It seems that it was yesterday that I registered on this forum. A year has gone by. Amazing. I didn't actually start posting until April 24, 2007. By reading those first few posts, I can tell that I was still quite afraid of being "outed" by someone locally. Eventually, several on this board did figure out who I was. I provided enough details in my postings that they called me on it. Thankfully, they have chosen to keep my identity a secret. They, too, are either inactive or disfellowshipped. Their identity remains a secret with me as well.
You can read through some of my early topics if you don't know my background. It's reallynot that interesting. A quick and dirty version is in my profile here on JWD. After serving as an elder five of the last 6 years I was truly active in the Organization, I was deleted as an elder. This was after several attempts by one particular elder to do so before. Only because I was done with the "Truth" was he successful this last time. I carefully chose the circumstances that would give him ammo to remove me. Because of my previous training at the Society's Ministerial Training School (MTS...NOT the elders' school), I certainly knew the "tricks of the trade" and the secrets of how Service Dept works. If I had wanted to remain an elder, I easily could have. I chose my exit plan carefully.
The elders in that congregation decided that I no longer qualified as an elder because of lack of "reasonableness." If you don't know, and some of you former elders can probably confirm, this particular "Scriptural" qualification is a "catch-all" and means whatever the local BOE wants it to mean. The Society has several "catch-all" phrases that they can use to "getcha" if and when they want...another is "loose conduct." It means what they want it to mean.
I had informally (verbally) stepped resigned in October 2006, but changed my mind and decided that I wanted them to pull the trigger on it in front of the CO. In the meantime, they pulled the plug on me being congregation secretary and public talk coordinator. Although I could have left the records in shambles, my personal pride in doing a good job kept me from doing so. I even had the talks scheduled ahead 6 months, and compiled new Publisher Record cards for the new service year, rather than leave it for the new secretary, who is a complete imbicile in life and in recordkeeping. I know, I had to clean up his mess and the mess of the two secretaries that followed him.
This particular elder hated me from the day I walked into their doors in January 2003. He put a stop to my appointment for a year, and nearly was successful in blocking it after that. Several times this one elder (aka "My Nemesis") tried to bring things up to the CO, even bringing the DO into it. It wasn't "my time" yet. I was ready to go when they finally did pull the trigger at the end of 2006.
I had my Publisher card transferred to a nearby congregation in January 2006, but did not start attending for almost 4 weeks...I just stopped going. After a phone call from an elder there (a good man and a good friend for many years, and now their PO), I started attending again. I was going on Sunday as well as the Theocraptic Misery Skool and Sales Meeting. I never did attend the Congregation Book Study. My first meeting was a Sunday. I was still using a briefcase. Some of the publishers thought I was the speaker. I had given talks there in the past, and also I was one of less than a dozen white brothers there, so no surprise they thought I was a visitor.
Imagine their surprise when the R&F publishers found out I was now a member of their congregation. The elders knew I was going to be coming. In fact, they were hoping to start using me that very week as an elder. Little did they know that a) a NastyGram (aka "letter of introduction") was coming disqualifying me as an elder and b) that my move to their congregation was nothing more than the first step to a year-long fade. I kind of felt bad about that second thing.
They were very kind to me at first. The "love-bombing" had commenced. It did not last long. When I refused to join the Theocraptic Misery School and asked not to be used for anything, that raised some eyebrows. My not attending the Congo Bull $hit meeting was another problem. Though I turned in field service reports, they were strictly "phantom" reports. I never went in the formal field circus again after I left the previous congo Christmas 2006.
To those of you lurkers on this board, if you want to know how to do a textbook "fade", this is it: I slowly stopped going to meetings at my new congo...first just missing the evening meeting, then missing an occasional Sunday, then leaving after the Public Rant and skipping the Craptower Indoctrination Session....then ...missed altogether. Conveniently, the KH underwent a 6-week renovation (complete gutting of the KH), so the congos were assigned to use a KH elsewhere. I went to the Grand Boasting Session in the Summer 2007...and one last Sunday meeting when they started meeting again after the remodel...mostly to see what it looked like and what my donation was paying for.....oh wait, scratch that.... I DIDN'T DONATE A PENNY...LOL
I haven't attended a meeting of Jehovah's Witlesses or even stepped foot in a Kingdum Hell since that last meeting, September 23, 2007.
What have I done in the interim? I have a lot more time on my hands, that is for certain. I work a lot....I write my own schedule but, just like the field circus, there are times that are more productive in my field (in person bill collections) than others. Unfortunately, while still busy in "Theocraptic" activities, those prime times were occupied with Borg "busy work". Now, I work less hours...maybe 25 hours a week, but work when I want. I made more money in 2007 than I have ever made.
I had previously completed 71 credit hours towards an Associates Degree...but most of those hours do not transfer to a 4 year University (I was in a career program), so I am now back in college, completing my transfer degree. with a lot of hard work I might finish May 2009...then possibly move on to a 4-yr university to complete a Bachelor's Degree...in what, I don't know quite yet...leaning toward Business Administration... or possibly my childhood dream of something in the IT field.
What does the future hold for Snakes? If you read this long a$$ post, you are a good person. If not, I don't blame you...LOL.... First of all, I HAVE A FUTURE....a future of FREEDOM ...freedom to think, freedom to question, freedom to do what I wish. I have many of you to thank for that. While lurking on this board, I benefited from many of your stories and wisdom. Rather than risk leaving out tons of people, just let me say thank you to all. Thank you to Simon to keeping this insane assylum running. With all the -gates here of late, I wouldn't have blamed you for saying "the hell with it" and pulling the damn plug....thanks for not doing that.
I have often thought about leaving the forum....and almost did awhile back....but like a black hole, it keeps drawing me back. So for now, I will hang around, to the dismay of some, to the joy of others.
Let me say something about the former...."dismay of some." I know that I have said things on this forum you don't agree with. I have been told, ironically enough, that I am not being "reasonable" (where have I heard that before?) I am sorry that I am not "maturing" fast enough post-JW for you. Just as it took time to get to where you are, I have to take that journey myself. There are no shortcuts. One step at a time. In the interim, I have to slowly extract the tendrils of the Borg mindset out of my thinking patterns. 35 years of Borg Indoctrination does not go away overnight, nor does it go away without consequence for myself and those around me.
So if I was too judgmental of you here, or if I objected to something you posted that I felt was "over the top," forgive me. In time, that will lessen. Meanwhile, patience is a virtue. If you cannot associate with me or be a friend because....well, maybe I will weigh you down on your journey, and you cannot or are unable to wait for me to catch up with you and be a friend until I do, then I am saddened by that. Understand my friendship is open to you now or if and when I catch up to you.
To those who don't mind me tagging along on your journey, even if I might slow you down a bit, thank you for being a friend. Those seem to be in short supply in my life post-JW. Maybe together we can help others on this journey from the clutches of the Craptower Dribble and Spit Society....aka Jehobers Witlesses.....
..remember...we are as strong as our weakest among us. May you all continue to draw strength from each other on this board. Maybe one day we will reach that esteemed status that Simon has mentioned before....ex-exJW... (what did you think I was talking about..Supreme One?)
SnakesInTheTower (of the "finally free" Sheep Class)
PS...if you made it through all 1600+ words above, you deserve a metal. Oh, and I still don't want to be "outed," but I figure it is a matter of time..sooner than later, that it happens.