I don't know if this is the right place for but please someone help me out.

by rohrix 62 Replies latest jw experiences

  • RichieRich

    As someone your age, who knows exactly what you're looking at, let me say this.

    Is she as interested in you, as you are in her?

    Is it worth severing ties with your family and friends for her?

    Answer those questions honestly, and you'll know what to do.

  • AlmostAtheist
    Glad I can count on some people, even if you are all crazy.

    Oh yeah, you can always count on that! :-)


  • DevonMcBride

    Become a Jehovah's Witness and you can't...

    Celebrate Mother's Day
    Celebrate Father's Day
    Celebrate Grandparent's Day
    Celebrate Birthdays
    Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Celebrate New Year's Eve or Day
    Celebrate Christmas
    Celebrate Halloween
    Celebrate Easter
    Celebrate Flag Day
    Celebrate Independence Day (Fourth of July)
    Celebrate Hanukkah
    Celebrate St. Patrick's Day
    Celebrate Valentine's Day
    Celebrate "Any" Holiday
    Sing any Holiday Songs
    Eat Turkey on Thanksgiving
    Create Holiday artwork in school
    Join the Boy Scouts
    Join the Girl Scouts
    Buy Girl Scout Cookies
    Become a Cheerleader
    Attend class reunions (No "Worldly" association)
    Go to the school prom
    Play School Sports (No competition allowed)
    Play Professional Sports
    Join any organization that has ties to Christianity
    Shop at the Salvation Army
    Volunteer for the Salvation Army
    Donate to Relief Organizations like the Red Cross, Salvation Army, Charities and more
    Shop at Church run thrift stores
    Shop at Church Garage Sales
    Shop at any Store that has Christian ties
    Contribute to the Red Cross
    Attend a Church School
    Join the YMCA
    Join the Military
    Become a Police Officer
    Attend Alcoholics Anonymous
    Have any job with a gun
    Strike against a Company
    Salute the Flag
    Can't Stand at Public Events while others are Standing to salute the Flag
    Sing the National Anthem
    Go to War
    Wear Clothing Associated with War; e.g. Combats or Army Tops
    Learn karate
    Vote (Conscience matter now to please Governments, you will be ostracized if you do)
    Run for any Public Office
    Campaign for a Candidate
    Contribute to the Presidential Campaign Fund on your tax return
    Can join union, but not participate in its affairs
    Run for class president
    Join Sororities or Fraternities
    Participate in holiday parties at school
    Buy lottery tickets
    Play Bingo
    Can't buy a raffle ticket
    Date without supervision - young or old
    Watch R rated movies
    Cannot work on another Church if it's a regular customer
    Own a religious picture or statue
    Smoke cigarettes, pipes or a cigars
    Sell cigarettes, pipes or a cigars
    Accept Blood
    Donate Blood
    Store your own blood before an operation
    Wear blue jeans or casual clothes to the Kingdom Hall
    Wear pants to the Kingdom Hall if you are a female
    Wear skirts or dresses that are above the knee at any time
    Wear any type of long hair if you are a man
    Wear a beard in some Kingdom Halls and areas (judged hard)
    Pierce ears if male, other body parts if female
    Have any tattoos
    Say curse words
    Can't be hypnotized
    Get divorced unless scriptural (adultery or fornication is committed by one partner) if you do divorce cannot remarry unless ex fornicates first
    Toast drinks (pagan origin)
    Throw rice at a wedding (pagan origin)
    Say "Bless You" when someone sneezes
    Say "Good Luck!", "Wish me Luck", "I was Lucky" or "You were Lucky"
    Tell ghost stories
    Practice Yoga
    Own a Smurf
    Eat Lucky Charms Cereal (References to Magical)
    Throw a penny into a wishing well
    Read Horoscopes
    Promote anything Superstitious
    Have wind charms because they represent a pagan symbol for scaring away demons
    Watch TV shows, "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch", "Touched by an Angel", or "Bewitched"
    Say "It was fate" or mention anything to do with "fate"
    Engage in any risky acts such as: Sky Diving, Bungie Jumping & Hang Gliding
    Have Jesus as your Mediator and Savior
    Can't partake in the Memorial of Jesus' death, by eating the unleavened bread or drinking the wine; only allowed if you are from the elite group of the 144,000
    A woman can't hold a position of responsibility in the congregation
    Wear or own a Cross
    Attend another Church (Spiritual Fornication)
    Associate on a regular basis with nonbelievers
    Associate with ex-members
    Associate with disfellowshipped ones
    Talk with disfellowshipped ones
    Sue another Jehovah's Witness
    Marry a nonbeliever (If you do, you are judged hard by the congregation)
    Marry in another Church or attend a wedding in another Church
    Have a funeral in another Church or attend a funeral in another Church
    Pray, including holding your head down, when a nonbeliever prays
    Study other religious articles not from the Society
    Read negative information about the Society
    Question the Watchtower Society on anything
    Exercise your on conscience if it goes against the religion
    Question the Society or the Organization
    Have Christian freedom
    If you are a woman you can't pray aloud in the presence of men, without a covering on your head
    If you are sick and need alternative medical help you can't get illegal medicines from another country

    Become a Jehovah's Witness and you shouldn't....
    .... if you do you will be looked down upon

    Discuss politics
    Surf too much on the Internet
    Attend social functions organized by your place of work
    Associate with worldly neighbors
    Attend College (The Society has lightened up on this somewhat, but if you attend you are not putting Kingdom interests first, and will be judged.)
    Play Chess
    Go to Nightclubs
    Own a Gun
    Read philosophy, sociology, psychology; these are discouraged as non spiritual food
    JWs are discouraged from seeking psychological help from psychiatrists, psycho-therapists, and psychologists because they give "worldly" advice according to the WTBTS.

    Become a Jehovah's Witness and you have to....

    Must be baptized into the organization
    Attend several regular meetings each week
    Go out in field service regularly to recruit new members
    Report your field service activity to the congregation each month
    Attend regular scheduled conventions
    Give talks at the congregation (whether young or old, male or female)
    Read and fully understand their teachings
    Prepare for each meeting
    Participate in the meetings
    Study with family
    Use Theocratic Warfare (War Strategy) - To lie or to hide the truth to a non-JW for protection of the Organization
    Fully accept the Watchtower's authority and rules (no exceptions)

    Dress according to their rules at the Kingdom Halls, Service and conventions (no exceptions)
    • Women and small girls must wear dresses
    • Men must wear dress pants with dress shirts and ties
    Associate only with fellow members
    Report on fellow members including your family, if they are caught doing something against Society's rules
    You have to sing at the meetings (even if you have a bad voice) - or you are looked down upon
    Women must be in full submission to their husbands
  • stillconcerned


    This is called MISSIONARY DATING...

    RUN from the ROOM!!!

  • AuldSoul
    They are very good at "hop scotching" through the bible to prove points when in fact they are twisting it to say what they want it to.
    Give an example.


    (1) The teaching on Paradise, a foundational teaching of the organization as it constitutes the hope of the vast majority of Witnesses who do not have Jesus as their mediator.

    Three Scriptures in the NT refer to "Paradise," two of them do so specifically in reference to heaven. Instead of allowing the two instances to inform the understanding of the third—which does not specify whether heaven or earth is being referred to—the unfounded assumption is made that the third is referring to earth and that the other two must be symbolic since the third is talking about the earth.

    Would you like more? I believe I can come up with at least 10.

    (2) That an organization would be necessary to fulfill prophecy, thus shortening the hand of God and claiming that Holy Spirit is of limited effect. They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    (3) That the "little flock" is a separate and distinct group from the "other sheep," thus creating two classes of Christians that the Bible never suggests. They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    (4) That Daniel 4 has a second fulfillment, thus inventing a false need for chronological examination of the Bible. They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    (5) That 607 was the date for the distruction of Jerusalem, thus inventing a starting point for invented Bible chronology to work from. They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    (6) That a Governing Body is necessary for feeding the anointed and the other sheep (see example 3), thus directly contradicting the plain words of the Bible. (1 John 2:26-29) They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    (7) That the mediatorship does not apply to everyone (see example 3) who wants to avail themselves of it, thus making Jesus, Paul, and others out to be liars. They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    (8) That elders have authority to form 3 person committees to judge individuals in the congregation. ? they don't even attempt to establish this authority.

    (8) That a male unbelieving mate is no longer the spiritual head of his household, thus stripping the ability of the husband to guide his family in spiritual matters. They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    (9) That Jesus examined all religions in 1919 and picked the Bible Students, thus holding themselves above all other religions. They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    (10) That only a few people (see example 2) recognized Jesus' presence (gr. parousia) in 1914, thus making Jesus a liar. (Matthew 24:27,28; Luke 17:22-24) They hopscotch to "prove" this.

    I hope this helps. I bet I could come up with 10 more, but these should get you started. Let me know if you need more.


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Oh boy! Let's go through a few things

    If you decide to "join" her religion there are many things to think about.

    People don't just "join" the JWs. You don't just start going to their meetings and you're in. You have to have a bible study first (well, it's not really a Bible study. It's more a study of their beliefs. This can take months. And you won't be allowed to date during this time.

    After the studying for months you are required to be baptized. Getting baptized means taking an oath that you will obey the Watchtower Society (WTS) above every other rule (even legal rulings) above everything else including the girl you like.

    Once you are baptized life changes. The WTS has control of your life.

    There will be many things you will have to give up.

    • ALL holidays - no Xmas, birthdays, no Easter, or Halloween or Thanksgiving day - nothing
    • Is your hair long? You will have to have it cut in a pre-70's hairstyle and no beards.
    • Like the way you look? Your clothes will need changing (unless you look like you came out of the 60's (suit and ties)
    • Love your music and videos. That will have to change too. Nothing with sexual overtones or violence.
    • Want to go to college. Well some JWs do go but they are looked down on regardless of what they tell you. You are expected to put the WTS ahead of your education
    • love to sleep in on Saturday mornings. Forget that one too. You will be required to get up early and put on your suit and go knocking on doors peddling WTS litterature.
    • sports? say good-bye to most of that too. Especially you will have to give up participating in them. Meetings and door-to-door preaching will take it's place.
    • ahhh your family. You will be expected to preach to them and get them to join the JWs also. And if they refuse or give you a hard time about joining then you are expected to give them up.
    • friends? you like the ones you have? well say good bye to them too if you can't get them to join
    • no smoking, no drugs, limited alcohol (not getting drunk)
    • no gambling
    • you will be required to attend ALL the meetings ALL the time (that's 1 two-hour meeting on Sunday, another two hour meeting during the week and a 3rd 1-hr meeting on another day during the week.)
    • and you need to study to prepare for all those meetings
    • You won't be able to attend a family wedding, christening or funeral if they occur in a church although some people do if they agree to sit in the back and not participate
    • some forms of employment are forbidden - working of a charity, church, selling tobacco, military or police - this too is a long list
    • work just enough to support yourself and spend the rest of your time knocking on doors
    • no voting or anything patriotic or political
    • and forget hobbies - after you finish all that studying there won't be any time

    OK Now the really big stuff

    Let's say you get through all the above, actually get baptized (you need to answer a test before they let you get baptized) and you can now "date" this girl, then here is a list of the other requirements

    • dating in the JWs is not like dating anyone else. Dating is only for the purpose of marriage. Well you say you want to spend the rest of your life with her. So that part would be easy.
    • You absolutely need her parents permission just to date her.in many places you can only date if you have a chaperone or in groups
    • no sex before marriage, no heavy petting
    • oh no masturbation - ever

    Now if you get all that and actually get to marry the girl in 3 - 4 years from now we have a new set of rules to add to the ones above

    • sex - many kinds of sexual activity are forbidden. About the only one really allowed is the old fashioned missionary position although for variety you might roll over. No oral sex.
    • if you ask for oral sex she will be required to report you to the elders and they will have a "talk" with you about what is allowed and what isn't.
    • on top of all the studying and meetings above you will be required to have a family study with your wife and with your children if you have any
    • if your wife has an accident and needs blood you will be forced/coerced to refuse blood and possibly watch her die - same for any children you might have

    I really could go on and on. The list of restrictions is very very very long. Basically your life will no longer be your own.

    I'm not even going to start on the things they do to you if they throw you out. Ther eis no such things as just walking away form the JWs. They make you pay emotionally big time

  • Legolas

    Welcome to the board!

    Stick around...you will learn some things that will save much pain in your life!

  • Bryan

    If you mary her and have children, and your child in injured, are you ready to stand by and watch your child die instead of recieving life saving blood?

    As a Witness, this is what you'll have to do.


    Have You Seen My Mother

  • xjwms

    Hello and welcome

    Can you see how many here are trying to help you?

    So far everyone is wanting you to THINK FOR YOURSELF.

    Most who are here...have decided to free themselves from a cult.

    Compare for yourself ... If it looks like a.......if it controls people like a......if it teaches like a....

    if it controls you association like a ......

    I hope you get the point.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    First - Welcome to the forum.

    Second - How could joining any religion be a good idea just to 'get the girl'? If u elect to 'study' with JW's consult this board or other sources to understand what a committment to that religion means.

    Trust me - you will live to regret it if you choose to follow the course you are thinking of following. Your heart and your life are young. Think long and hard, with your head not your heart before you go any further. Please!

    I know of where I speak - the first 48 years of my life were lost to that religion. Think. We can help.


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