JWs & Trying to Ruin Others' Holidays (long vent)

by rebel8 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • rebel8

    Well here I go with my annual holiday stress thanks to my JW relatives............if you are wondering why I'm on this forum after not being a JW myself for so long, there's your explanation.

    I realize they have their beliefs against the holidays but it is soooooooo inappropriate to subvert others' participation in holiday celebrations, isn't it? (rhetorical question there) I mean, if I did it to them they'd claim I was persecuting them! I have decided I am going to tell them to stop persecuting me! (exclamation points because I'm really mad)

    Examples--my mother is playing her usual manipulation games, this time it happens to be with my guest list for a dinner party. Long story short, she told some lies so as to get me to have my dinner on a certain date which she knows is the same date some of the guests are not available to attend. Now it is too late to change it to a date when everyone is available; thus we will not be spending it together and yet another attempt at family bonding is avoided. What a great religion!

    JW mother tries to take over the party by insisting I do not play holiday music or exchange gifts. I just say uh-huh and do whatever I please anyway. I am now going back through my decorations to see if there is any way I can put up more, just to piss her off. I bought some XMas cookie cutters so I can make really Christmasy cookies. Perhaps I will lead everyone in singing "O Holy Night" too, LOL.

    Some of the non-jw relatives are so "harassed" (their word) by her, they decline my invitations for XMas Eve dinner and XMas morning brunch. (I tell them it is important to me, just ignore her, etc. but they don't--bad choice on their part but still inappropriate on my mother's part.) Of course she has no problem celebrating Easter and Thanksgiving because she does it at my siblings' house who are JW apologists.....so that makes it all ok.

    Anyway.......I am now recalling things done as a JW. For example--my mother told my siblings to sit on Santa's lap, pull his beard off in front of the other kids and say they don't believe in Santa, and they did it--upset a bunch of kids in the mall. I recall other JWs telling their kids XMas lights are ugly and bad, and one in particular slapping her 1-yr-old's hand for cooing and pointing to the XMas lights. I remember another relative with a ubm trying to make the XMas tree fall over when the spouse wasn't looking. I have more examples but I'll stop.

    More examples of JW inability to observe normal social etiquette/politeness. There is no point to my thread other than me venting. Thanks. :)

  • ozziepost

    G'day rebel,

    While we don't all have your mother to cope with, this did 'ring a bell' for me:

    JW inability to observe normal social etiquette/politeness
    Very well put! I'm coming to the conclusion that for anyone around the dubs, they are stood over, whether it's by the shunning to the family affairs you speak of. Just a couple of days ago i started a thread on my musings on the stupidity of public shunning. i guess shunning too is an example of their lack of social etiquette and politeness.
  • blondie

    rebel8, your mother sounds like a very controlling person. The WTS gives her a convenient platform to do that. Just have the party and those who come will be all the more precious; and if some let your mother control them, not much you can do. If your mother wants to set conditions and she is not the host, just be firm and say this is what is going to happen. If you can't come....that's your decision.

    Love, Blondie

  • Legolas


    Hang in there, I would would make my house Explode with xmas stuff if I was you!

    Get one of these, it is a 5' talking santa that movies!

  • rebel8

    Good idea Legolas but talking things spook me! For real, I get a little freaked when I see them in the store, each time I walk by them even though I tell myself, "talking Santa ahead, take a deep breath". I am a dork. Maybe I will get out my nativity scene from storage though, LOL.

    We have had the "I am the hostess not you" discussion in the past and she remembers it well. This time she is actually being less obnoxious because of that discussion, if you can imagine that.

    I had to hang up on her yesterday after telling her to stop calling and repeating the same nags 50x. I have now reached the point where I am not going to have any contact with her except when she tags along with my dad. No direct contact with her. It is so not worth it. My husband agrees.

    Yes shunning is rude. In my experience, most people who enjoy shunning do so because it gives them a sense of moral superiority. What deep void they must have inside themselves to be driven to rudeness just to feel comfortable in their own skin.

  • nicholeb

    I have to tell you, I have given up on my mother!!! We DO NOT talk anymore. And mostly because of her "holier than thou" attitude, and pretty much all the same problems you have with your mom. I don't have time in my life for that. I had to make a decission that my sanity was worth more to me than the company of my mother. I hear any news via my sister or maybe my daughter.

    So I know where you are coming from.

    Good luck!!!

  • Annointed2

    You and I must be in the same boat. I've come to the same conclusion!

  • Gretchen956

    I think they do this so that other people can feel as unhappy as they do. Its like someone on a diet bitching that all her friends get to eat french fries to the point that no one ever wants to have lunch with her. Witnoids do this stuff all the time, they feel superior and flaunt it, without regard to social skills or etiquite, really I think its masking this deep depression especially this time of the year. You know that they feel left out too. They don't get to do anything fun! Imagine living forever like that!



  • MidwichCuckoo

    Haven't you learned yet? Only Dubs have valid feelings and Consciences which must not be offended.

    .....and WELCOME Annointed2 (are you REALLY??) and nicholeb

  • Mysterious

    I know some that are respectful of other's family time, but most seem to think that since the customs with christian are pagan it is almost their duty to interfere. Despite their protestations to the contrary that they allow everyone freedom of choice.

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