Hello everyone. First and foremost let me describe my situation. I am a senior in high school. I've had a very rough past and alot of people have wronged me in many ways. As a result I've never been very religious. I've done some nasty things in my life and I want something, but Im not sure what yet Just recently, i've found that this girl I like is a Jehovah's Witness, and she told me that she would only date within her faith. I really want to date her. This made me consider finding religion. I know that becoming a Witness for this reason is completly wrong and would probably be a bad idea. This is probably the main reason I want to become a Witness. I know that you will probably try and convince me that what I am doing is wrong. I want to be with her, and I do anything to spend my life with her. So please, will someone help me. I've been tryingto find somthing to put my Faith into. Please help. I'll anwser any questions. Thanks.
I don't know if this is the right place for but please someone help me out.
by rohrix 62 Replies latest jw experiences
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jeanniebeanz
Slow down and think about this for a while. Read some of the posts/threads.
And, welcome.
J
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CountryGuy
Rohrix,
Welcome to the board. At least you are doing a bit of research before you jump into a huge (HUGE) commitment. As you go through this process, let me give you two pieces of information:
1. Everyday, in your neighborhood, JWs are usually very nice, polite people. They will become even nicer once the find out you want to become a JW. In fact, many have called it being 'love bombed.' However, if you decide that you ever want to leave the religion, you will get the complete opposite. JWs shun those that leave their organization. It does not matter if it is your parent or child, your brother or sister, cousin or best-friend for thirty years; if you leave the JWs you will lose any 'friends' you have on the inside.
2. Having grown up a JW, I've seen other guys in your situation. A cute young JW girl flirts with a guy at school or at work. He decides that he wants to date her. She tells him that she can only date other JWs. He starts studying with the JWs to get closer to her. Right after he's in too deep to turn around, she decides that it's best if they just stay friends. I know that there are some JW couples that are still together because the husband came into the JWs just for the wife, but I have seen them 'dumped' more often than not.
Over all, just know what you're getting yourself into... Best of luck and Happy Holidays. (By the way, those are two things you can't say if you're a JW.)
CountryGuy
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oldflame
Feed the dogs to the beast there are plenty of fish in the sea. Your young and whatever you do, if you can protect yourself now it will save you a lot of pain later. Listen to what these posters say, and be smart rather than be foolish. Good Luck !
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SWALKER
Getting into a religion in order to date someone is a poor reason at best. Becoming a JW to date someone is insanity. You should do a lot of reading on this board as there are many posts regarding the difficulty of being married to a JW. If you decide to study their beliefs and you think that it is what you want in your life, then that is up to you. Just remember that what you are taught before you get baptized is different once you are on the inside. You are very limited in what you can do as a person. It is a mind control cult and they will be involved in most of your business for the rest of your life. They even dictate what a husband and wife can do in the bedroom. Down the road, if you decide that you can't take it anymore, you will be disfellowshipped and your life will be stripped from you. Many find it hard to make friends and it takes time and effort to build a completely new life. You can never do enough for the organization and are constantly critisized and made to feel less than adequate...I would encourage you to look at other religions if you are so inclined to do so. If you really want help in finding yourself, I'd suggest going to a good therapist. They, at least, are trying to help you, whereas the WTS is looking out for IT'S OWN INTERESTS.
Hope you find your way,
Swalker
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theinfamousone
geezus.... UR A SENIOR??? and u still want to join a religion for a girl?????? FUCKIN RETARDED MAN!!! think about it.... first off, shes trying to change you right off the bat, whats next, your hairstyle, your personality etc etc.... this is not a good idea man... oh and especially not into a moronic cult like the jehovahs witnesses.. trust me, EVERY SINGLE JEHOVAHS WITNESS GIRL IS FUCKED UP!!! man, seriously think this one through.... GOD I WOULD HATE TO SEE YOU THERE JUST BECAUSE OF SOME GIRL... there are many more, go to university, ull meet plenty of great cool, not jw girls...
the infamous one
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Ms. Whip
first off, shes trying to change you right off the bat, whats next, your hairstyle, your personality etc etc.... this is not a good idea man... oh and especially not into a moronic cult like the jehovahs witnesses.. trust me, EVERY SINGLE JEHOVAHS WITNESS GIRL IS FUCKED UP!!! man, seriously think this one through.... -the infamous one
Hi rohrix ,
Nice to meet you. You have a serious situation there....and although I wouldn't have put it as eloquently as infamous did...I have to agree he is right. I couldn't have said it better.
(even though it means I was and am f*cked up too)
You said "I've had a very rough past and alot of people have wronged me in many ways." This probably means that few people have been kind to you and even fewer have shown you that they can be trusted. Here's where this girl comes in. She probably is a nice girl and has shown you kindness...and maybe you feel you can trust her. Those are very strong attributes. If you top that with a sexual attraction...boom you got love.
But, please take some advise from the hundreds, no thousands of people on this board who have been there. We know what it is like to fall in love, we know what it is like to be a Jehovah's Witness, we know.
No matter how strong the attraction is. Stop. Take out all the emotions...the hurt of your past and the attraction of the present. and Think.
It is the nature of man to want what he can't have. Why is it that you want her when there are a million other girls in the world? Because right now you can't have her.
She has told you that "she would only date within her faith." This could also be her way of turning you down nicely. If she really wanted to date you she would. Lots of witnesses have done that.
But, let's say you decide to "try her religion" so you can date her. First of all, you can't just "try out being a Jehovah's Witness" it doesn't work like that. You either are one or aren't. You learn that quickly. Second, it's more than just going to church...it's changing your entire life to live by someone else's rules. It will happen gradually, but eventually everything about yourself will be changed.
Let me just say that this girl will never be satisfied.
You will never be good enough, or do enough or change enough to please her. This is not her fault, it is her religion's fault. She is programmed that way. You will have to study the entire bible, their books and learn everything. You will have to give up your family, your friends, your way of life. Once you start studying she will tell you that she can't date you unless you are engaged to be married. And she can't marry you unless you are baptized. Then she will want you to go to church 3 times a week and go out preaching and studying with other people. You will have to give talks in front of the congregation at her church. You can't drink, you can't smoke, you can't celebrate your birthday. You can't even buy your mom a present for Christmas.
...all I am saying is. Stop. Think.
Thousands of people are on this discussion board because we have found out that this religion used us and abused us. We either fell in love with someone and followed them into the religion or we were born into it. This religion has stolen so many things from us...our life, our youth, our identity and people we love.
Find a girl who will love you completely for who you are now, not who you could be if you changed everything.
I know you need love, kindness, someone you can trust. Let your guard down and you will find them. Just don't give up who you are for any one.
Don't choose your religion based on emotion...and for sure...don't follow your dick into church.
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greendawn
I also agree that you are better off keeping your distance from that girl because the JWs despite their sheepish appearence are a dangerous and exploitative cult that have ruined many lives and families with their aggressive behaviour. There is a lot of info about them on the net.
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Effervescent
Everyone so far seemed to echo my sentiment pretty well in their own ways.
I just wanted to add this:
You may feel like you "Love" her, or think that she is worthy of persuing a relationship, and, not knowing anything about her, these things may be true. What you don't know though, is all of the things you will have to give up to have a serious relationship with her. These are the things you will HAVE to give up, no questions asked, to be worthy of her and the Organization she lives her life according to. Any below G-rated tv, internet, holidays, birthdays, friends who are non-jw, relatives who are non-jw, parties, smoking (if you do), wishing someone good luck, toasting to someones health, club or social group membership, college, a job that requires any overtime, Tuesday nights, Thursday nights, Saturday mornings, Sunday mornings/afternoons, Life saving blood transfusions or treatment that involves blood components, the safety of any children you may have from hidden pedophiles in the congregation, retirement funds, freedom to choose what you wear, independent thought, oral sex, saluting the flag, being patriotic, withholding physical (corporal) punishment from your children, gambling, entering another church, giving to charities, and heaven forbid someone you love should leave the religion because then you will be forced to treat them as if they were dead.
These are serious things to think about. I don't know if I would consider giving up my consience and free will to anyone... for anyone.
I'm sorry you're having to go through such a bad time, I wish you the best no matter what decision you make!
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defd
The heart......................It is a tricky thing sometimes. I dont agree with you when you said that you would serve Jehovah just so you can be with her. It is not a good Idea. Jehovah would like for you to benefit from his loving kindness willingly and out of love for Him. The bible says Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. With Jehovah as a friend no matter what life may bring, He will ALWAYS be there for you and offer relief and comfort.D.