I stopped believing that I could rescue everyone when I left the make believe world of the JWs. Lisa
Pragmatic Class
We are awash in the rather horrifying tidal wave of ALTRUISM. The idea that you must sacrifice yourself to others has wrought more devastation in everyday life than people are willing to acknowledge.
We are taught, first of all, that it is our DUTY to fend for others because they have NEED.
Like any pyramid scheme (which this certainly is) the payoff has to come later for your self when you have need. You must rely on the willingness of others to sacrifice for you.
War is an example of this logic.
You forefathers died so that you may live in freedom. Now you must die so that your children may live in freedom. Your children must die so that their kids can live in freedom. There is a lot of death there in that equation! It is your duty to die. Where is your duty to live? Is life about dying for OTHERS to live? Why are those OTHERS the beneficiaries of the death of you? Are they better than you?
The logic breaks down everywhere there is close inspection.
In an ALTRUISTIC society we gain reputation and value in the eyes of others how? By giving. The more of your time, effort, property, etc. you expend on behalf of the "other" the greater your value. (To those others with their hands out.)
If you do something that improves your own condition you are viewed as cheating the poor and the helpless. You are, (gasp!) SELFISH!
Step back and look at that.
You improve your own life and you are SELFISH. But, if you improve the other person's life you are GOOD.
What is wrong with this picture.
It is fundamentally skewed to make the needy, the non-earners, the non-productive person the object of benevolence and the backwash of scorn goes to those who improve their own status by virtue of their personal resourcefulness and effort.
If we have the rights to life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness, do we not have to DO SOMETHING to create those conditions by our own efforts or should we hold out our hand like a streetcorner beggar and expect them to fall in our hand?
If we are all CREATED EQUAL, is it not logical that this cannot mean we are equal in talent, health, ability and soundness, but rather, equal in our OPPORTUNITY to improve our condition by our own efforts.
An opportunity is not a guarantee! A plot of ground is not a garden; it is the opportunity for a garden.
Any working single mother knows that you constantly sacrifice for your own children. But, to do so beyond a certain point of equilibrium is disastrous. When you lose your strength, energy, happiness and health serving even your own children you are ALL at risk of burn-out and a train wreck.
The family has to learn how each person does a job to contribute to self-support WHICH THEN redounds to the benefit of the group. The child must learn to dress themselves, bathe, brush their teeth, prepare and eat a meal and clean up afterward, do homework, earn, improve, etc. Otherwise, the burden is always on the parent who loses themselves in the effort.
We either learn to be self-sufficient or we learn to be dependant on the sacrifice of others. When we cause others to sacrifice for us because we failed to do for ourselves we are stealing a part of their life from them. The fact that some are willing to smile and give does not mean they are not suffering the consequence of the imbalance.
We need to teach and learn self-sufficiency from birth. Parents who confuse DOING FOR their children with teaching them self-reliance are harming them immeasurably.
We are swimming in a growing tide of grownup children who think the world OWES THEM whatever they want and need simply because they WANT.
We've spawned a society of beggars. Altruism is the foundational belief.
Altruism is the tool of religion. We are made servants by religion. We think we serve God; but, we serve those who USE US for their own benefit.
Just as the WATCHTOWER used us for their benefit by teaching us to constantly serve, give, serve, give---until we collapse in an empty shell of a life that is advertised as so beautiful-----we find these landmines everywhere in our society and the world at large.
How will we escape the trap of self-sacrifice unless we recognize how insidious it is?
Terry