mosquitoes while learning how to "pitch, pace and pause for effect"---be better served with a comfortable KH??? I guess we ALL know where the WTS priorities lie, and its NOT with the comfort of the brothers that slave fr them.

  ***I could never see the point of those stories.

  KKitten,

  They are told to make the JWs in the more affluent countries sit up and take notice of how great they have things! In other words, a not so subtle way of saying kwitcherbitchin to those that are tiring out from the heavy burden placed upon them BY Mother.

  ***I think the Malawi stories, while real (probably), were the 'tabloid' shock value of the time. I think they were supposed to be inspiring, but instead they scared the living crap out of all of us kids.....

  TallTexan....

  KIDS??? They gave ME nightmares and I was in my mid-thirties at the time! The things we were told about giving entire congregations a concoction similar to ExLax and making them walk through the streets to humiliate them.....tying them up to trees or poles and leaving them for hours while fire ants ate them alive, and various other tantalizing tales.....I lived in horror that things would get that bad here in the US and dreamed about it a lot.

  Annie
• 

  katiekitten

  miraculous stories circulating in the evangelical churches

  Jgnat, with all repsect, your evangelical stories are pants compared to the Jehoobah ones arent they?

  I mean, come on, how does praying in the crapper compare with teleportation through a fence when an angry mob is chasing you??

  I can just picture it - this mob of leather jacketed bikers waving metal bars and garden implements (they'd run past some allottments while chasing the Jehoobah man). He ducks down an alley, they follow, he realises hes made a terrible mistake, theres a 6ft high chainlink fence just a metre away. The gang slow down, savouring the catch. 'Weve got you now, Jehoobah man', they taunt him. The pack instinct takes over, they begin to salivate at the thought of kicking the living bejeesus out of him (kind of ironic!). They rush forward as a single unit and 'poof' they smack into the chain link, the diamond pattern etched into their hatred twisted features. On the other side of the fence the jehoobah man dusts down his book bag. Slowly, as the gang watches, he takes a Watchtower out of his bag, rolls it into a small cone, and pokes it through the chain lnk fence. 'Weve been asking folks if they think there will ever be an end to violence' he asks.

  Compared to - theres this man in a concentration camp who wants to pray, so god tells the guards to make him clean out the crapper. Now if god had made it a self cleaning crapper that smelled of lavendar when he went in there for a prayer, and made is smell like stench of dead fish when the guards went in - now THAT would have been good!

  Surely that proves that the Jehoobahs are the true religion, because god does WAY better things for them than for other religions!
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  Clam

  I used to hate those stories. About Africans walking 30 miles to each meeting, about Australians shoving tracts up wallabies arses and abbos finding them and getting the truth,

  Surprisingly this is how I first came across the Truth, when an aborigine in a bar said to me " Look fellah, just found this up a wallabies arse".
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  katiekitten

  My god. I KNEW it was true!!

  Let that be a lesson to you Clam. Dont beleive every tract issueing from a rodents backside.
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  LDH

  Great topic, they were bizarre.

  My father (not speaking to me Class) sent me a copy of a letter that he mailed to the County Sheriff because he and his car group got harrassed in service about two months ago.

  Apparently the "householder" was yelling and screaming and then hopped in his car and sped past my father close enough to scare him without hitting him.

  The reaction, including the letter 'witnessing' to the Sheriff, were classic. I'll try to get the old scanner up and running tonight.

  Lisa