PROGRAMED – working out the dark side in art

by seven006 69 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat

    I waited to see your repy, seven, before I commented on your picture. I am glad you took my meaning.

    The keys/nails make me wince. The clown-eyes are the mask covering the...pain?

    Here's one of my best. I traded it for a very fine bit of venetian glass. It's my son, pre-schizophrenic, with the dog.

  • seven006


    I clicked on your link and nothing showed up. Can you try again to load it here somehow? I know I can’t link work to this site. It tends to not like Mac’s.I'd really love to see it.

    OK, here it goes, a brief glimpse into my head through this one particular piece of art. This image even though it looks to be an adult persons head has more to do with how I felt growing up but depicts how I now perceive it as an adult.

    The programming of my brain began when I was around four years old when my mom became a JW and eventually divorced my dad when I was around five.

    The programming began with weekly studying of that piece of shit big orange paradise book and regularly attending meetings. Even as a little kid things did not make sense to me between what I was being taught and how I really felt about things. I was being programmed with the thoughts and teachings of (at that time) a one hundred year old cult that their main claim to fame in my mother’s eyes was very different than the catholic religion she was brought up in. They used “the bible” in their meetings and bible studies and that impressed my mom because they barely cracked open a bible during the whole time she was a catholic. So to her, they must know what they were talking about.

    Things slowly started to change. No birthdays, no Christmas and no more feeling right associating with the neighborhood kids. My concept of what was right and wrong were slowly being programmed into my mind and strongly conflicting with what I thought was normal and right.

    The old style typewriter keys represent the watchtower cult leaders and their organization. Their 100 year old mentality as well as their mid 1800’s view on “kids should been seen and not heard” was putting me in my place with every twisted religious concept and male ego driven organizational power trip.

    This crap, not only the religious doctrine but also the Victorian driven “recognize your place and just accept it” was being forced into my mind, personality, psychological makeup and depth of (or more the lack of depth of) character.

    Even at a young age, I knew something was wrong and what I was being taught just didn’t seem right.

    The mask shown by the clown type makeup around the eyes depicts the double life I was being forced to accept because of what I was being forced to think and feel and what I really thought and felt. I had to hide my true feeling and thoughts behind a mask of acceptance and compliance to do what every kid has a natural desire to do. Please their parents and do what ever it takes to gain their love and acceptance. For a kid growing up with JW parents, that means accepting the absurd desires and teachings of a money hungry printing company disguised as a religious cult. They disguised who they really are so it forced me to hide behind a mask and do the same thing just to try and find some balance in my life and feel a little normal.

    The hands and polished fingernails depict several things. The hand on the right is more masculine, powerful and ominous looking. That depicts the male driven cult that is controlling the minds of their followers with fear and power. The hand on the left (or right hand) is more of a androgynous looking hand that is smaller but just as predominate when it comes to the programming of a child’s mind. This hand depicts my mom and how the watchtower changed her from a loving mother figure to a puppet like tool of their own agenda driven beliefs and interpretations on every aspect of life. This tool (who was once my mom) was used to program my mind as apposed to really getting to know me and help me grow or giving the kind of love a mother should. The androgynous aspect of the hand shows how it has taken on the characteristics of the more masculine power driven hand of the watchtower cult leaders.

    The polished fingernails depict the true nature of the cult that cares more about how they look than how they really are. Constant changing of their views and interpretations without ever admitting they are wrong, but instead calling their mistakes and flat out wrong predictions “new light”. It has never been about who they are but more important and absolutely more essential, it has been how they look. The polished nails are a lame attempt to detract attention from the ominous looking and manipulative hands and divert it to the painted over dirty fingernails as an attempt to look like something they are not.

    The eyes shown in a wide open manner and looking up depicts observing myself being manipulated but not fully understanding it at the time. They are looking up not completely seeing the hands manipulating them but in the direction of observing authority with the fear of obedience but with a questionable and watching eye. They are brown and glassed over because a glassed over look means a state of confusion and psychological intoxication. They are brown because…well, my eyes are brown.

    The background means other things as well as the blur to the right side of the face. They are not as important as the things I have described above and I’m tired of typing and the Seahawks are down by 7 points so I gotta go.

    That’s it. That’s what this piece means to the person who did it.


  • jgnat

    Thank you. You gave more than I asked, a high compliment among artists. Here's another go at posting my art.

  • seven006


    That is a great painting! I didn’t know you were so talented. Given your explanation of what came from, it is even more fascinating. Fantastic job.

    The long drawn out explanation of the piece was more for Lady Lee to read. I think she has been trying to figure out how the squirrel cage rolling around in my head worked for quite a while. It’s easy to understand by most people on this board but it has raised a few eyes on the art related DB I post on. They think I’m very talented but also very dark. Go figure.


  • Quentin

    Nice work Dave...I like...

  • Sunnygal41
    The fingers jump out at me, probably intentional, but I need to sit down and figure out what it is that catches me. This is artisically well done, but there is something else there.

    Big T, I felt the exact same thing!!! I think it may be the fact that the hands look very plastic..........and, the fingernails are that sickish green.........and the face........the eyes are so haunted........when I saw the face, I thought of those Harlequin children.........remember the big eyed children the sister used to paint during the late 60-s early 70-s? Same sort of sadness.........hopelessness..........and yet, they are wearing clown paint and we associate clowns with gaiety, childhood happiness.........."the tears of a clown"....comes to mind......very very expressive, Dave. I like.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Wow Dave

    If you’re trying to get into my head and figure out if I hate my mommy, good luck. I don’t even know who she is anymore. Just like of a lot of us here, my upbringing and programmed warped perspective of reality has distorted my past and only left me trying to pick up the pieces and figure it all out several paces behind the rest of the human race. Some times it’s interesting because of my old perspective on things and sometimes it just pisses me off.

    Well I didn't have to do much figuring, now did I? You handed it thank you. I am fascinated by your descriptions. They mirror so exactly my own feelings and experience with the Borg and my mother.. You picked up on many things that I missed so thank you for that.

    After reading your thoughts and feelings about the piece I have a question. (Yea I know I can be a pain so don't answer if you don't want to especially on an open forum)

    While you are working does it just come out or does it come out first and later you find meaning to the parts?

    I write. But when I do write the thougts to start having been rolling around in my head for a while before I start putting anything on paper. My writer's group says I am doing it backwards and I should just write and pick out the good stuff and elaborate on them.

    JG awesome piece - wishing now I could paint instead of write - or maybe do both

  • ringo5

    I don't imagine Dave wanted this thread to be about him as opposed to his art, but this is about more than just art isn't it?

    Put me down in the "I think Dave does give a shit" column.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    It's about the art

    but then the art is an expression of the self and the experience of the self

    I just find it fascinating how the expression of the self winds up on the page regardless of the medium used

  • seven006


    The large majority of the time, in my fine art work, I pretty much put a piece of art together in my head with all the details long before I start the actual physical piece of art. Other times I have a strong concept in mind and it does get adjusted here and there as the piece is developing. More now since I am all digital than before when I used traditional paints, brushes and substrates.

    My commercial art is a different process since it is done for other people and trying to illustrate their personal vision and priorities.

    This piece as well as the rest that will come from this series I have worked out in my head many years ago. Details have been adjusted as the image has progressed in my mind through the years largely due to changing mediums and my understanding of advancing technology and it’s ability to help express concepts. This series has not only been pushed on me by some of my artist friends through the years but is also a personal thing that I have encouraged other young artists to do but have avoided doing myself. It’s a personal project meant for me to get it out of my head and in front of my eyes.

    As far as how it all works from concept to art, I, like some who think like me have always seen things as pictures in their mind. I think in this imaging process manner so I can understand concepts better as a mental graphic and store them better in my mind. It’s easier for me to understand as well as make sense of things and then try to explain them using other forms of communication besides art.

    I think it’s a brain glitch that I was born with.


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