Welcome to all the "newbies"!!
You guys are all right. Toxic relationships are not worth the effort.
Is your mom a JW? If so, then why would she be coming to your Christmas dinners (or any other "wordly" holiday get together).
She will show up for any other holiday dinners on the holidays, ie Easter, Thanksgiving--these do not bother her. XMas--she will show up for a holiday dinner near XMas but not on the 24th or 25th, and then only if she extracts a promise there will be no gift exchange. The fact that there are XMas decorations, XMas cookies, and XMas music doesn't bother her.
Here is my weak pathetic explanation. I am all for removing toxic relationships from my life and have done that with several people. I do want to keep my dad in my life though, and he is a non-JW. Unfortunately, he feels worse when he attends holiday stuff and my mom doesn't come. It just reminds him of all the holidays he has spent alone and bored. I want to include him and just say to my mom she is welcome but we are celebrating as normal--no modifications for her. However, my dad will not do it.
I have to admit, I feel bad around the holidays. My husband's divorced parents clamor for his attention around the holidays. They want us to spend every minute with them, and we are in the position of having to choose one side or the other. Btwn XMas Eve and New Yr's, we are lucky if we get enough sleep. This just reminds me of my situation and makes me sad.
Last yr I mended some fences by visiting my dad on XMas and delivering his gift, and also my previously estranged grandmother. They both appreciated it greatly. I thought this yr I would have them all over for dinner sometime in December. That is where my mother comes in because of my dad's desire to include her.
Anyway, it was all cancelled because they had to attend a funeral. Whatevaaaah. I am not rescheduling. Invited just my dad over for XMas Eve dinner. We'll see if he shows.
