To Rebel or not to Rebel? that is the question!

by freedomlover 45 Replies latest jw experiences

  • freedomlover

    -----------------great thoughts thus far ---------------

    I'm sitting here reading them and letting them percolate down......

    - namaste -

  • tetrapod.sapien

    first of all, ha, i have to say something about a couple of thoughts first...


    maybe you need an afternoon out with the girls (hopefully non jw). Have a few laughs, get silly.

    ha ha, you know, i think she needs more than an "afternoon" out with the girls. LOL, sorry, it's just that seemed like a funny thing to say... if anything, i would feel worse after that... heh heh... but it's cool, i am all for getting silly.... really freaky and silly.... ;)


    you know, that it's a vice versa paradox, this thing you speak of? ...

    I chose not to because I'll be damned if I will let them create so much pressure inside me that I become a defense for their lies against "apostates."

    because, if they stop you from doing whatever the hell you want after you are out, then they are still controling your life. i mean, who gives a flying f*ck if you "prove to them their lies" of what apostates are? go ahead! get wild! let them laugh at you. prove to them what it is to be an apostate.

    i get the other argument, the one you give. but where are your priorities young man? ah ha ha! are you concerned about what they think of you? or what you think of you? i know you're a smart guy, so it's not like i think this is news to you. just rambling, you know...


    "to dance beneath the diamond sky, with one hand waiving free..."

    hey, Dionysos here... he he...


    If you did, what did you do to cleanse yourself of this and yet not destroy your life for the future? I've seen some people leave and they just go all out and then literally contract a VD or become a total drug addict or destoy their marriage.

    i don't advocate the destruction of anyone elses things apart from my own. so, what you say is good and right an true. the problem is that i guess some people are natural born killers. shedding everything is impossible, but we try anyways and it also involves shedding what you think about goodness, and right-ness and truth. if you're a natural born killer, as i like to say, then watch out, there are bumpy roads ahead. sorry. if you're not, (and that's cool you know?), then i wish you the best, and only remind you to laugh lots and try to do things that keep your edge. it would be a beautiful life, and i am sure you want it, and so does itis, and there's no shame in it. it just is, hey? :)

    in a way, sometimes personal pain and destruction sort of turn me on. the things that aren't good and right and true. that's why i am not afraid of them. or more acurately, the fear is exciting.... but that's just me, you know? like forsharry said, you have to go and find yourself. you're well on your way imo, and you will probably end up at some beautiful place that i will never come to, or at least pass through one...

    i say start small, like you already have, keep thinking your thoughts, don't suppress anything. smoke some dope. you can juggle it all. lots of people do. it'll be an adventure. you'll love it, because it's about finding yourself. you may be super mom, but your also a human, and when the time comes to find yourself, there ain't no stopping it (now i sound like the some swamp oracle... insert banjo and frogs in the back ground)... he he...

    most of all, be ready to just laugh at yourself.... oh, and don't forget to laugh at others too.... and if you contradict yourself, don't worry about it... don't worry about being right.... just be. jamesthomas taught me that... :)


  • Golf

    I've been a rebel since my teens.


  • Aude_Sapere
    "I'm not sure if that helps you any...but maybe just let your hair down a bit. It doesn't mean go out and get a tattoo or piercings ..."

    Or maybe it does.

    I've been tossing the idea around for a while now. Something small and hidden but only YOU know it's there. If that is still a little too daring, maybe a henna tattoo - it will fade away after a few weeks so no permanent markings...

    Or a navel piercing?

    I think it might be a safer rebellion than some others.


  • serendipity

    Hi Freedomlover,

    I agree with some of the other thoughts. I do think it's important to figure out what being a rebel will get you or what it represents. Once you can identify that, maybe you can find the appropriate activities that will scratch that itch. There is one other thing that popped into my mind about your situation:

    Do you think that maybe you're tired of the responsibility of your roles? Many responsible people give and give, and do very little for themselves. Givers have to recharge their batteries on a regular basis. Is there anyway you can get away weekly to do some things you enjoy? Is there any way you can stop taking on new responsibilites - say no? Do you have the "need to please" disease?

    I was near the point of burnout a few years back, and I had to take a few hours away from my daughter twice a week to regain my equilibrium. That was all I could spare, but it did a world of good after several months. I'm also the responsible type, and my act of rebellion was to stop going to meetings during the week. That helped tremendously as well. I also delegated housework and let other things slide. I stopped taking responsibility for many things at work, because hey, we're supposed to be a team. It took two years to undo 11 years of personal neglect, but it's been worth it.

    If these suggestions aren't on target, then go for the henna tatoo or wild hair or black leather.

  • freedomlover

    AUDE -

    "I'm not sure if that helps you any...but maybe just let your hair down a bit. It doesn't mean go out and get a tattoo or piercings ..."

    Or maybe it does.

    YES GOD DAMN!! I'm not talking about a night out with the girls, or a break from motherhood. NO offense to those suggestions......I'm a little beyond that though...

    I do get breaks. I am not the mother that ONLY lives for her children. I work and have many interests that don't involve my kids.

    A tattoo and piercing are first on my list of things to do to rebel and probably some weed shortly following that. I just don't know if that will scratch the itch enough....

  • AuldSoul


    I should have specified, I was talking about doing things JUST BECAUSE I couldn't as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. That seems to be what freedomlover is voicing and it is what I felt, too. My point is, I decided to give myself time to get used to the idea of deciding for myself before deciding which things I wanted to do.


    P.S. Tattoo and piercings (more than one...) are on my lists of things to do, but only because I decided I wanted to. I didn't want those type things to be a reaction to freedom, just a benefit of free choice.

  • ithinkisee

    Hmmmmm .... I strongly suggest starting here:


  • freedomlover

    ITIS - LOL!!

    sorry ya all - my hubby has a new idea for some rebellion so I gotta go.....

  • Aude_Sapere

    A tattoo and piercing are first on my list of things to do to rebel and probably some ;weed ;shortly following that. ;I just don't know if that will scratch the itch enough....

    If you are that ready, I'd go for the permanent tatt and maybe put it somewhere that is conspicuously exposed but can readily be covered incase you find yourself in a situation where you don't want to flaunt your rebellion. Upper arm or back of shoulder??

    And the navel piercing.

    Open a christmas savings account for 2006??

    Burn the books. (Tear up a few first.)

    Contact Silent Lambs. Let them know you can be a 'safe house' (probably need family consensus on this one since it's their home too).

    I sky-dived. But I don't think I'd have done it with young children. And it's pretty expensive for a newbie.

    Couple months ago I bought a used motorcycle. First I took the Rider's safety class. That in itself was fun and felt a little like rebellion. My JW family just rolled their eyes at me.

    I really think this is UNhealthy, but rather than buy a whole pack of cigarettes, maybe just bum one off a friend - or even more daring, a STRANGER! Just smoke and chat with them for a few minutes then be off and about your normal, decent life. A simple 'thanks' to your smoking partner and you are gone.

    Take a philosophy class at the local community college. (or a religion class.)

    I think you can find ways to 'rebel' - or just testdrive your freedom - in short, easy to complete, inexpensive, uncomplicated, innocous ways. All without really missing a beat in your other roles and responsibilites.



    PS: I hope you will share your 'rebellious' activities with us so some can life vicariously and other can get the nerve!

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