21 Years as an Elder, 5 as an MS, I will never be that guy again.

James Jack

I was deleted as the COBE after I let my Adult child move back home and he admitted that he fornicated under my roof while my wife and I where away on a RBC project. Of course the Elder mode in me kicked him out of the house.

The Elders moved quickly to remove me because I was too involved in "Theocractic Activities", I had neglected my Adult Son.

I accepted this primarily because I didn't want to serve with a BOE that did not want me. I was devastated however because it was the only life I knew. This also took a heavy weight off me and allowed me see what the pressures of the common JW (Regular Publisher), experience. You see the wife and I were also Regular Pioneers at the time, some 38 years together. We were as hardcore as it gets, looking down on others who could not match "our zeal", with the same circumstances as us. We stopped Pioneering also after my deletion, which gave me more free time to see what's out there. Here I am at this site.

carla

Welcome!

James Jack

I took on more secular work because it dawned on me that I had no retirement plan and I was 52 at the time, this "System of Things", wasn't supposed to last this long. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of the future. What happens if this "Promised New World" does not come in my lifetime? Is this Life all there is?

Seeing things though as a Regular Publisher is very life changing. This past August there was this Special Tract work in which everyone was "Encouraged" to Aux Pioneer. They announced at the meeting that 58 out of 70 pubs are going to Pioneer that month, "The BOE would like to see 100%"! I was so embarrassed, because the wife and I were part of the 12 that didn't sign up. Further more, after the meeting, each Elder an application in their hand and approached those who had not signed up.

cappytan

Dad, is that you?

Probably not.....wishful thinking.

All kidding aside, welcome. I'm still in. By all appearances, a zealous witness.

This has been a great support group. I'm grateful for not being alone.

adjusted knowledge

Welcome to the Board

Further more, after the meeting, each Elder an application in their hand and approached those who had not signed up.

Very heavy handed of them and not Christ like.

James,

I hope you take the time to read the various topics and discussions on this board. It can be a daunting task, and cause a panic for those that been witnesses for a long time. This board is full of people who've had the same or similar experiences as yourself. There are those with tact here and many without. I wish you well on your journey.

Village Idiot

Pioneering and elder responsibilities? You must have been a glutton for punishment. Welcome to the forum.

Magnum

I, too, was an elder for a good while - a prominent one. I had many responsibilities. Also, my wife and I were both reg pios for a good while. We still are in shock over the fact that we were uber-dubs for so long and now our feelings about JWdom are so different. We're still processing it all.

You wrote "I will never be that guy again." Please explain. Is it because your eyes are being opened or have been opened to TTATT (the truth about "the Truth")?

I know I could never be the guy I was again. I told my wife that even if somehow I found out that JWism is the one and only true religion, I still could not go back to being the JW I was. I would be a JW, but I would be a very serious, dignified one who was aware of all the flaws in the religion and the organization. I would not kiss a$$es anymore. I would not treat COs anymore special than the lowliest publisher in the congregation. I would be honest and point out things that seem wrong and/or don't make sense. I just couldn't be the JW I was - constantly praising the organization and going along with the silly, embarrassing stuff.

KateWild

Welcome James,

I expect the life of a publisher is completely different to the life of the COBE. Now that you can see how the rank and file live you may want to explore things a little more closely.

I recommend you both read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz and have a look at websites like jwfacts.com and jwsurvey.org.

Reading all this information helped me tremendously.

Kate xx

Magnum

I took on more secular work because it dawned on me that I had no retirement plan and I was 52 at the time, this "System of Things", wasn't supposed to last this long. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of the future. What happens if this "Promised New World" does not come in my lifetime? Is this Life all there is?

Constant topic of conversation with me and wife. We are mid-fifties and have no retirement prospects. You are absolutely correct, 100%ly right, in stating that this system wasn't supposed to last this wrong. We should be at least a couple of decades into the "new world" now. Some JWs now will deny that, but they are wrong.

Now, every day of my life, I wonder whether this life is all there is. If so, I have, at best, a few years left, and they will be spent working a low-paying, hard job. Thanks, JWdom.

Splash

Hi James Jack,

Welcome. I've been where you are (well, very close).
You are going to go through mental and emotional hell as you adjust your long term held beliefs, your personality and your family obligations.

At least you now when you have something to say, you have somewhere you can come without fear of being judged, accused or looked down on.

21 Years as an Elder, 5 as an MS, I will never be that guy again.

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