guys i really need your help

by Cordelia 99 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cordelia
    Cordelia

    ive already showed him that, he said the witnesses are a non govermental orginazation so the un have added them and the witnesses were ok coz it could further their worship.

    i brought that up again tonight coz i said that being an ngo they had to sign a paper each year saying thay supported the charter of the un, he said no that cant be true,

    so do you know where theres any proof that they actually did that?

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    Cordelia, it seems like for proof he will accept you will need write the Branch. The only way he will believe you is if you show him their reply on their letterhead. You will get the same meatheaded and outrageous reply I got, or a close approximation.

    Make him focus on how they try to use "Associate" and register/registration interchangably. An Associate is a member. A subordinate member. They filed an application to Associate. A "registrant" just signs up for something and is not formally attached to the organization in any way.

    This NGOs and the United Nations Department of Public Information Brochure on the UN Web site lays out the requirements for being considered as a candidate for Association, the obligations of an Associate (including upholding the Criteria for Association), and the entire involved application and approval process (which takes three to six months).

    Here is the first of the Criteria for Association: The NGO must support and respect the principles of the Charter of the UN and have a clear mission statement that is consistent with those principles.

    Can a Christian do that and remain neutral? No way.

    AuldSoul

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    I get the feeling that every time you talk to your Dad he will ignore what you're saying and give you another week to think about the marvellous proof he's provided for you.

  • Cordelia
    Cordelia

    thanks everyone but it doesnt matter anymore, thye have won i am so unhappy without my dad and the bf has not been nice at all this weekend in fact hes hurt me every single day coz he seems just not to care at all when i needed him the most.

    ive told my dad i am putting the bf before him and seeing how it works out, my dad said he doesnt want to know coz it will hurt him so much and he has kept his word and not contacted me,

    but my ex was bringing my daughter home and i told my bf to go to the pub for 5 mins so that my ex didnt see him (coz he would tell my dad) and he went mad and we have finished now, i understand my bf position he wants my ex to know he is still seeing me, but things have been that bad between us that once they actually know i have gone ahead and had him at my house etc that will be completely it my 8 months of trying to get reinstated will be gone and everything! and things have been so bad ive felt really uncared for and unloved by my bf the one who i am losing my entire family for that i am not willing to do it just yet and think if he loved me he would see how much i have already done for him and just give me a couple of weeks to see if we can not argue and that i could be sure i was doing the right thing in losing everyone,

    why can he not just be there for me instead of always wanting more? or why cant he just show me we can actually have a day without being upset so that i can lose everyone completely and feel thats hes worth doing it for?

    dont know why im writing all this personal stuff i just feel so depressed at the mo!

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    (((Cordelia))), if it isn't representative of YOU as a person, then it isn't integrity. Integrity is unaffected by the outside world, if you aren't true to yourself eventually you will be someone you don't like at all.

    I only have a question. It isn't a recommendation, just a question: Do you love your bf?

    Here's another: Does he know?

    Your dad knows you love him, he also knows you don't love the organization. He isn't confused about your loyalties, he is trying to change your loyalties to loyalties he likes better. From what you have written, you bf is inccredibly confused about your loyalties. That would be hard on any man.

    For what it's worth, my thoughts are often with you.

    AuldSoul

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Are you really doing it all for your b/f?

    I really feel for your b/f. He's in a situation that is difficult for an outsider to understand. It's kinda unfair to put all the responsibility on his shoulders. What happened to that list of Pro's and Con's? Amongst many other factors should probably be the following two:

    • Either you want to be a JW and gain the added value of the conditional love of your parents, but give up your b/f; or
    • You give up the JWs and possible gain the added value of retaining your b/f but potentially lose your family.

    When my sister finally got reinstated she had a b/f who found it hard to understand, and ultimately it didn't work out anyway. She later met another lad and married him.

    Nothing in life is certain, especially in relationships. You aren't guaranteed to lose your family just because you stay away. You tried hard for eight months, and that has surely told them something. Maybe a stronger statement of giving up the JWs, alongside the potential loss of a daughter and grandchild will help wake them?

    But ultimately you have to weigh up what you value in life - for yourself. Don't place that weight on anyone else, far less your b/f who has little chance of truly understanding.

  • Cordelia
    Cordelia

    i know you are both right and thank u for being there for me, but i think i am realising that i couldnt be happy without my family around me, i think what i should do is get reinstated and then leave, i know i can do it now as i have really stood up to my dad so much im sure i could handle fading and i think thats maybe what i should do,

    as for the bf to be quite honest i know i have been unfair on him, but there have been a few things that have happened recently that have made me question how much i love him, he really can be a nasty person and talk to me badly, and hes younger than me and i just think he cant give me the support i need, tho i realise things must be so hard for him, but i think if i keep seeing him im gonna resent him and that isnt fair,

    x

  • daystar
    daystar

    You should absolutely not leave the Organization for your boyfriend any more than you should stay because of your dad.

    I don't know that you have gotten the point of many of the replies to your posts on this topic.

    You must do whatever you decide for yourself only and not because of the influence of anyone else.

    If you continue living your life based upon the expectations of others, you absolutely will never be truly happy.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    First things first, as you already comment on, yes we're here for you

    I think you may have identified something really important regarding the resentment thing. You have an awful lot going on at the moment from the DF/Reinstatement thing, an Ex-husband, strained relationships with your parents and boyfriend, a child to look after, as well as any other work and social commitments and a milestone birthday coming up Are you really ready to be involved in a committed relationship, complete with a live-in partner?

    Just be warned that though you might eventually get reinstated, things might not be how you envisage them. They kept my sister hanging on for two years and then later DF'ed her again when they interfered with her life. My parents have continued to try to get her to get reinstated again using every trick in the book, but fortunately her husband isn't having any of it and is a good shoulder of support. She doesn't want it either, but sometimes feels really pressured. She also misses her other two brothers, as do I.

  • Cordelia
    Cordelia

    thats the piont tho daystar i honestly dont know what would make me truely happy!

    im leaving the jws anyway i just wonder whether i would be happier being reinstated first, so i can have some degree of contact rather than throwing it away for a bf who im not sure is worth it!

    see if the bf wasnt in the picture i would just be leaving for me and would probably do that after i got reinstated (play them at their own game get that annoucement maybe even help unsupecting ones to leave!) if the bf is in the picture he will not allow me to get reinstaed coz it would mean hiding him even more, and he keeps wanting me to prove my love by telling everyone about him,

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