I dunno, Rebel8, from the way I read this, your mother doesn't seem to enjoy being at the parties you host, and seems to thnk it's a free-for-all for her to vent her (JW) opinions and see how much of her influence over you she can get away with. If I am out of place, feel free to correct me.
When certain people in my life have proven time and time again that they behave in badly in matters like this---I am forced to make a choice as to what is the best all around---allowing them to continue on this way, or taking the bull by the horns and telling them that you just will not be putting up with this nonsense for one more moment.
If they don't comply---they are the ones acting like a skunk at a garden party---not you, and making other guests (and you) feel uncomfortable is not acceptable anywhere or under any circumstances! Tell her----then let it go. What have you lost, other than aggravation and all the angst you can put into a basket?
SHE is the one at fault, and has done this far too often for it to be a slip of the tongue or a mistake. Let her stew in her own juices a while until she apologizes...or doesn't. Put it back onto her shoulders since she's the one causing the problems!
It sounds like such fun, and all the work and preparation should not be thrown into the dumper because of one person's selfish behavior! Looking back now, I can see where I made many mistakes and let toxic people make much to much worry for me and my family. I wished I had been brave enough to act on it as I'm advising you to do. I was always so worried about "what would they think if I set them straight on MY feelings---and that they might not LIKE me any more". NOW I am fair but firm about letting these people treat me badly in fear of displeasing them.....most times they don't really "approve" of us (me) to begin with, so it's high time to get down and sort this out once and for all time!
just my 2 cents...
Annie.............who owes Rebel8 a PM when I can....I didn't forget.....