Nowhere else to go

by joelbear 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • joelbear

    there is really nowhere else for me to post about what goes on inside me.

    i know that my problems aren't all because i was a witness.

    the agony in my mind has led me to a psychiatrist.

    he has diagnosed me with cyclothymic mood disorder, a milder form

    of bipolar disorder.

    started lithium last night. if this doesn't work i really don't think i can

    go on.

    i am bringing a lot of things in my life to closure, completing some things

    that I wanted to do. I still have things on my list and that does keep me

    going to some extent, hoping the pain will subside from time to time.

    it is cathartic for me to write it down and sometimes relieves the pressure

    for a bit.

    i have been psychically punched so much that i really don't think the wound

    will heal.

  • Gozz

    Touching. It is at times like this when words fail one; just pour it out... I can't imagine what you're going through... you're keeping busy still. 'll be hoping lithium works good for you...


  • AuldSoul


    You have a PM.


  • cruzanheart

    Hang in there, joelbear! This world would be a sadder place if you weren't in it. I hope your treatment works.



  • serendipity

    (((Joelbear))). Please give your medication some time and if it doesn't work so well, please keep working with your doctor to find something that can work. I know you'll find something that works with your chemistry.

    It's a good thing that you're making a list of things to accomplish. Please update that list periodically and focus on all that you CAN do. Please try not to think so much about how you can't go on. Thoughts are very powerful. And if you're a believer, prayer may help. Please take it easy and take good care of yourself.

  • acsot


    You are one of the posters I look for on this board; I'm so sorry to hear of the pain you're going through. If the lithium doesn't help, there may be other meds out there for you. Please don't give up on finding a way through the pain.

    We're always here if you need to talk things out.

  • freedomlover

    joelbear - I don't think I've ever posted on your thread before but I wanted to say to you:

    nothing lasts forever. this is a moment and it will pass. until then, post all you want. get it out of you. it helps me to get it out.

    I also think your pro-active search in finding yourself help is a huge sign of your desire to get better and enjoy life. Be patient with yourself my friend.....

    there is help out there and your on your way to finding it. keep us up to date on your progress....

  • Carmel

    Joel, I worked in Alaska for years with someone who was severly bipolar. Lithium not only stabilized his mood swings, it laid the foundation for him to work on physical and mental issues. You would never guess that he is the same person now. Although he lost his wife, (prior to the diagnosis and treatment) he has become an amazing writer, craftsman and humanitarian.

    I bet from what I've seen from your posts, you could surpass him with your capacity.

    I wish you well!


  • GetBusyLiving

    (((joelbear))) If you ever want to chat please send me a message. Also my personal email address is [email protected] .


  • myself


    I hope the lithium works. If not we will just have to add on to your list.

    Winter months can make these feelings seem worse. Hang in there.

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